Responsibility to entertain?? (boyfriend, girls, love, single)
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Agh I hate having to ask this - but I am in such emotional ache, I need advice.
I'll try to be brief.
Boyfriend & I got into an argument yesterday, and I feel that he always manages to make things worse with what he says.
I was upset because I wanted to spend time with him, & he was playing video games. He ALWAYS plays & I never say anything, but yesterday, he just kept saying " in a minute", and 2 hrs later he was free.
At that point, he knew I was upset, so he comes out of his room from playing, and just starts talking, making me feel so much worse.
He said "you're just going to be like this?, all because I wanted to play my game" & then he said the words that have been playing in my head over and over again, and it feels like a bullet to my head every time.
He said "it's not my responsibility to entertain you" - it really hurts because I never thought of me wanting to spend time with him as a means for him to entertain me.
I love him so much, and I just want to spend all my time with him. Clearly, he doesn't feel the same way, he sees it as entertaining me.
We've been together for 2 years, and I just don't know what to do. I am so hurt, I feel like I'm a burden. & now I feel like it's my fault, maybe I shouldn't want to spend all my time with him.
Do I leave? Am I being needy? I don't know what to do, my heart hurts...
Not enough information here. How many hours a week does he do "his" stuff like video games that you don't participate in? What is your amount of time for solo activities? And how much time do you spend doing stuff together?
In the end, if you can't agree then you're just not compatible. But to tell if you're needy you have to know just how much time you're spending and how much time you're wanting to spend together to see if he is even close to being agreeable.
Loving him doesn't mean you should smother him. Why can'the play? But you need to tell him stop telling you in a minute when it actually 2-hour, actually my husband does this when he is engrossed in reading something online, better time prediction. A minute is a minute. Two hours is two hours. Not the same.
He is correct it is not his job to entertain you or fulfill your entire life. The next time he is playing his video games and ignoring you, leave and go do something that does entertain you without him.
If he thinks just spending some reasonable couples time together and off the video games is "entertaining you" and a burden, you are with the wrong guy.
Yea, not enough info. How much time did you guys spend before this? If you were together every single day then I can see why he would want to have his time doing his own thing. If you haven't seen each other in a week and that's how he spends that time when you're finally together then he's a jerk.
Either way, if you don't like what he's doing when you're there and you feel neglected, you can always find something to do to entertain yourself or you can just leave. I think everybody needs time to do their own thing every now and then. Please don't let your world revolve around his. I've seen many girls do this and the guy does not like it.
We've been together for 2 years, and I just don't know what to do. I am so hurt, I feel like I'm a burden. & now I feel like it's my fault, maybe I shouldn't want to spend all my time with him.
Do I leave? Am I being needy? I don't know what to do, my heart hurts...
He is not going to change, so you have to decide if this is the kind of guy you want.
He's not into you he's into his video games. Once he starts playing them an hour turns into six righr? He prolly has no sense of time with them and it's taking his time away from you.
Drop him and find somebody who has hobbies, not habits. Their are healthy things to spend your time doing and then there are addictions.
I could not be with someone who had to have me around all the time. I have my own interests, my spouse has his own interests, and then we have interests that we share together. It's a good balance. The key is keeping it balanced.
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