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Hello everyone! This is the first time I've ever done this so take it easy on me. I am a 30 year old woman who has been in a relationship with a 35 year old man for 3 1/2 months. Things have been going ok but there has been a lot of tension between us the past month. I have been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. I have not started meds for this yet because I need to speak with my psychiatrist about a med change since I am only on an anti depressant that does not help at all with my severe mood swings & severe anxiety. My boyfriend has some mental health issues as well, he has severe anxiety which he takes meds for this, depression, & ptsd. About a month a go his grandfather passed away whom he was very close to. Things have been a little strained since this. I have really tried to be supportive through this tough time for him but with how my mental health is it has been very hard for me. I have bad insecurities which I will be working with my therapist on & I obsess over everything! It's my anxiety to blame for this...... Lately I have been obsessing over sex. I want it ALL THE TIME. Lol. He does not want it all the time & has decreased to him now not wanting it at all. I know I have pressured him into feeling like he has to have sex with me which I am very ashamed of. He has also been sick a lot these past 3 months we have been together, he's sick right now & has been for the past 2 weeks. He also has started back school which he hates & can't wait until he gets his financial aid money so he can drop his classes. He is worried about doing well at his job. He doesn't really like his job that much & wishes he got paid more. His grandmother hasn't been doing so good since his grandfather passed away & they think she will be passing away sometime soon. He lives with his parents due to them having financial problems so he helps them with bills & he worries about them. We had been talking about him moving in before his grandfather passed away, he had brought it up, not me. Then after his grandfather passed he became more distant from me & would be hot & cold towards me. He never wants to hardly touch me & now he doesn't want to have sex at all. We talked about this yesterday & he said he feels numb with everything. I told him that maybe he needed a break from this relationship to get his stuff together. We agreed to take a break for some space so we both can get our heads right. I know I need this because I've become the clingy gf no one wants but I'm hurt, angry & confused all at the same time. My mental health doesn't help with this. I just could use some advice on how to deal with all this.
Sorry, but it's like this already? Not even four months? You're not right for each other.
Focus on your treatment. You need to get your mental health under control. It's not fair to expect someone you have only known a few months to ride this out with you. He's probably going to break up with you, anyway. Let him go and focus on yourself and your healing for while.
A break is a good thing.
You both need to get yourselves in a better, more stable place and need supportive people around you while you do.
Neither of you have much to offer each other in that regard right now.
A break is a good thing.
You both need to get yourselves in a better, more stable place and need supportive people around you while you do.
Neither of you have much to offer each other in that regard right now.
Thank you so much for replying!! I know this is a good thing. It just scares me. He said that we're still together but that we both need to take some time & space to get our heads right. I think we were moving way too fast anyway. I think it was scaring both us. I just need to stay very busy & get back to the independent woman I was when he met me
Hello everyone! This is the first time I've ever done this so take it easy on me. I am a 30 year old woman who has been in a relationship with a 35 year old man for 3 1/2 months. Things have been going ok but there has been a lot of tension between us the past month. I have been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder.
I know I need this because I've become the clingy gf no one wants but I'm hurt, angry & confused all at the same time. My mental health doesn't help with this. I just could use some advice on how to deal with all this.
Bolded Don't be so hard on yourself. Many of your behaviors can be the symptoms of your condition.
I've dated a guy with the similar diagnosis, and he was super clingy. Later on, after doing some online research, I realized that he dealt with racing thoughts, anxiety, depression, mood swing, etc. He viewed me as emotional support and he thought I could fill the void in his heart. He didn't know better, and in all fairness, I didn't know either.
I would suggest that you put yourself first, by doing so, focus on positive things in life. Try some alternative as well traditional treatments to manage your condition. Many people can lead normal life with the diagnosis. This is NOTHING but a suggestion, dating shouldn't be your priority because you might end up getting hurt when you are emotionally fragile. The normal emotional ups and downs will make things even harder to cope with when you are dealing with bipolar. I think you two made a very mature adult decision by taking a break.
UPDATE!!
Thank you so much everyone for your advice!! He called me tonight & we had a long talk & decided we aren't on a break anymore but we are going to slow things down a little. He was going to be moving in with me & now that's completely out & we're only going to be seeing each other on the weekends. Which I am completely fine with!! This will give me time during the week to work on myself more & become that strong independent woman I used to be!! I feel a lot better now that there are some guidelines laid out. 😊
No way in HELL should you move in with someone you've only dated 3.5 months.
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