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Who says I'm alone? I'm currently in a casual relationship, mainly just for sex. It's my style of relationship, no strings attached, no commitment.
Why do you assume spending time with my friend's son is a waste of time? I surely don't feel like that.
Well, it is good that you are having sex with a woman who is not the focus of this question. I feel that spending any time with children voluntarily that are not your own and who already have a parent in their life is a waste of time for childless males.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
Ignore that poster. He's a PUA wannabe who constantly gives bad advice on this forum.
This was an uncalled for and unnecessary personal attack.
I feel that spending any time with children voluntarily that are not your own and who already have a parent in their life is a waste of time for childless males.
That's the message he's been getting from his friends. Obviously the OP disagrees.
We're all human. What we set out to do doesn't necessarily end up what we do.
Mundano, you seem like a stand up human being. I have no idea what your inner feelings are towards your friend. Whether you have ever or do now even have a shred of a sexual feeling towards her is for you to decide. Just because you are in a casual relationship means nothing. You have entered this with no intention of entering a deeper relationship with her. But what if? If something mutual did happen would you run away because of this not using a child stance? Or would you let things happen and then feel bad about yourself?
Being a father figure to a child is a big deal, because to the child I guarantee you are 100-fold more important than he is to you. Once making that commitment as a quasi-father role, if down the road life changes and you move on, unless your friend finds a true relationship the child could be devastated.
For all of us, life is a slippery slope. You're the only one walking your path. Good luck.
I feel that spending any time with children voluntarily that are not your own and who already have a parent in their life is a waste of time for childless males.
I agree. Not only a waste of time, but also risky.
What happens if you and her have a falling out and she concocts some ridiculous story about you abusing the kids in some way? It's your word against hers; and with women who have children, they're like the house in Vegas (the house don't lose). The police and authorities are going to view this like your friends view it (that you have ulterior motives and you are "that guy").
Female companion + no sex = loneliness for you. You need to be spending your time with childless females who can form healthier long term relationships with you. That's a better use of your time.
Don't listen to this. That guy is always giving crappy advice.
I have a very good female friend. We've been friends since we were teens.
She had a complicated relationship with a guy who mistreated her and ended up pregnant. He abandoned her when she told him about the baby.
Well, the little boy is now 3 years old and he doesn't really have any male relatives around. My friend's father is not around because he also abandoned her when she was a child and she has no siblings.
The boy is very fond of me and I've also grew attached to him. He knows very well I'm not his father but treats me as his uncle. I always buy him birthday and Christmas presents, sometimes pick him up from kindergarten when my friend has to stay until later in her job and try to ease her life as I can because I know being a single mum is not easy.
Her son always runs to me for a hug whenever I show up, he's a really nice little fella. Always very polite and well behaved.
However, many of my male friends think I have second intentions with his mother. I would never use a child to get a woman, I truly only help her and her son out of friendship.
Good for you for stepping up to the plate and giving this kid some unconditional love. Kids without positive male role models in their lives suffer greatly (as you can see by some of the posts here). You are doing a great service for this kid.
What you are doing is awesome. Don't listen to your friends.
Being a father figure to a child is a big deal, because to the child I guarantee you are 100-fold more important than he is to you. Once making that commitment as a quasi-father role, if down the road life changes and you move on, unless your friend finds a true relationship the child could be devastated
Much better to have a positive, loving male role model in a kids life for a while than not to have one at all.
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