Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As an American woman let me tell you what I suspect is wrong with the older brother. American woman expect to be equals, we speak our mind and expect to be considered in decisions. Some men want a woman who will bow down to them and allow them to be head of household and stick to cooking, cleaning and child raising. Some other cultures try to train girls that way, we teach ours they are valued and worth listening to. Many think they want a subservient woman so look to other places, some like that and some find out they were wrong.
One man went to the Philippines and brought home a bride, she didn't speak English and had no friends and no family here, they had a daughter together. The bride didn't drive, cut her hair, work or socialize just raising the daughter and obeying her husband. He found her boring so told her he wanted a divorce but he would still support her and the daughter who was 4 but the wife wasn't allowed to date until the daughter was 18 and she wasn't to work or put the girl in daycare. The man had sisters who told his wife he wasn't allowed to tell her what to do after a divorce. The sisters taught her to drive, she got a hair cut and took a job, put the girl in daycare. He couldn't divorce her because he would lose control so canceled the divorce. Now the daughter finished college and is a doctor, the mother drives and does whatever she wants, he is much happier with her now that she is a woman not a servant. She would be kept in the family in a divorce he would be out if he didn't treat her right, his sisters respect his wife more than him. She owns her own business now but it has been over 30 years since she came here.
As an American woman let me tell you what I suspect is wrong with the older brother. American woman expect to be equals, we speak our mind and expect to be considered in decisions. Some men want a woman who will bow down to them and allow them to be head of household and stick to cooking, cleaning and child raising. Some other cultures try to train girls that way, we teach ours they are valued and worth listening to. Many think they want a subservient woman so look to other places, some like that and some find out they were wrong.
One man went to the Philippines and brought home a bride, she didn't speak English and had no friends and no family here, they had a daughter together. The bride didn't drive, cut her hair, work or socialize just raising the daughter and obeying her husband. He found her boring so told her he wanted a divorce but he would still support her and the daughter who was 4 but the wife wasn't allowed to date until the daughter was 18 and she wasn't to work or put the girl in daycare. The man had sisters who told his wife he wasn't allowed to tell her what to do after a divorce. The sisters taught her to drive, she got a hair cut and took a job, put the girl in daycare. He couldn't divorce her because he would lose control so canceled the divorce. Now the daughter finished college and is a doctor, the mother drives and does whatever she wants, he is much happier with her now that she is a woman not a servant. She would be kept in the family in a divorce he would be out if he didn't treat her right, his sisters respect his wife more than him. She owns her own business now but it has been over 30 years since she came here.
For a lot of guys, its all about control (driven by insecurities)
yet, but, if you disagree with what he says, tell him you love him; he's your brother, and since you guys have different viewpoints on the subject... that you will not be won over to his side despite his "arguments" to do so... Tell him you and he must simply agree to disagree. It doesn't mean you don't love him, like him, value his opinions... If he continues or escalates things with your wife, or insists on ragging about her to you, limit your interaction with him.
Yeah. And what Mikala43 says, too:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
Tell him the subject is off limits, and while he certainly has a right to not like your wife, he will be polite to her.
Tell him you respect his decisions, and you expect the same in return. People are different and like different things/people.
After that if he starts being insulting do not say a word, walk away or hang up the phone.
I don't know so much about him pulling his life together but I couldn't tell you because I don't talk to him he's on his own. My dog is only four months old so he's going to be with me for a while and when he dies I'll get another one. You can't do that with men and relationships so I fell sorry for you.
Your brother is probably better off with having you out of his life.
And yes, when a spouse dies, you CAN get another one! People do it all the time.
Don't feel sorry for me! I had one of those husband thingies once...until he died. Now, I *could* be getting a new one, but I am not interested in dealing with another man and his insecurities or his dominance or hard headed opinions.
None the less.... is your girlfriend hot? Maybe he is jealous.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Didn't read every post...
