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I had 2 dates from a dating app with a woman. She was nice, conversation was ok, wasn't really attracted to her. Sometimes if the chemistry is strong enough and i have fun, it can be enough for me to pursue someone that i dont initially find attractive but i just wasnt feeling it with this girl.
So she texts me after the date and i become honest with her, hey i just want to be friends, sorry not feeling the chemistry. She ends up asking me questions implying I am similar as her and have a hard time of letting people down and sometimes its hard to feel chemistry after 2 dates and needing to be more open etc. I could have just ghosted on her and not said anything but told her i wanted to be open and tell her how i felt. She then said yeah i didnt really feel the chemistry on fire... i'm wondering if she is just saying this stuff to soften the blow to herself?
I dont believe in wasting someones time, and if shes looking for a serious relationship and im not really that attracted, even if we have a bunch in common, why continue to go on dates and hope i feel more attraction down the line? After the end of both the first and second date, I didnt have the desire to kiss her or was excited to see her again. So now I'm questioning myself a bit...should i have continued to date her even if i didnt feel the attraction after the first couple of dates ?
Hmmm how many mediocre dates are you willing to go on? If it's a no it's really pretty strong for me instantly. If I don't feel that strong repellent then I will let it continue. But if it's a no it's a no. Why put yourself through that tortue?!
Hmmm how many mediocre dates are you willing to go on? If it's a no it's really pretty strong for me instantly. If I don't feel that strong repellent then I will let it continue. But if it's a no it's a no. Why put yourself through that tortue?!
exactly, i didnt even initially want to meet up, after a while the conversation wasnt really fun or flirty it was just like talking to a friend u havent seen. And the dates went pretty much like that. I wanted to give it a date or two to see if my attraction grew and i cant say it did. I want to be excited about the person i date.
I had 2 dates from a dating app with a woman. She was nice, conversation was ok, wasn't really attracted to her. Sometimes if the chemistry is strong enough and i have fun, it can be enough for me to pursue someone that i dont initially find attractive but i just wasnt feeling it with this girl.
So she texts me after the date and i become honest with her, hey i just want to be friends, sorry not feeling the chemistry. She ends up asking me questions implying I am similar as her and have a hard time of letting people down and sometimes its hard to feel chemistry after 2 dates and needing to be more open etc. I could have just ghosted on her and not said anything but told her i wanted to be open and tell her how i felt. She then said yeah i didnt really feel the chemistry on fire... i'm wondering if she is just saying this stuff to soften the blow to herself?
I dont believe in wasting someones time, and if shes looking for a serious relationship and im not really that attracted, even if we have a bunch in common, why continue to go on dates and hope i feel more attraction down the line? After the end of both the first and second date, I didnt have the desire to kiss her or was excited to see her again. So now I'm questioning myself a bit...should i have continued to date her even if i didnt feel the attraction after the first couple of dates ?
You want to find a relationship.
You go on a date.
You aren't feeling it. Not even in the slightest bit. If you're not excited to see her, it's not going to get better.
You thank them for their time, wish them well, and that's it.
I dont believe in wasting someones time, and if shes looking for a serious relationship and im not really that attracted, even if we have a bunch in common, why continue to go on dates and hope i feel more attraction down the line?
You're right. The chemistry just isn't there. Good on you for letting her down easy.
I agree with you OP. I applaud you for even going on a second date, coz if the chemistry is not there on the first date, then for me, there won't even be a second date.
I need to be excited about someone, otherwise if I've already decided that I'ld never be able to kiss them, there's no point. Props for not ghosting. That takes courage!
I think it is better to be honest.. I have done this, myself. If there is not something about the person inside OR outside that draws you, or are turned off, there is no point.
I am just curious, what made you feel the desire to meet her in the first place?
I dated mostly during a time when people initially met directly, not online. I also recall realizing something, when in the workplace for instance and seeing someone who I may not have noticed initially on the surface, I would find with familiarity, could become more appealing, due to interacting and regularly observing their actions, manner or conduct. Similarly, ones I thought were initially attractive, can turn into something altogether unappealing with familiarity.
I believe ultimately, this is more in which people can and should form an actual interest in another. It is too bad that it has become meeting others just based mostly upon photos, which may be inaccurate depictions. Then there is time spent preparing to go meet strangers repeatedly, having formed some idea of them beforehand, only to have it not work.
I think another way for people to meet should be invented.. not like a Bar, no alcohol involved...but a place where people would regularly see each other, play games and chat, forming familiarities and friendships with those they end up feeling compatibilities with. It could be discovered how though one may notice another at first glance, they would not necessarily be someone to form a bond with.
But..who am I kidding? Men are motivated only by an image and wanting to get ____. People will continue doing this .. and how well is it working out if there is an attraction, becoming physically involved, only to find out they were not right for you as a person anyway? Oh, that's right...doesn't matter.. because it's apparently all about the "hump and dump", from what I've read here. And doesn't sound like it is working out so well for the women, from what I've seen here. What else is new?
I think it is better to be honest.. I have done this, myself. If there is not something about the person inside OR outside that draws you, or are turned off, there is no point.
I am just curious, what made you feel the desire to meet her in the first place?
I dated mostly during a time when people initially met directly, not online. I also recall realizing something, when in the workplace for instance and seeing someone who I may not have noticed initially on the surface, I would find with familiarity, could become more appealing, due to interacting and regularly observing their actions, manner or conduct. Similarly, ones I thought were initially attractive, can turn into something altogether unappealing with familiarity.
I believe ultimately, this is more in which people can and should form an actual interest in another. It is too bad that it has become meeting others just based mostly upon photos, which may be inaccurate depictions. Then there is time spent preparing to go meet strangers repeatedly, having formed some idea of them beforehand, only to have it not work.
I think another way for people to meet should be invented.. not like a Bar, no alcohol involved...but a place where people would regularly see each other, play games and chat, forming familiarities and friendships with those they end up feeling compatibilities with. It could be discovered how though one may notice another at first glance, they would not necessarily be someone to form a bond with.
But..who am I kidding? Men are motivated only by an image and wanting to get ____. People will continue doing this .. and how well is it working out if there is an attraction, becoming physically involved, only to find out they were not right for you as a person anyway? Oh, that's right...doesn't matter.. because it's apparently all about the "hump and dump", from what I've read here. And doesn't sound like it is working out so well for the women, from what I've seen here. What else is new?
I spent time talking to her and wanted to give it a chance ? Not sure what your agenda is, my post says nothing about humping and dumping, in fact i never kissed her.. If you want to make a new thread be my guest
While I think your honesty was admirable, I find it funny that you're now questioning yourself AFTER she is honest with you in exactly the same way.
And no, she wasn't trying to soften the blow. She was being honest with you.
This is how I see it, also.
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