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Ok. So I guess your waiting it out then? Good luck!
Ikr, honestly I wish those stupid practices would die off.
It would save a lot of people regret and heart ache.
Confidence is the key. I would never consider getting a dating coach or taking pointers from so called "experts" it's a waste of time and money. Folks act like it's so HARD to be straight up and let someone know they are interested. If they don't like you, oh freaking well. It's frustrating and discouraging knowing that some folks the OPs age still do stuff like that.
The problem with these dating courses is that they dont let you, be you. They are trying to make you do things that you dont normally do. When in doubt, just be yourself, because ultimately, thats who you are, and thats who whoever is interested in you will ultimately be with.
Ikr, honestly I wish those stupid practices would die off.
It would save a lot of people regret and heart ache.
Confidence is the key. I would never consider getting a dating coach or taking pointers from so called "experts" it's a waste of time and money. Folks act like it's so HARD to be straight up and let someone know they are interested. If they don't like you, oh freaking well. It's frustrating and discouraging knowing that some folks the OPs age still do stuff like that.
Well there are plenty of people that are old enough to know better that play games and rules when dating. I don't follow the rules but I did use to play a lot of games when I dated. I was kind of a b****, but I've evolved since my last relationship ended because I played too many games and eventually got what I deserved.
If the Op believes that the "rules" work than that's on her. I don't ask men out either... I know that the type of man I WANT is one that has the balls to come to me and ask me on a date if he wants me. I like go getters--men that go for what they want. The most I will do is give him just the right amount of clues that I'm interested(eye contact, wave, smile, have a conversation, flirt etc) if after all the signs are there the man still doesn't ask a woman out than the assumption usually is he isn't interested or interested enough. Apparently the OP has been told that the guy is interested by her work friends, so hey maybe he does like her and just is afraid?
I don't know... I think at this point the only way she can get anything going the way she wants is if she does something... Waiting on him hasn't done anything for her, hence why she started this thread. But I digress.
The OP seems to be convinced she knows what she's doing and that she knows how he feels. I don't know what the point of starting this thread was, everyone gave her advice and she's been defensive and basically told us all that she's right and that we aren't and that she's going to just wait it out. So s*** let her. LOL.
I guess time will tell how long she waits before she moves on????
You're fully convinced, whether you admit it or not, that he IS interested in you. You even have EXPERTS and friends you've emailed all saying HE IS, and you're arguing with those of us who say otherwise.
No i'm not fully convinced, I am just taking everything into account and keeping an open mind. Nobody knows but him, so for anyone to tell me if he likes me or not, it's just a guess based on their own experiences.
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And you are already flirting with him. You just aren't putting your money where your mouth is and closing the deal.
Huh? How am I flirting with him?
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It sure beats sitting around wondering and bugging my friends about it.
This is the kind of thing that friends are for, why would anyone feel like you're bugging them? You must have unsupportive friends. Talking about it with other people also gives you new perspectives and ideas and insights.
Ikr, honestly I wish those stupid practices would die off.
It would save a lot of people regret and heart ache.
Confidence is the key. I would never consider getting a dating coach or taking pointers from so called "experts" it's a waste of time and money. Folks act like it's so HARD to be straight up and let someone know they are interested. If they don't like you, oh freaking well. It's frustrating and discouraging knowing that some folks the OPs age still do stuff like that.
Most men are hard wired to chase women. Once the chase is done and the woman starts holding on too tight, they lose interest. Not all men, of course, so don't say I'm generalizing. But everyone knows men hate feeling smothered having clingy desperate women on their back all the time. Dating coaches talk to these people and find out what they like and what they don't like, these methods are tried and true, otherwise they wouldn't have so many success stories. I doubt anyone even clicked on that website, but it said that dating coach is to thank for 61 engagements in the last 2 years.
The problem with these dating courses is that they dont let you, be you. They are trying to make you do things that you dont normally do. When in doubt, just be yourself, because ultimately, thats who you are, and thats who whoever is interested in you will ultimately be with.
Acting like you arent will just **** people off.
Well this leaves people like me single. The reason why it's called coaching is because they help people better themselves. You wouldn't tell someone with a mental illness not to see a therapist, because they wouldn't be letting that person be themselves. Everyone should try to improve themselves. My area that needs improvement happens to be my sexual/flirty side.
I don't know... I think at this point the only way she can get anything going the way she wants is if she does something... Waiting on him hasn't done anything for her, hence why she started this thread. But I digress.
The OP seems to be convinced she knows what she's doing and that she knows how he feels. I don't know what the point of starting this thread was, everyone gave her advice and she's been defensive and basically told us all that she's right and that we aren't and that she's going to just wait it out. So s*** let her. LOL.
I guess time will tell how long she waits before she moves on????
I asked for advice because I thought maybe out there somewhere was someone who knew a definite test to see if a guy is scared of rejection or just doesn't like you. And I will move on once I can get myself to actually flirt with him and throw out stronger clues I want to hang out, this will probably happen by Valentines Day and then if nothing happens there, I will have my answer.
...in fact the first time we found out how much we had in common, we were both obviously excited, and it was a really fun conversation.
We had chemistry, we were joking around with each other,
We can go from 'hi' to talking about the meaning of life within 1 minute.
And to convey my values, I rarely flirt (maybe subtly),
...like when he said "...we'll hang out sometime..." I was sure to smile and say "yeah!" so he knew I wouldn't reject him.
(I said I was interested in learning a hobby of his and he said he'd show me).
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Originally Posted by GaiaGoddess
I asked him if he wanted to draw up my tattoo design ...
ALL of this ^^^ is flirting, especially since you're both AT WORK when it's happening. What you're talking about has nothing to do with why you're (supposed to be) there. Even the stuff I didn't quote about your standing there ignoring him when he's right next to you is flirting. Just because you aren't batting your eyes and twirling your hair doesn't mean you aren't. Any time you do something deliberately with him in mind is flirting.
You have some rigid ideas about the opposite sex, and I am saying this as a 48-year-old woman. A "definite test" to see if he likes you???? All that dating coach stuff is just a way to keep your mind busy and feel like you're making progress when you'r not with anyone. It's a racket that really only benefits the coaches. 61 engagements? I guess if engagement is your goal, great. How many have gotten married and stayed married? 2 years isn't long enough to prove success to me.
The thing is ... there is flirting to pass the time and there's flirting to get somewhere. The whole concept of a "work wife" came from the idea of someone of the opposite sex who you work with and with whom you share a close platonic bond.
This ^^^ makes it very hard for people, like you, who admittedly have a pattern of developing feelings for guys who end up not being interested in you "that way."
It's not easy, and navigating it requires a very high level of self-awareness and emotional regulation.
Why do people try to date coworkers? That's a disaster in the making if it doesn't work out. Also, why is a woman in her 40's playing kid games like a teenager? That's why this guy isn't asking her out. He wants a woman who can open her mouth and can communicate like an adult.
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