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I met a man on a dating website. We were talking for a couple weeks before we met and we really hit it off. He was incredibly eager to talk with me and meet me. My impressions of him were that he was very genuine, sensitive, highly intelligent, funny, and clearly good looking from his pictures.
Our first date magical and all of the time to follow for 4 weeks. We spent a lot of time together. He told me and showed me that he was very invested in the relationship and was very emotionally intimate with me. I was incredibly happy with him, and he seemed he was with me as well, as he said he couldn’t stop smiling at work and even his colleagues commented. Toward the end, he gave me a key to his apartment, I had a toothbrush there, PJs. All signs pointed to the beginning of a very promising relationship. I told him I would be taking a trip abroad in the coming weeks and he said he would “try his best” with the long distance. (The business trip would be 2-4 weeks). He gave me every reason to believe he would keep in touch. When the time came, he drove me to the airport, told me he would miss me and to contact him when I got in, and was very warm.
As soon as I arrived at my destination, he was super distant. I texted him "do you want to talk tonight?" and there was no response until I messaged him 24 hours later that his lack of response was hurtful. (I saw on whatssap he had been online a lot during that 24 hours and had read my message and not responded. Our time difference wasn't a lot). When we finally got on the phone, he didn't apologize or mention it. Then, he disappeared after I texted him again-- this time for 36 hours. I was completely dumbfounded. Finally, I gave him one last “chance” to have regular contact by asking “Call me when you have a chance?” and he didn’t contact in any way for 2 days (when he is on whatsapp all the time). This was bizarre for me, because for a month I had experienced daily calls and texts. With a broken heart, I wrote him a message saying that I hadnt expected this, that I couldn’t do this "kind" of long distance, and that maybe we can connect when I return. He responded within 3 minutes saying “this long distance is hard for me too” without saying anything about meeting again when I come back. It has been a week and no message from him so its safe to assume this is over and he doesn’t want the relationship, even when I return.
I am left feeling completely dumbfounded and devastated. I am not a naiive woman or easily fooled. He gave me all the signs when we were together that he wanted to continue the relationship. If he didn’t want to continue the relationship, I don’t understand why he would have driven me to the airport (he offered) or the point of the last 2 times seeing each other (no sex was involved- we went to the theater and then he was sick the other time)- so I don’t think he was using me for sex for one month, as our relationship consisted of a lot more. If there was something that happened at the end of our time together before I left that made him disinterested, he never showed it and continued seeing me to the last moment when he drove me to the airport.
It seemed like he decided when I was in the airplane that he didn’t want the relationship anymore because he disappeared day 1 of my trip. We both invested a lot and this seems bizarre to me. I haven’t called him to ask him why he did this, because he already basically ignored me for one week, and then at the break up didn’t mention meeting again so I don’t want to reach out again. I am broken hearted, because I haven’t liked anyone this much in years. I am wondering why he would have done this.
He did come on strong at the beginning. Before our "break up" I told him the date I would be back, (2 days ago) and he didn't even respond to that, but something else minor I texted him. He must know that I am back (if he paid attention to that message) but I have not contacted him.
I have no idea why anyone would do this. It makes NO sense.
His saying "he would try his best with the distance" is probably a clue, like he is the type who has to be in constant contact.
Yea it is weird, but I mean it's not like she was moving, she was only going on a business trip for a couple weeks, surely anybody would be able to handle that.
Yea it is weird, but I mean it's not like she was moving, she was only going on a business trip for a couple weeks, surely anybody would be able to handle that.
He did come on strong at the beginning. Before our "break up" I told him the date I would be back, (2 days ago) and he didn't even respond to that, but something else minor I texted him. He must know that I am back (if he paid attention to that message) but I have not contacted him.
If I'm not mistaken though he did tell you to contact him when you got in. I understand why you'd be hesitant to that at this point, but at the same time I feel like he does sort of owe you a better explanation than saying he doesn't do well with long distance.
This sounds very common from what I've read here. If the guy is too good to be true, then it probably is. I think one should be cautious with online dating.
He found someone else and realised he's not that into you.
Move on.
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