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Old 01-03-2016, 10:52 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,664 times
Reputation: 10

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Do you think a woman would look needly or desperate if she called a man that has not called her in 5 weeks? It would be good to know what happened. We dated for about a month and on that day he implied we were in a relationship and made all kinds of promises as to how we would handle the relationship. Granted the man might be scared of relationships because his wife cheated on him and then cleaned him out in the divorce 5 years ago.

I dont want to date him or anything because I believe that honesty and communication are essential in any relationship, but it really pisses me off that he made a lot of promises and asked me to wait patiently while he dealt with some work issues. The only time I have heard from him is when I initiate texting. If I confront it would have to be by talking to him. I am really pissed off because I trusted him and shared some very personal information.

I am the type of person that is hard to let go if someone did me wrong and until I discuss it with that person it continues to bother me. I go from wanting to let it go and forgetting about it, to needing to let him have it and its the back and forth mentality. I know that once I let him have I will be ok.

What do you think I should do?
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Old 01-03-2016, 10:57 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,616,037 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim150 View Post
Do you think a woman would look needly or desperate if she called a man that has not called her in 5 weeks? It would be good to know what happened. We dated for about a month and on that day he implied we were in a relationship and made all kinds of promises as to how we would handle the relationship. Granted the man might be scared of relationships because his wife cheated on him and then cleaned him out in the divorce 5 years ago.

I dont want to date him or anything because I believe that honesty and communication are essential in any relationship, but it really pisses me off that he made a lot of promises and asked me to wait patiently while he dealt with some work issues. The only time I have heard from him is when I initiate texting. If I confront it would have to be by talking to him. I am really pissed off because I trusted him and shared some very personal information.

I am the type of person that is hard to let go if someone did me wrong and until I discuss it with that person it continues to bother me. I go from wanting to let it go and forgetting about it, to needing to let him have it and its the back and forth mentality. I know that once I let him have I will be ok.

What do you think I should do?
I had a girl I met through coworkers and friends I worked with invite me over to a party and to try some wine.


We ended up being together for about two years.
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:14 AM
 
4,043 posts, read 3,755,140 times
Reputation: 4103
If you truly just want closure I don't see why not. I wouldn't go in thinking we would get back together. But if a guy did that to me I would just move on. I know how some will say anything to get into your pants.
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,283,321 times
Reputation: 50370
What do you really want to hear? I think you DO want to get back together but you'd likely be better off considering his rude behavior and the possibility you were a "rebound".

Get your own closure - you don't need a "story" from him that you won't accept anyway - you'll just keep asking for more and more of an explanation and won't be satisfied in the end.

Maybe guys are smarter about things (though still rude) - they make a decision and walk...women "decide" and then go back to the man hoping he'll talk her out of it!
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:19 AM
 
1,881 posts, read 1,479,150 times
Reputation: 4533
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim150 View Post
Do you think a woman would look needly or desperate if she called a man that has not called her in 5 weeks? It would be good to know what happened. We dated for about a month and on that day he implied we were in a relationship and made all kinds of promises as to how we would handle the relationship.
Did you sleep with him?

And were all of these promises right before you went to bed for the first time?
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:32 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,664 times
Reputation: 10
I never slept with him and he wasn't insinuating we should. It was not a rebound as he had had 2 previous girlfriends. I thought we were 2 mature adults making a decision. We are both in out 50's.

Yes, i cannot deny I still have feelings for him.
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:34 AM
 
Location: SoCal
20,160 posts, read 12,713,073 times
Reputation: 16993
Be wary of men who promise too much too soon. My sister met one of those and suffered and wasted 5 years. I wouldn't call, it sounds like he was not really honest with you.
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:42 AM
 
1,881 posts, read 1,479,150 times
Reputation: 4533
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slim150 View Post
I never slept with him and he wasn't insinuating we should. It was not a rebound as he had had 2 previous girlfriends. I thought we were 2 mature adults making a decision. We are both in out 50's.

Yes, i cannot deny I still have feelings for him.
Okay, so he just changed his mind. What difference does it make why? You were only dating a month, and you're not entitled to any big explanations. He just lost interest. It happens. Move on.
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,766,074 times
Reputation: 25362
Why the hell would you want him? If they don't show interest don't be desperate.
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Old 01-03-2016, 11:54 AM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
Reputation: 62664
You got your closure when he left and did not return, the signal that he does not want to be with you is pretty clear.
You are wasting time and energy on something that is trivial at best and you should have already moved forward.
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