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Having a kid used to be a dealbreaker. When my marriage started falling apart and I pictured my next relationship, I had basically decided that I would stay away from women with children. Figured it'd be easier to focus on our relationship, be spontaneous, and I wouldn't have to deal with any awkward meetings, scorn from ex-husband, etc.
Then when my marriage did end and it wasn't just a hypothetical any longer, I revisited my outlook. In the end, I realized it was kind of sexy for a single woman to raise a well-adjusted kid. It showed a lot of willpower and determination. And I'm not an obnoxious *******, so why should I be worried about having to win over a kid or ex-husband?
So now I am developing a relationship with a single mom. Makes for some challenges, mostly about coordinating our time together. And we've had the beginning discussions about the meeting. But I don't regret softening my stance on the dealbreaker.
I agree, but i don't know if I'd call your acceptance "sexy". Respectful is a better concept in my experience. I have a great deal of respect for single mothers, whose primary concern is the well-being of their children. If a man wants to be number 1 in the life of a woman who has, or will have, children, you will fail if she is a good woman.
Yes, women who consumed alcohol (even occasionally). In brief: I was in my late teens, a drunk driver (woman) plowed into my car with my childhood best friend in it. His last words as his mangled broken body laid half way on my lap was "I cant feel my legs".
He died in the car, and part of me did, too. It took a few years to get over it, but its no longer a deal breaker.
Not really. I still don't want to date someone that had a sleeping around past because I'm not that in the female version. I don't want to date someone that had a history of hitting a gf or others (unless it was a real case of life-death situation or him trying to protect a closed member from harm...retaliation in anger for the sake of who is more right isn't self-defense) nor cheated in the past.
Sorry to hear what happened hawaiiancoconut. It must be the most awful thing someone has to go through at that age.
Having a kid used to be a dealbreaker. When my marriage started falling apart and I pictured my next relationship, I had basically decided that I would stay away from women with children. Figured it'd be easier to focus on our relationship, be spontaneous, and I wouldn't have to deal with any awkward meetings, scorn from ex-husband, etc.
Then when my marriage did end and it wasn't just a hypothetical any longer, I revisited my outlook. In the end, I realized it was kind of sexy for a single woman to raise a well-adjusted kid. It showed a lot of willpower and determination. And I'm not an obnoxious *******, so why should I be worried about having to win over a kid or ex-husband?
So now I am developing a relationship with a single mom. Makes for some challenges, mostly about coordinating our time together. And we've had the beginning discussions about the meeting. But I don't regret softening my stance on the dealbreaker.
I'm doing the same as well. Currently talking too and spending time with a single mom of a 3 year old and 6 year old. None of this was really expected, since we officially met months ago and didn't have good impressions of each other. Started just chatting a couple of weeks ago on shared interest, which led to drinks a couple of days later. Come to find out, we both felt something when we went our separate ways that evening. We've both admitted that we came in with little to no interest that night, but left having interest.
Neither of us were looking to date either, so we're just seeing where things go for now. I have likely laxed a little on some of my dealbreakers, because I think I had some in place that were actually going to keep me perpetually single.
Sorry to hear what happened hawaiiancoconut. It must be the most awful thing someone has to go through at that age.
Thanks Guys. I'm blessed that I was able to walk away with just a concussion and a chipped tooth - given none of us was wearing seat belts .
It was an absolute deal breaker in my college years to date a woman who drank alcohol (as far as being serious/casual dating didn't count ). Ive not drank any alcohol since I was 19; mainly because I take my health seriously, and that tragic incident.
For me it used to be girls who smoked, But now that I know I don't want to get married or have Children or potentially live with my S/O, I have opened up to the idea of dating a girl who smoked.
Just curious. If so what are they and what made you change your mind?
I don't really have any to share (sorry).
When I was in college, I was dating a girl and she told me she was bisexual. I was young, it freaked me out, and I ran away with my tail between my legs.
What an idiot I was. In 2016 (25+ years later!!!) that would not be a dealbreaker.
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. 
). Ive not drank any alcohol since I was 19; mainly because I take my health seriously, and that tragic incident.
