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About 10 years ago I went on a date with our Cisco inside sales rep at Insight. It was a terrible date that went downhill quickly, and I didn't really have cantaloupes enough to tell her I didn't enjoy myself. So, I switched all my business to IT1 and faded away.
It kind of sucked because Insight gave me lots of suite tickets to Dbacks games.
Here are my observations after over 30 years in various industry workplaces. Women think the workplace is one of the very best places to meet men. Right or wrong, men on the job are seen as safe, having cleared security and having something to lose. Furthermore, women get to show off their work acumen and perhaps impress a man with something besides their looks.
So you get confident women and safe men, which is a good formula for fast relationships. Men have to be careful playing the game though. Unwanted attention from a male is often punished; unwanted attention from a female never is.
I've done it more often than I should. I'm pretty impulsive that way. I mean, formally, it is so absolutely a terrible idea...but the convenience is so ridiculous. I (and likely most others) am awake at work more than anywhere else, surrounded by people, a portion of which are eligible women who have at least one thing in common with me...more if we're in a similar department.
I do have the luxury of being a contractor though, so I'm rarely working for a company more than a year, which reduces the chance of any fallout.
Side story: at my last company, a C-level exec was sleeping with two of her employees, got caught, and somehow got THEM fired. Oh, corporate america.
I also don't think it's as big a deal as people make it out to be if you don't have direct contact with the person in your job's day to day activities. Rule of thumb: if it will interfere with your career trajectory or create workplace drama, don't do it.
I just started a new job in Dec and it's amazing how many people I work with who met, dated, and married in the workplace. None of them as far as I can tell had direct working relationships with their SO though.
I met my LH at work. We were in different departments, had little interaction with each other and kept our relationship a secret for 6 months, by choice as we worked for a gossipy company and didn't want them involved in our relationship. We "came out" when he left the company. The nice thing was I was doing payroll at the time so we'd pass notes to each other using Inter-company mail without raising suspicion.
We had (separate) co-workers who knew each of us was dating someone in the company but not who, though I had a friend in HR who knew.
This was a very incestuous company. There were a lot of couples who worked there as well as siblings, parent-children, exes, etc.
At my current job, no. I wouldn't do it. It's a very small company with only a couple of us who are single. One of them asked me out about a year after LH died - I've felt awkward around him ever since as I am in no way interested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE
Here are my observations after over 30 years in various industry workplaces. Women think the workplace is one of the very best places to meet men.
My friend just got a new job at a large company. As OLD and an active social life have gotten her nowhere on the dating scene, she has high hopes she will meet someone at work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah
Wasn't there just a thread about this a few weeks ago?
A situation I saw: Young and inexperienced farm boy hooks up with wild and sexy experienced woman (she's slightly older than he is, very free spirit, into lots of fun stuff in bed.) He fell head over heels and asked her to marry him, she laughed at him and told him no. She wasn't looking to get married at that time in her life, and he wasn't mature enough or manly enough to really interest her. He was only a romp for her. Shortly after, he proposed to a "nice girl" (possibly a virgin, if not then nearly so) from a far more conservative upbringing.
All of these people worked at the same office, where I also worked, and was friends with them.
After the wedding, he found that his new bride was simply unimaginative in bed and found things he wanted to do, to be "gross" and "deviant" and wouldn't even try them. Ouch.
He pestered wild girl relentlessly to mess around with him again, craving that action he had before. She was offended and upset. His new wife was her friend, and did not know that they'd even been previously involved. He continued to create much awkwardness with his advances, and eventually after he began to make gestures, faces, and comments where his wife might overhear or see them, at the other gal, my friend the more experienced lady just up and quit the job to get away from him.
She didn't want to be the reason that the marriage had issues, as she cared about both halves of it. So she just bowed out and left the job.
Thing is...there's an awful lot of potential for drama and gossip and bad outcomes. If you care about your job and aren't just of the mindset that you can easily move on any time you like, then I'd steer clear of workplace relationships, even flings. I personally take this one step further and evaluate shared social circles of the people I choose to date, and forecast what social fallout could result from a breakup. I don't want anyone to have their network fall apart in such a situation, or friends to have to choose sides.
Is it ever a good idea to date people at work like even your boss or supervisor or even a co worker.
My friends were suggesting for me to date this one lady that calls the helpdesk to talk to me but idk it doesnt seem right to date people at work?
What do you guys think?
Of course. I wouldn't exist otherwise (my parents met at work).
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