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Trouble figuring out this relationship...
Met a guy online on a dating site, nice interested in getting to know me, i gave him my number we texted. He started to call me sometimes several times a day and we got along fine. Couple days later he asks me to meet him for lunch which i agree to. We end up kissing and touching in the car, things get kind of heated...he has to go back to work so we part ways. Later he calls and asks if i can Come to his house that night. I said no because i dont want to just be his FB. He goes on to say that he doesn't want just that but that he doesnt want to rush into things and that he actually wants to get to know me plus have sex. After a while he convinces me to come over where he promises to not touch me. That promise quickly went out the window and we had amazing sex, he asked me to spend the night which i did. After that things continued about the same...Then something happened i stopped answering his calls he stopped trying we lost touch for a week or 2. He again starts calling me we agree on sexual exclusivity we hook up once more. After this he just stopped calling me and i didnt try either so we lost touch again for another 2 or 3 weeks. Fast forward again to him calling me and begging me to see him again i told him i wasnt interested in what he had to offer he again makes his case with not trying to go fast let me prove to you that this isnt all about sex. I agree to see him just not that night. When we finally did get together of course there was sex and cuddling then i left. He sends me the daily good morning text and he calls often not every day but often. I told him i didnt believe in falling in love fast and that he wasnt allowed to fall for me. We're both divorced with kids.
Just the first time did we go out in public the rest of the times its to his house after 10pm. ive spent the night 3 times the last one we didnt even have sex. Im having trouble now wondering if this has become a relationship since first off theres sexual exclusivity he says hes not seeing anyone but me that its hard enough to keep one woman happy. Second, the daily texts and phone calls you wouldnt waste this much energy on a booty call...maybe?
Third, hes been saying things I wish I could feel u next to me and you're mine. He also trusted me with his bank card didnt ask for a receipt after. Then there was just coming over and spending the night just to be with me, no sex. Is this becoming a relationship? Despite trying my hardest i find myself falling for him and im not sure i should.
It's a relationship, although one with very confusing boundaries.
You are both sending mixed signals. You are the one who is sending the most confusing signals, however. First you tell him you won't come over, then you do. You tell him you don't want to have sex because you don't want to be his FB, then you have sex. Then you let him touch you, even though he said he wouldn't (which makes him a liar and a manipulator). Then you stopped answering his calls, then answer again and have sex with him again.
You need to learn about boundaries and limits. The way you operate now, there's no way you can have a decent relationship with a decent guy.
I never said we were dating...clearly its been hook ups. I admit I've been very confused about him since the beginning, hence the mixed signals. We've seen each other 4 or 5 times of which only 2 didnt involve sex. Im just hoping that maybe this "relationship" can be salvaged.
I think Just a Guy hit it on the head. At this point the best thing for you to do is to have a talk with him and be clear about what you want from the relationship. Having sex early on isn't a deal breaker but it does make things more difficult since once the sex "genie" is out of the bottle, you can't really put it back.
Post like these make me so glad I'm happily married!
I never said we were dating...clearly its been hook ups. I admit I've been very confused about him since the beginning, hence the mixed signals. We've seen each other 4 or 5 times of which only 2 didn't involve sex. I'm just hoping that maybe this "relationship" can be salvaged.
I never said we were dating...clearly its been hook ups. I admit I've been very confused about him since the beginning, hence the mixed signals. We've seen each other 4 or 5 times of which only 2 didnt involve sex. Im just hoping that maybe this "relationship" can be salvaged.
You are a booty call. Period. Full stop.
This is not a relationship. There is nothing to salvage.
If sex is all you want, then continue with the hook ups. If you want a relationship, move on.
This is not a relationship. There is nothing to salvage.
If sex is all you want, then continue with the hook ups. If you want a relationship, move on.
^^^^^ I agree.
Which is why I asked the OP how is a hookup considered a relationship.
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