Originally Posted by Anti_Socialite
I'm 22 years old, never been kissed virgin. I'm not upset about this per say, but I wish I could be with someone. It's not that I'm not attractive or have a bad personality, it's just I have this fear of getting closer to someone. I'm aware of the problem, but I just don't know what to do about it.
I have no problem with men being attracted to me, having crushes on me, or hitting on me. But when they try to take it the next level (actually try to date me, or want to hook up) I get very uncomfortable. I turn into a child with an, "ew, yucky sex" mentality. Like I said before, I have no problem with men finding me attractive, but when I realize they have sexual desires for me, it freaks me out. I love fantasizing about sex and I play with myself from time to time, but when I'm not daydreaming, and actually think about the act it truly freaks me out. I thought I was asexual, but I'm perfectly attracted to men.
I'm like the definition of, "You can look, but can't touch"
I don't have a history of sexual abuse, but I do have my fair share of experience with teasing and bullying (as any child) and sometimes I wonder if that played a part in my fear of being open, and someone actually "knowing me". The idea of belonging to someone scares me, and I don't know why. My parents have a seemingly happy marriage, and have been together for years. I don't have daddy issues, my dad's my BFF, my amigo, my homie for life!
I turn into a little girl when the topic of sex is brought up, but then I realize I'm 22 years old, this behavior is no longer cute. It's getting into the weird territory. My peers enjoy sex and talking about with no precaution, and here I am going "ew, boyz r totally gross" like a 9 year old. I think I'm just not mature in that stage maybe, because I'm very adult in other topics.
I get awkward around guys I find attractive, or men that blatantly find me attractive. The only guys I like are the ones that are gay, and the ones that don't seem interested. I don't have a problem gushing over hunky male stars , but I clam up when it comes to real every day men. I also hate flirting, and never know what to actually do or say spur of the moment.
How do I fix this issue I seem to have?
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Excellent Advice
