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Hello All, Ewokhat here, and I need your opinion on something!
First off, let me start by saying I am writing this for a friend, with the intention of showing him the post in a few days after opinions have been stated.
I have a close friend, who had a very rough childhood and has been on his own since he was around 16 years old. His family suffers from problems with alcoholism, and drug use. My friend however, is a well mannered, and intelligent dude! You would never know that he had it so tough growing up, other than maybe his very shy demeanor. He has his own car that he is paying on, and he lives in a nice 2 bedroom house with his roommate. He loves animals and just really has a good heart, so let me pose a hypothetical question for you all.
If you met someone, and you found out after a date or two, that he came from a very rough upbringing, and that his family was not a part of his life because he chose to get away from all the negativity so that he could have his own life and make his own positive choices...What would you think about that?
Don't let my opinion sway yours, but personally I think that it is a triumph in its own that he had the clear head needed to get a solid job, get a GED on his own accord, and to buy a car, find a nice place to live etc. I don't think any woman that was worth her salt would look down on him for something he couldn't control.
Please, post your absolutely honest opinions.
~Ewokhat
...
If you met someone, and you found out after a date or two, that he came from a very rough upbringing, and that his family was not a part of his life because he chose to get away from all the negativity so that he could have his own life and make his own positive choices...What would you think about that?
...
Please, post your absolutely honest opinions.
~Ewokhat
I'm not a woman but I'll answer anyway. I "judge" all people on their own merits. He did what he had to do and if he's a balanced individual with all his ducks in a row, then he's all right by me. Everybody has some circumstances beyond their control. It's what they do with the cards that have been handed to them that I am interested in.
Hello All, Ewokhat here, and I need your opinion on something!
First off, let me start by saying I am writing this for a friend, with the intention of showing him the post in a few days after opinions have been stated.
I have a close friend, who had a very rough childhood and has been on his own since he was around 16 years old. His family suffers from problems with alcoholism, and drug use. My friend however, is a well mannered, and intelligent dude! You would never know that he had it so tough growing up, other than maybe his very shy demeanor. He has his own car that he is paying on, and he lives in a nice 2 bedroom house with his roommate. He loves animals and just really has a good heart, so let me pose a hypothetical question for you all.
If you met someone, and you found out after a date or two, that he came from a very rough upbringing, and that his family was not a part of his life because he chose to get away from all the negativity so that he could have his own life and make his own positive choices...What would you think about that?
Don't let my opinion sway yours, but personally I think that it is a triumph in its own that he had the clear head needed to get a solid job, get a GED on his own accord, and to buy a car, find a nice place to live etc. I don't think any woman that was worth her salt would look down on him for something he couldn't control.
Please, post your absolutely honest opinions.
~Ewokhat
I wouldn't think anything about it, a lot of people grow up in terrible childhood situations and turn out great making the decision not to follow the examples shown by their family.
People do not get to choose what family they are born too but they do get to choose what they do with the life they are handed. I would consider the choices they made a better reflection of themselves than the family they were born into.
I wouldn't think ill of him, however I'd want to know he did some work on himself to get past the damage from his past. My last LTR, he had a bad childhood and had cut off his family, BUT it became clear he did not get along with MANY people as I got to know him....his family were a**hats, but so were the people he worked with, all his exes, etc.
Distancing yourself is one thing, but he has to have actually done the inner work to let go of all the resentment or he won't be a good partner to anyone.
A woman who really likes your friend would not care what kind of rough past he had. Geez! There are men with violent criminal histories who are still in prison for their crimes yet there are women who fall in love and get into relationships with these men...some even marry them.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter where a person came from what matters most is where they are headed.
Last edited by Posh90210; 01-18-2016 at 06:49 AM..
Reason: Grammatical Error
I'm not a woman but I'll answer anyway. I "judge" all people on their own merits. He did what he had to do and if he's a balanced individual with all his ducks in a row, then he's all right by me. Everybody has some circumstances beyond their control. It's what they do with the cards that have been handed to them that I am interested in.
[good luck to him...or you]
No seriously this is for my friend! If it were me I'd be honest about it. This is the internet after all.
A woman who really likes your friend would not care what kind of rough past he had. Geez! There are men with violent criminal histories who are still in prison for their crimes yet there are women who fall in love and get into relationships with these men...some even marry them.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter where a person came from what matters most is where they are headed.
This guy doesn't even have a criminal record...I liked your sentence at the end. I've told him several times that he can't control his upbringing, but the progress he's made since he's been on his own, in such a short amount of time is just...inspiring honestly.
OP! your friend or your boy friend is doing well in my view. If he is only one in the world with a rough past then it is something to worry but I know some of my friends succeed the most. Good luck OP
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