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I don't know what you mean by this but DO NOT EVER assume to say something about my child! I guess as a self professed child hater you are not familiar with mother instincts. My claws come out and my back goes straight and I fight! I do not care what you do with your life or who you date and it's good you don't want children. My son has ADHD...I don't consider him special needs at all. He is one of the smartest, brightest kids in his grade and is also an exceptional athlete for his age. Just b/c you read a bunch of crap on the internet or the news tells about how horrible all children with ADD/ADHD are, don't assume you know anything about it. Just b/c you can't see someone on these forums, don't think it gives you the right to say anything you feel like saying. If you hate kids, good for you. But don't ever make blanket comments like that without explaining yourself.
Don't let this poster get under your skin - for a self-professed child opposer, they seem to see fit to browse and post in the PARENTING forum of all places. Delusional much? This person is obviously very confused or looking for a rise based on what short posting history they have - not worth your time to say the least. Also extremely ignorant and insensitive comments coming from them - as well, trying to steer the post off-topic by mentioning special needs children.
Ignorance is bliss, let them bask in their bliss. I somehow doubt whoever carrot top is would ever have the guts to say a damn thing in ANY parent's face that they seem to feel free to chuck around on the internet.
I have 16 years of Catholic school (through my B.S. degree) and still attend Mass fairly regularly. I date both Catholic and all Protestant women and even some raised in either of those faiths that are nominal but non-practicing.
It's because the age is NOT there. I've stated elsewhere in this forum that I would have wanted children at an earlier age, up to, say 35. So I doubt the 35 to early 40s set of women who focused on their careers want children, either. I've also stated elsewhere on this forum that the Catholic church doesn't pay for them. That whole Catholic "crank them out" mentality worked fine for Little House on the Prairie days and not for today's urban living. Also, there is no religion that suits me 100%, I don't want to be unchurched, so Catholic it is. I accept about 95+ % of what they have to say.
The girl who posted appears to be in her late 20s. That's too young, though she does sound like a sweet lady.
Boy, this whole "refusal to procreate" thing really gets women's claws out....* you know, that cat hissing sound* Accept that people have their checklist...you women do too. But the fact that the checklist says NO to children is something that you have to keep rebutting. As a professional who has a lot of education and a professional license under my belt, I really don't need the "but...but.." from someone I don't know that might have taken the path of least resistance....Thanks.
I don't have my claws out and I don't hiss like a cat. Are you going to ask a Catholic woman to use birth control? You might be the one living in a dream land. Women are getting offended about the "no kids" part. Here is how you get over that little hurdle. Wanted: Professional, post menopausal, Catholic woman, hymen in tact a must.
I'm just playing with you. I'd never want to have a child out of wedlock. I'm collage educated and own my own business. I married late in life and would not want a child at this stage of my life.
Women are getting offended about the "no kids" part.
I married late in life and would not want a child at this stage of my life.
Why should they be offended? Some even choose not to have kids. Some know from early age that they CAN'T have kids and focus elsewhere. What's offensive about it?
You married late, but you didn't answer if you married a man with children? And, if so, just how great are those dynamics with the children? Are you playing "second fiddle" to a biological mom? Also, did you find any unmarried or childless men along the way that you could have considered or were considering you?
There is nothing offensive about any of this. It's a choice that is NOT being respected or has to be argued with.
Look at one of my earlier posts. IT SAYS IT ALL. Coming from a woman: "Not a jock?" Nah "Not tall enough so he exceeds me by 3 inches when I have heels?" Nah "Not a professional?" Nah
Why should they be offended? Some even choose not to have kids. Some know from early age that they CAN'T have kids and focus elsewhere. What's offensive about it?
You married late, but you didn't answer if you married a man with children? And, if so, just how great are those dynamics with the children? Are you playing "second fiddle" to a biological mom? Also, did you find any unmarried or childless men along the way that you could have considered or were considering you?
There is nothing offensive about any of this. It's a choice that is NOT being respected or has to be argued with.
Look at one of my earlier posts. IT SAYS IT ALL. Coming from a woman: "Not a jock?" Nah "Not tall enough so he exceeds me by 3 inches when I have heels?" Nah "Not a professional?" Nah
I rest my case.
I didn't marry a man with children. I have dated men with grown children. Never been a problem.
To the guy who doesn't date women with children, I say you are a weak man, not someone any woman with an ounce of brain would want.
Wait a minute. Why is it a sign of weakness to prefer dating someone who doesn't have children? As a woman "with an ounce of brain," I'd rather not date a man with young children. Because I don't want to purposefully throw myself into such a complicated situation, doesn't mean I'm weak.
Worse, divorced parents have this "Guilty Parent Syndrome" they go through, where they are always trying to be the better parent. It's like his wife told him he was horrible, so now he has to prove himself by overcompensating with the kids so they like him more.
Along similar lines -- lately, I've gotten men trying to flirt with me using their kids as bait. If I'm waiting in line next to them, they'll start bouncing them in their "baby bjorns" right under my nose, while smiling expectantly at me. Or if he's got toddlers in tow, he'll start talking in a conspicuous "look at what a good daddy I am" tone, while throwing glances at me. At first I thought I might be imagining it, but other women I know have noticed the same thing in the past few years.
I'm just not a baby person, but if they've got a cute cat or dog, then it's an entirely different story.
Along similar lines -- lately, I've gotten men trying to flirt with me using their kids as bait. If I'm waiting in line next to them, they'll start bouncing them in their "baby bjorns" right under my nose, while smiling expectantly at me. Or if he's got toddlers in tow, he'll start talking in a conspicuous "look at what a good daddy I am" tone, while throwing glances at me.
LOL Your not imagining it!! This happens ALL the time. I was gonna mention it in my earlier post, but didn't.
Well given that I am single & in my 30s it is more likely that I will wind up with a man who has children from a former marriage. Truthfully, I like children just fine, however it is not a dynamic that I would specifically seek out for several reasons:
1. The complicated issues surrounding the effect you have on these children (forget about if you become a major part of their lives & decide to break up - I'd feel horrible for potentially having a negative impact on them like that)
2. Having to always deal with their ex-wife
3. The financial aspects associated with it.
So am I opposed to it per se if I met a nice guy with children? No, but I realize that it can be a very complicated situation, which personally I take very seriously, so it isn't something that I would seek out. However, I also take very seriously the potential impact I could have on the children throughout their formative years as an extended member of their family, so it isn't a situation that I would feel quite as open to entering freely.
Along similar lines -- lately, I've gotten men trying to flirt with me using their kids as bait. If I'm waiting in line next to them, they'll start bouncing them in their "baby bjorns" right under my nose, while smiling expectantly at me. Or if he's got toddlers in tow, he'll start talking in a conspicuous "look at what a good daddy I am" tone, while throwing glances at me. At first I thought I might be imagining it, but other women I know have noticed the same thing in the past few years.
I'm just not a baby person, but if they've got a cute cat or dog, then it's an entirely different story.
I have a "childfree" (you know the kind of rabid don't want kids type) friend.
She calls this "baby stalking"! She is gay and says that both men and women do it her. I kind of know what she is talking about, especially some women who talk too loudly to their baby in public, then kind of look around for approval. Kind of wierd.
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