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Of course it's not the same, for one, some men could be as much as a 100 pounds heavier and much larger than your average woman. I'm glad I'm not a woman. I'm not that big of a guy, but I can pretty much over power most women, assuming of course they're not UFC fighters... Like Ronda Rousey, she could whup my azz in a split second......
I don't think anyone wants to be on her bad side. Well, maybe except for Holly Holm.
Intuition or 'gut emotion' is an interesting thing...I can remember my first boyfriend and the associated feelings I had- knowing something was off, and not listening to that (mainly because I was smitten)..It turned out he was indeed cheating on me as I later learned and realized it was my "intuition" trying to warn me..Intuition is defined as a strong emotion, feeling, or signal going off somewhere in your subconscious trying to tell you something is happening..it is weird because intuition is due to a lack of experience, yet you may be noticing something that random experiences and prior knowledge taught you in the past without you realizing it. I think most people experience intuitive experiences on a daily basis. I have gotten much better at "judging" people's character the older I've gotten. Nowadays people are so exposed and there is so much info. on the NET (lol) to do research on someone before you meet, but there will always be a degree of mystery that only face-to-face contact will resolve...even then, we are all strangers.
If your intuition is warning you, then listen to it, but you need to pay more attention to how you are selecting these guys in the first place.
On line dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
It's called dating and you will find, not everyone is your cup of tea. You might realize it on the first, or pasted the 3rd date.
I would guess that I've been on somewhere around 150 dates in the last 7 years. Over 95% of them have been first and only dates b/c there was no chemistry at all and some of those have become friends. So yes, you're right, I have found that not everyone is my cup of tea, lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Yes, the gut can be wrong at times, but in the event of not knowing someone, I think for a woman especially, it's important to listen to, and if she's wrong, fine, at least she's not laying in a shallow grave somewhere, if you follow what I mean.
Serial killers and creepy people do exist, this stuff isn't just in Hollywood movies, that being said, one certainly can't approach life with constant fear, but if you're a normal rational person in general and little flags or bells are going off, I think paying attention to them is wise.
I guess I'd better explain that though alarm bells were going off, I don't necessarily think they were evil--just bad for me in some way. The first one was a boyfriend for 9 months and the whole thing did crash and burn but basically I think he's mostly harmless, though he bordered on stalking me. The other one seems to be known in the area and he may be harmless as well, but something was going on with this man--I had a stronger sense of physical danger--I think, b/c it was more recent. I dunno, something just really creeped me out. And thank you for giving me the benefit of believing me to be a rational person Chow.
Maybe not, but it's more of the same (at least similarly) than you think. It's just not really talked about with the genders reserved.
For example, if a girl I talked to on Tinder (or some other app/site) wanted me to come over to her place, I would seriously contemplate it cause who knows what she may do. I don't know her, and I don't know what she could potentially do. That's just one example.
So yeah, I don't agree with your thinking at all. You're basically saying that guys have nothing to fear when it comes to women, and that simply isn't true.
I have to agree with you here. Crazy men can rough up a woman physically, but crazy women can eff with your head and your life in a very bad way. Both are scary and more men should pay attention to signals. They're just not usually trained to do it or even think about it, but maybe guys talk about that among themselves? If not, they should.
I guess I'd better explain that though alarm bells were going off, I don't necessarily think they were evil--just bad for me in some way. The first one was a boyfriend for 9 months and the whole thing did crash and burn but basically I think he's mostly harmless, though he bordered on stalking me. The other one seems to be known in the area and he may be harmless as well, but something was going on with this man--I had a stronger sense of physical danger--I think, b/c it was more recent. I dunno, something just really creeped me out. And thank you for giving me the benefit of believing me to be a rational person Chow.
Oh yes, and another piece of the mystery--the man is a nuclear engineer by training, but working as a laborer. That right there should tell me something, though there are not many engineering jobs in this part of the country.
Oh yes, and another piece of the mystery--the man is a nuclear engineer by training, but working as a laborer. That right there should tell me something, though there are not many engineering jobs in this part of the country.
IDK about the job part, I know that I've always up until recently had a good job, paid well, but the stress was killing me. So him being a sharp guy but working a low end job just could be he's tired of the stress and all. Who knows????
The book "The Gift of Fear" talks about how women were killed or almost because they ignored their intuition. They pushed it aside because they wanted to be nice. It almost or did cost them their lives. He talks about listening to it and the warning signs of things others are doing/saying. Body language not being congruent with their words, etc. I read the book 20 years ago and never forgot it.
^^Excellent book Better to be wrong and hurt someone's feelings, than be right but ignore those primal instincts an put yourself in danger. There's a good reason we're hardwired to sense when something is "hinky".
IDK about the job part, I know that I've always up until recently had a good job, paid well, but the stress was killing me. So him being a sharp guy but working a low end job just could be he's tired of the stress and all. Who knows????
Yes there are people like that and I don't judge them--I could even join them lol. But taken with the other, it did make me wonder. I work with emotionally disturbed kids too and recognize some of the physical signs, but I felt this before I realized about those signs.
Yep.. Went to a date's place and immediately felt weird... He was a world traveler so he had artifacts from all over the world.. But it translated to me as empty and always looking for something I couldn't give him. I continued the date and the rest of it went well. We went out again but he seemed kind of depressed. About a month later, I started having dreams of him leaving me for a fun road trip with his friends and forgetting about me, and had another one of him turning people into demons. We had a fight one night and I was sleeping and groggy and he had left the room and I had this horrible feeling he was going to burn down his place or call the police on me. He didn't do any of that but I have never felt completely comfortable at his place...
Annoyance, yes. Dislike, yes. Even revulsion (it was an OLD date who VERY obviously used photos from 20 years prior and lied about his age).
But not unease. If I did, I'd be out of there so fast, there would be smoke behind me.
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Like Ronda Rousey, she could whup my azz in a split second......
Better to be wrong and hurt someone's feelings, than be right but ignore those primal instincts an put yourself in danger. There's a good reason we're hardwired to sense when something is "hinky".
