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To me, baggage makes you incapable of trusting that you can be successful in relationships.
Gotta rep you there!
My ex was in a very abusive marriage (her first husband) for 23 years. She left him for me. Unbeknownst to me when we first got together, she carried a lot of bottled-up rage, anger, and hopelessness. This culminated in our constant arguing and fighting. I tried to help her - even getting therapy (for us both) - to no avail. She kept telling me "I don't want to separate/divorce...I want us to stay together" I didn't want to separate either, but she just refused any/all help sought. She left me in 2014, saying that she "needed to go back home" to her home state.
I don't think any of that qualifies as "emotional baggage". Most of it is simply selfish behavior.
Baggage is more like carrying worries, fears, and paranoia about events in former relationships into new relationships when there is no cause for such.
For example, if an ex was untrustworthy, would you automatically start checking your new boyfriend's phone, computer, or pockets for evidence he is cheating? No way.
That's baggage.
I agree with you.
I found virtually none of my traits in that list, but anyone who has read some of my posts in this forum can tell you that I have some issues to say the least.
What about things like being jealous of previous boyfriends or being paranoid regarding her existing male friends or cheating to preemptively strike the first blow or feeling that you aren't good enough or omitting large sections of your past to avoid criticism (real or perceived)?
Never having been in a relationship I would never carry any baggage into a relationship when/if it happens. I will say that Being single my entire 29 years on this earth has allowed me to get to know myself and do some self-realization. A downside some would say is that I am also very set in my ways on multiple topics (no kids, no marriage also throw in at this point no-cohabitating). But I am who I am.
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