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Go to your regular family doctor and explain your problem. They'll provide you with medication and give you a referral to the appropriate specialist. Depending on your insurance, the cost will probably be reduced. In the meantime, the meds will give your brain a break from these obsessive thoughts. Then you'll feel less jealous.
I met this girl months ago and we've been dating since them, i'm really trying to forget and avoid jealousy but it's not easy! The fact the i have sex with the same girl my cousin had bothers me too much! I think about breaking up but i love her so much! I'm jealous of her past, unfortunately. People may tell me to end the relationship but i like this girl a lot. I feel myself so imature! She told me in the beginning of our relationship she had sex with my cousin years ago in college. My cousin lied to me, after that i don't talk to him anymore. He lied to me because when i met her he told me he didn't have anything with her, she was just a friend in college years ago. They've know each other for a long time, but she says was only casual, a one night stand! Now talking about other previous relationships we had, she was married twice and i was married only once. I feel jealous in almost everything. I need help how to overcome my insecurities and jealousy. I don't trust her i think she'll cheat on me, she doesn't love...etc. Sometimes i think about breaking up just because she had sex with my cousin, this upsets me very much, even though i like her a lot. What you think i should do? Try? End the relationship? Sometimes i feel like i just can't date a girl who had sex with my cousin, it's tough and hard for me to acceptI don't know what to do anymore!
Beware !!!!! - you could potentially be a danger to her and yourself..... if you let your anguish become a rage. (many of the guys who have gone on to kill and maim women, are guys who let some thoughts push them to rage and they become monsters)
Were you sexless when you met her? Likely not!!!
Get over it, you knew she was not a virgin and neither were you. So why do you think you can trip on her and expect her not to trip on you about your past. Geez !!!
Don't over-rate yourself, as if you are some innocent person as it relates to sex, don't act like you don't understand what is casual sex, and don't act like you don't know what it is to have sex with someone, and after that time is done, that it is not something that continues.
You can't undo her past, nor can you undo your past - what ever attracted you to her is what you should concern yourself with. If you are looking for some fairly tale angel, then you may need to come to terms, that we are simply "human beings".
Why should she trust you, since you had sex prior to meeting her? and what ever your answer is, then you need to give her the same consideration and respect your give yourself. Geez !!!!
Do you measure your life by what's between your legs? If you don't, stop trying to measure her life by whats between her legs.
You are half way to resolving your issue, because first you acknowledged, now its time to look at it without the expectations as if you are some virginal person, or expecting her to re-claim being virginal. You can't turn back time, and you can't undo the past.
You certainly can drive her away from you with this un-necessary focus on this life incident. you can drive yourself to a madness that make you do things you will later regret and find yourself unable to undo.
Remember, people do nutty thing, and don't be one of them. Because such internal conflict drives too many people to hurt, harm, and even kill others. If you are within this frame of anguish. Then you need to go find another girlfriend and don't ask question about stuff you can't handle the answer to.
Today, as reality is, if you want a virgin, you'd probably have to get arrested for finding one, because many women over the age of 16 in this society of today have had some type of sexual interaction with someone at some level and some type, and if they did not physically do it, they certainly have many thoughts about it. So...
Simplicity is, love because you love the person, stop digging for what you can't digest, and don't pursue investigations about things you can't and are unwilling to accept.
Far as you know, she might not like whom ever you previously had sex with, but she is not letting it cause her to take away from her wanting to be with you.
If you are going to continue seeing her in some view as being "less than", then you need to do her and yourself a favor and break it off. If you can't see your mate in the light of their unique beauty, then you need to leave them alone. If you want to be respected, you need to be one who respects others !!!!
Last edited by Chance and Change; 04-17-2016 at 07:45 AM..
I don't have a problem she slept with other guys before but the only problem I have is because it was my cousin. That mother****er I hate my cousin!
Be careful!!!! you are on the verge of becoming a violent and dangerous person !!!! Wake up before its too late and get over yourself. You are on the verge of becoming one of these people that is read about in the internet!!! who became a crazed monster and killed or severely harmed someone.
You want to blame your cousin and a girl, because they knew each other before you got a fixation on the woman. Come on man, that's nuts!!!!
Your cousin did not do a darn thing to you!!!!, and he was under no obligation to have told you about anyone he previously slept with. Who do you think you are? He does not owe you any disclosure.
You should thank him, for respecting her enough to be discreet about his previous intimate experience with her. It shows that he respected her.. and he has shown her more respect than you are showing her or to him.
You have one of those "I own this P---Y mentalities" and it is insidious and dangerous, it is disrespectful to her, and it is disrespectful unto her.
From your attitude, you are likely to be one of those who want to monitor her every move, and if she stays in the bathroom for 10 minutes, you are suspecting her of something. She probably can't take a relaxing crap without you wondering what she is doing in there.
Such a suspicious mind not only makes one become jealous it makes them become filled with obsessive mania, why do such to yourself and to her.
You had better appreciate it while it exist, and you need to realize that life offers no one a guarantee on anything. What makes you think you are due one? IF she or you became disabled tomorrow, then what? If she gets tired of your crap and wants to leave, are you going to try and "harm her", are you going to try and harm yourself"?
Obsessions bring on depressions, and depressions make people do crazy and sometimes irrational and deadly things. So, get a grip on yourself and stop "obsessing over nothing".
You exhibit the reason so many women are so reluctant to share sex with men including those they want to be with long term, because ... such men, think soon as he puts his thing in her, that he owns her past, present and future life. Get off your high horse and holier than thou delusions and get down to the reality of simply appreciating the woman thinks enough of you to want to share her time and life with you.
You are sounding like you'd be pissed off with her finger, if she told you she previously masturbated. That's about how silly, your attitude is.
We've tried to help you. Either do it or don't but quit coming here and posting the same old stuff. Go back and read your other threads from beginning to end if you want to see it again.
Now I think it's over we just had a huge fight! I got jealous and freaked out about something that happened (NOT about my cousin)! But I know I'm right to be mad at her! Anyway now she gives me the "silent treatment " but i won't chase her, not anymore! I won't be dating a ****ing ***** anymore!
Now I think it's over we just had a huge fight! I got jealous and freaked out about something that happened (NOT about my cousin)! But I know I'm right to be mad at her! Anyway now she gives me the "silent treatment " but i won't chase her, not anymore! I won't be dating a ****ing ***** anymore!
Meh... you love the drama. You'll be back together in no time.
Update:
Friends, last night I was thinking to myself Why I haven't done anything? I didn't make a decision yet. Why i'm taking so long? Why i'm so slow to make decisions sometimes? For example, I took a year to divorce my ex wife! I know this relationship with my girlfriend is going to end, I just know but i didn't break up yet. It feels i'm stuck. This thing with my cousin will never get out of my head, so i'll never forget and this will always bothers me! Maybe I'm afraid of feeling lonely after breaking up? I need strength to make a decision!! Help me guys, I need help!
OMG - so you're not a young kid with this issue? You're a full-on adult who has been MARRIED AND DIVORCED? Yes, therapy is in order.
Now I think it's over we just had a huge fight! I got jealous and freaked out about something that happened (NOT about my cousin)! But I know I'm right to be mad at her! Anyway now she gives me the "silent treatment " but i won't chase her, not anymore! I won't be dating a ****ing ***** anymore!
Thanks for making a public record of your psychosis- Hopefully you don't hurt or kill someone, but if there is not some growing up within your mind, you are definitely on the pathway of being dangerous. if you can't accept a woman being a person and individual, then you may need to buy a blow up doll, because this need and want to control, regulate and wipe out the history of a woman, is something that is the making of a psychosis.
Quote:
What Is Psychosis?
Psychosis is a serious mental disorder characterized by thinking and emotions that are so impaired, that they indicate that the person experiencing them has lost contact with reality.
People who are psychotic have false thoughts (delusions) and/or see or hear things that are not there (hallucinations). These are referred to as “positive” symptoms; “negative” symptoms like loss of motivation and social withdrawal can also occur.
These experiences can be frightening and may cause people who are suffering from psychosis to hurt themselves or others. It is important to see a doctor right away if you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of psychosis.
Psychosis affects three out of every 100 people. It is most likely to be diagnosed in young adults, but psychosis can happen to anyone.
God Forbid such event, that this public record will not need to be used by the authorities if/when you finally go off and do something crazy or harm or kill someone, all because you can't control their lives.
She would be wise to get a legal restraining order against you ASAP !!!
You exhibit the same thing people say, "after someone has harmed another", and that is: someone should have addressed it !!!!!.
You have a problem with women and their sexuality, but don't want to admit to it. It's likely you judge women solely by their sexual lives, and not see them as a whole person. That ancient puritanical madness has driven many people crazy. The inability to see a woman as a whole person, including sexual, unless you think you can control them in their mobility, emotionally and sexually as if you are seeking to have a private puppet.
Maybe you being put on a "watch list" might be suitable to protect this woman or some other woman.
Last edited by Chance and Change; 04-17-2016 at 12:40 PM..
Are you getting the gist that you have some issue that you need to seek some type of help with.
You've stated that women can't be trusted and said quite a few things, trying to sum all women into your twisted concept of what is a woman RED FLAG!!!!!! You seem to have a problem respecting and appreciating and regarding them as being individual people who is a person in her own right to be.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 04-17-2016 at 08:04 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
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