Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hello , this is my first post on here so far and am kind looking for wisdom and options!.
here i begin my story forgive me if its too long but i don't wanna skip things and make everything clear as possible .. I'm married person but my marriage been disaster past 3 ~ 4 years my wife is old than me by 21 years ( not complaining ) we fell in love about 12 years ago and we been together ever since gods was generous and we got a child of our own !! , however what we been through life requires sacrifices and so is marriage so i did all i could ( by all meanings ) to keep this marriage going , and after 10 years in my homeland i decided to move to my wife's homeland so she could have a better life and make friends and gain her old friends and have a better life and for our kids to have this better life as well , but also thought what we been through recently should heal and things should get better with this huge change and so we did and we moved on and now we have been for nearly a year in my wife's country but things didn't get any better but worse !, no emotions , i can't get a job , and my wife rejects all my requests to keep the only possible thing ( sex ) and make excuse's all the time and as usual i tried to be the wise person and talk to her softly without making a seen and start to ask what bothers her about me and what she think i need to change of myself and what she wants , etc.
however the answer was nothing but she cannot handle my smoke breath ( i smoke before we know eachother and so did she but she quit ) so i said i can brush my teeth and change my breath smell then she said it wont help it because its on your cloth and skin !!! and here i fell again into lame excuse's and others were like ( i need to cook first or i need to go shopping first ) and keeps me on hold and when she got the time she says not now so i asked if she still loves me she said yes ! so what is the problem she says she don't know ! , and suddenly my emotions were disappearing and fading away but my son means the world to me so i knew its over but i cannot handle leaving my child behind and she knew that and she even told me i don't mind if you slept with another !!!!! but we can stay together for the kid.!!
pretty much over for me like killing the last piece of love towards her and ended it with a single word and i couldn't believe it but we were fighting or anything it was just discussion between the 2 of us quietly so i wanted to confirm that and asked again do you mean that ! she said i swear i mean it and would never regret it and so i got even more shocked and asked again !!! and couldn't believe what i heard and she said yes and i promise i wont regret anything !!!! so i was shocked and went away from her sight and the other day i couldn't stand what this so i tried to ask this again in a different way and she said " you only wants me for sex " so i said what else i can offer " and she said a flower can't survive only on water " so i said but without water as well you give it no chance at all , and marriage isn't about sex but she refuse to go out or walk outside with me and our financial situation is terrible so i can't offer more at the moment and we both knows that and i told her that and she couldn't say anything about it !!. anyway live moves on and i already knew our fate and there's no escape from it , after so many attempts from me to ask her to change her ( attitude - anger - screaming - etc ) she give a lot of promises but didn't fulfill any of them so it seemed pretty obvious the end is near.
So i had a lot of free time and nothing to do but apply for jobs - watch movies - series - music etc , so i went to chat online because i couldn't make any friends because my wife's country doesn't have the same language and english is not nice to make a friendship with !
and one day out of nowhere i met that woman and we talked together and so on !! and told her my story and she told me hers and why not its online and we don't know eachother in real life so there's no harm of it ! , so we moved on she told me she's married and she's not happy for years but like my story she stays with her husband for her kids ! and somehow hearing others complain from the same wounds makes you feel sympathy upon yourself and them, so we decided to keep talking and then we decided to talk in voice cause it would save us more time than typing , and so the magic begin ( i know Online **** ) but am an adult and been through a lot but never like this ! so i felt that movement in my belly and that feelings i've missed in years !! but i was so scared of where it will go so i decided to end it up before its too late .. so i decided to talk and make sure its friendship and nothing more and she agreed about that , but somehow when we were done i couldn't stop thinking of her voice and her similar story but ahead of that how cruel her husband to her and how bad he treats her and so it turns my own pain but finding someone share's the same pain makes you feels strange, so i counted the hours till we can meet again and talk and like a teenager i had that rush and compassion and i didn't want anything but to know more about her and she said am an open book ask and i'll answer ( still in friendship zone ) so i asked and she lives somewhere far from me and hard to reach ! and she's older than me by like 11 years ( seems i fell for older women ) , and all the odds are against us ! but like the tied of the river you can't change its direction i couldn't pull back or do anything else but follow it and the other day i declared my feelings and i said i feel something about you and it gets me scared because am going through a lot and am not ready to get broken in a short time and i understand if you don't share any feelings towards me ( i would felt so happy acutely ) but she said she felt the same thing in her belly ( without i mention about mine ) and she got scared as well and since i declared it first she wasn't scared to admit it , and for the next days i couldn't think of anything else but this story in my brain !! am in terrible financial position and so is she and she cannot leave her kids and so am i , but for her maybe in 2 or 3 years she can and i need time as well to get myself up from underneath the water with my wife and financial situation ! and that was my brain and i wanted to confirm that and convince my heart by facts and wanted to explain these details and tell her its not possible to make any progress in this period and its not less than 2 or 3 years before anything can be possible ! so we better hold it and get ourselves together and keep some distance because it will only get worse ! and the pain is unbearable !! she said she couldn't ( last thing i wanted to hear ) same like fighting the tied its going and all she can do is follow it !! and here i am lost and confused and helpless and hopeless and in sorrow and i don't know what tomorrow has brought to me.
please do not mock me or my english ,And try to give me wisdom if you can and what you think is best to be done , i would be gladly to respond to any question in case it helps or any missing details i wasn't clear about.
What you wrote makes sense.
It a long post so it's going to take time for people to read and think over.
thanks for your point but better explain almost everything and let people understand my story than explain half and get misjudged, and am patient i can wait for an answer .
Your wife is probably in her 50's and her sex hormones have disappeared. That's the main reason she doesn't want sex. It's not your fault.
She wants the stability of marriage for your child. She said you can have discreet sex with someone else to fill your needs.
The woman you've been talking to online is not wiling to leave her husband for you so you're heartbroken.
On top of that, you've moved to your wife's country, can't find a job, and have no friends.
First and foremost, you need to be patient and continue looking for work. Stop fighting with your wife. There's no point. Apologize.
Be a steady presence in your child's life. Focus on your health. Try to stop smoking. You'll feel better. You might live longer, too. Get some exercise. Get away from the computer.
Stop communicating with your online girlfriend. It will only make you unhappy. It will ruin her life, too.
Find something to do where you can interact with other people. Volunteer. Help the elderly or homeless.
Your wife is probably in her 50's and her sex hormones have disappeared. That's the main reason she doesn't want sex. It's not your fault.
She wants the stability of marriage for your child. She said you can have discreet sex with someone else to fill your needs.
The woman you've been talking to online is not wiling to leave her husband for you so you're heartbroken.
On top of that, you've moved to your wife's country, can't find a job, and have no friends.
First and foremost, you need to be patient and continue looking for work. Stop fighting with your wife. There's no point. Apologize.
Be a steady presence in your child's life. Focus on your health. Try to stop smoking. You'll feel better. You might live longer, too. Get some exercise. Get away from the computer.
Stop communicating with your online girlfriend. It will only make you unhappy. It will ruin her life, too.
Find something to do where you can interact with other people. Volunteer. Help the elderly or homeless.
Try to make friends.
Don't give up. Life will get better.
thanks a lot for reading my big story! much appreciation ! however my online woman is willing to leave her husband within a year and already trying to learn about culture without i ask for it does it make any difference ?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
