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I haven't read all the post, but OP.....maybe she doesn't want to have sex with you?
Doesn't sound like "your all that and a bag of chips". Grow up and be a man.
This sounds like that typical alpha male bs a lot of men spew. OP you and this woman aren't compatible move on and find a woman who is compatible with you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Face it, OP, you're just not that into her. It's obvious. If you were into her, this wouldn't even be a question.
Not true at all. No matter how into someone I might be I have to get some feedback that they might be into me as well in order to keep going on. And no, saying yes to me asking them out again is in no way sufficient feedback.
Someone who waits to have sex is doing the right thing.
Someone who wants to have sex early in a dating relationship is doing the right thing.
Waiting doesn't signify or predict a languishing libido.
Wanting sex early doesn't show disrespect for anyone.
From the way he writes about his dilemma, the OP does seem to view dating this woman as a means to the end of getting sex. I can see why some people would think he's being kind of hyper focused here in an off putting way. Most people stopped responding to the OP a while ago, though.
Generally, wanting sex early in a relationship isn't wrong or disrespectful for a man or a woman. Wanting to wait doesn't make a person a prude or manipulative. Those desires are just different and mutually incompatible.
Not true at all. No matter how into someone I might be I have to get some feedback that they might be into me as well in order to keep going on. And no, saying yes to me asking them out again is in no way sufficient feedback.
And kisses after the last few dates wouldn't give you an indication? You don't know what kind of signals she's been sending him. He hasn't said much about her at all.
The majority of women I know, who aren't religious or "traditional," don't "wait" to have sex. They have sex at the right moment for both parties and when there's chemistry.
And generally speaking, that right moment is not right away when a guy barely starts to romance, dine and wine her.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
And kisses after the last few dates wouldn't give you an indication? You don't know what kind of signals she's been sending him. He hasn't said much about her at all.
No, that's not an indication. Loads of people make out with people they're not into or even attracted to. Often kissing is to test the spark. If you're stopping at kissing more than a couple of times then they're just not into you.
(Of course, there are women that will also sleep with you when they're not that attracted to you as well, so its far from foolproof)
I am a guy. The usual number of dates until I have had sex is about 4 to 5 dates (sometimes sooner).
I have been out with this lady 7 times (over a 5 to 6 week period). I thought 7 was a "lucky" number but to no avail. And when I say no sex, I mean zero sex (of any kind). To be fair, this girl did tell me on date No. 1 that she is a "traditional" girl. I should have quizzed her on what that meant.
I thought 7 dates was a real long wait...so I am thinking it may be best to part our separate ways? I am not sure how long until she feels comfortable but she is 29 years old and has only had one sexual partner (her ex-husband). So the waiting game here could stretch on for a while...though she assures me she is NOT waiting for marriage until she has sex. She just wants to feel comfortable and that she can trust the guy she is with.
Be patient or move on...? For those that answer please specify your gender, just trying to get some perspective. Thanks.
It sounds as though she has a low libido and/or she may be gay, which, in either case, you still need to drop her and move on ASAP.
i dont judge but i think he wants someone to give it to him on command & when he feels like it and so i think his best best is a prostitute.
i dont judge... its not my place too.
No reasonable, rational person would come to such an extreme, especially when there are tons of examples of women who are willing to have sex within a few dates.
You stated you don't judge. Twice.
Yeah.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Cave Man
I haven't read all the post, but OP.....maybe she doesn't want to have sex with you?
Doesn't sound like "your all that and a bag of chips". Grow up and be a man.
Part of being a man is using "your and you're" correctly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Face it, OP, you're just not that into her. It's obvious. If you were into her, this wouldn't even be a question.
So, move on. You're not each other's type, fwiw.
That makes no sense. Even if he didn't care or question it, he would've probably dumped her by now or he would be hooking up with other women on the side until they had sex. He for sure would not have started a thread about it if it wasn't into her.
Did you guys even bother to read the OP, where he stated it's never taken this long for him to have sex with a woman he's dated? This is a new situation for him, and he's looking for feedback/advice/opinions from those who have maybe been in a similar situation. He may feel it's something he's doing or not doing that's causing this, but the sound advice here is to communicate his feelings directly to her.
But of course, he's met with the same hostel, unnecessary responses.
I thought it was obvious he was curious to read some perspective since, yanno, in the OP he says, "...just trying to get some perspective".
I swear.
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