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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy
So, that begs the question, how did the rest of the date go? In my mind, that's just as much a red flag as the woman who goes in with the sense of entitlement that you have to open the door for her.
Oh, the food was good (she wanted to split, I didn't refuse), drinks good, invited in when I dropped her off, but declined. Just was not feeling it. It wasn't that comment in particular, but just an overall vibe with her. Lack of eye contact. No smiling. Actually, being invited in kind of tripped me up. I just wanted to go home at that point and see who was still up and have some fun.
Oh, the food was good (she wanted to split, I didn't refuse), drinks good, invited in when I dropped her off, but declined. Just was not feeling it. It wasn't that comment in particular, but just an overall vibe with her. Lack of eye contact. No smiling. Actually, being invited in kind of tripped me up. I just wanted to go home at that point and see who was still up and have some fun.
You did the right thing, she wasn't the right woman for you. Surprised you got an invite in considering how you described the date, but who knows what she was thinking.
I just don't know why so many things have to BE a THING... Opening doors? Really? I can open my own door. Some men beat me to it. I don't inform them that I am capable of opening a door. Frigging OF COURSE I AM. I simply say, "thank you." Just like if someone is coming behind me into a store, I hold the door open for them. They can either walk through, or catch it. A few seconds spent simply being courteous. Should someone do this for me, I say, "thank you."
All of this is really basic manners, and expectation/entitlement shouldn't really come into it. I don't judge anyone for NOT holding/opening a door. I thank them if they do. Why is it a THING, in dating, like who is paying for dinner, my word. I feel like I've got to express to and convince men as quickly as possible when I start seeing them, that I am really laid back and I don't care if he does this or that, as long as it's not some big freaking deal.
Pay for dinner or don't. Open doors or don't. But if you send me a pic of your junk, expect me to facepalm and laugh at you. "Bait" or not... By the by, the question was asked in an "ask a woman" forum on another site not long ago, how we ladies feel about D-pics. Almost universally we said that they did nothing for us, or were offensive, and the only time we'd want to see that is if we're already VERY interested in the man it's attached to.
OP...I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I think that OLD brings out the most superficial and often unflattering sides of human beings in the dating world. You might consider finding social networking opportunities in person instead. Good luck to you!
Hi all.
I just turned 50. I am divorced after 28 years. I've been on a few dating sites including senior sites. I am having a problem. Seems no matter what age the "men" are, all they want is a booty call, even on the christian sites.
I go to church and everyone is married. Now, I'm not saying I'm a bible beater, far from it. I thought maybe I might find an old fashioned man, with respect for the female race.
I'm tired of being asked to send certain pics of myself and who in God's name thinks a woman wants to see a pic of a guy's junk? Whatever happened to some mystery and actually getting to know each other first?
I am at a total loss. Where did the respect go?
What are they doing to indicate they want a booty call? I mean, yeah, if it's offered, most guys want sex, that's natural. /lol
But usually they go through the motions of *romance.*
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I'm not picky at all. By saying respect, I was not referring to being at a man's beck and call' I mean DATING, the man opens the car door, etc.
And those who said sending a pic of their junk are those that I described as looking for a booty call or an STD. I assume those that send those have either stolen the pics off the internet or are so ugly that's all they have.
I don't want a hookup. I want a caring man who I can look ugly with in our sweats on Sunday morning, go brush our teeth, make love, then snuggle butt to butt and go back to sleep. If he has a gut, even better. I just want to be loved.
they are out there. Just give it some time and go to places where you can meet new people.
Remember Women's Liberation happened. You're liberated. Women are free to have sex like a man, and some do. That's the kind of women a lot of men are looking for. On top of that, you're newly divorced. Some men see that as a woman who is out of cut loose and have some fun. Some men will specifically target recently divorce women, as they consider them fresh meat and an easy mark.
The movers and shakers of the society convinced everyone that sexual freedom is the way to "true happiness", so many women and men are out trying to find it. Sorry you prefer the old fashioned ways, but that's going to be hard to find. Plus, many men at your age are turn off to women, having been rejected by so many, or trashed in divorce. They don't feel the need for women anymore. Good Luck. You're going to need it.
My husband growls if I start to open a door. It cracks me up, but I love that trait in him.
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I'm thankful that I'm not dating in recent times.... the whole OLD world seems messed up.
When I was single in late 30's early 40's I never even looked at online dating, there are plenty of men out in the real world you can meet. There are plenty of women out in the real world you can meet but someone has to be brave enough to take the first step forward, introduce themselves and go from there.
No photos required when you are in real life.
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