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Hey thanks for the great responses everyone, this is much appreciated and more than I had originally anticipated. Great points all around. So I'm definitely proceeding as follows. No more contact from my end until maybe early next week (granted she doesn't reach out first) asking for one more meetup request and then done. Also I've started chatting up other girls so taking that advice for sure.
So just to summarize, the odd thing about this particular girl is unless she's stringing me along due to immaturity or ego-boost as stated by others here, it seemed like I broke down each barrier/**** test she has given. Initially she stated online that she was hesitant about chatting with me (said I was not her usual type) but kept chatting, then I asked her for a phone number and she said she didn't give out her number to strangers, then kept chatting and she gave the number . Then started texting (I know should have picked up the phone initially but it is what it is now) and she's pretty responsive and very upbeat when chatting so it was slightly a surprise when she dropped the whole other guy she likes in the picture thing on me and yet still offered up (albeit a half-ass attempt) to make a date after telling me that. So I'm really not sure- seems like she is just being a challenge or legitimately just doesn't care but is not rude about it. I thought we made a good connection and she obviously hasn't run away outright yet. Ah women are a mystery
I don't think you can determine the level of your connection with someone until you've actually met!
Hey thanks for the great responses everyone, this is much appreciated and more than I had originally anticipated. Great points all around. So I'm definitely proceeding as follows. No more contact from my end until maybe early next week (granted she doesn't reach out first) asking for one more meetup request and then done. Also I've started chatting up other girls so taking that advice for sure.
So just to summarize, the odd thing about this particular girl is unless she's stringing me along due to immaturity or ego-boost as stated by others here, it seemed like I broke down each barrier/**** test she has given. Initially she stated online that she was hesitant about chatting with me (said I was not her usual type) but kept chatting, then I asked her for a phone number and she said she didn't give out her number to strangers, then kept chatting and she gave the number . Then started texting (I know should have picked up the phone initially but it is what it is now) and she's pretty responsive and very upbeat when chatting so it was slightly a surprise when she dropped the whole other guy she likes in the picture thing on me and yet still offered up (albeit a half-ass attempt) to make a date after telling me that. So I'm really not sure- seems like she is just being a challenge or legitimately just doesn't care but is not rude about it. I thought we made a good connection and she obviously hasn't run away outright yet. Ah women are a mystery
Some game playing is always in order. You should not make it too easy for her.
But something about you left her unable to just blow you off, so there is interest. However, her equivocating is not a great sign.
Get more aggressive. Plan a date. Offer a place and time. If she won't agree to a first date, back WAY off. It means she's not THAT interested.
Why does it mean " she really likes the other guy"? She's "dating". Sounds like she made the date with the other guy before the OP asked her out. What's she supposed to do, break the date for someone she's yet to even meet? Looks to me like she's keeping her options open at this point.
I would continue trying to meet other women and see how that goes. Don't put all your hopes in this lady because she may decide to continue with guy #1 and you are waiting for something that may never happen. The way I approached OLD is not to get to into it because the roller coaster of emotions with drive you crazy. Good luck.
You are okay with being someone's second choice? Or if her ardor cools for other guy, are you okay being a placeholder until something better comes along? I personally think life is too short for such.
Why does it mean " she really likes the other guy"? She's "dating". Sounds like she made the date with the other guy before the OP asked her out. What's she supposed to do, break the date for someone she's yet to even meet? Looks to me like she's keeping her options open at this point.
If you read more carefully, you will notice that what I wrote and what you wrote are two different statements.
So today I texted her asking her out on the weekend and she stated in full disclosure that she already had a date with a guy but was still willing to meet at another time. So I'm trying to figure a couple things out:
What is there to figure out? She told you flat out she's dating another guy. She left the door ajar for you to meet "at another time" but she didn't set up a date, which means she's not interested. Move on.
You have described the situation three different ways in this thread so I am a little confused. In the OP you say she has a date with another guy this weekend. Then in your second post you posted that she said she "really liked the guy". Then in your summary you said she "liked the guy".
Anyway.... I would tell her that you will check back with her in a couple weeks. Then after a month, if she is still on the site, you should ask her out again.
Quote:
Why does it mean " she really likes the other guy"? She's "dating". Sounds like she made the date with the other guy before the OP asked her out. What's she supposed to do, break the date for someone she's yet to even meet? Looks to me like she's keeping her options open at this point.
We are getting everything heavily filtered so I need to read between the lines, I read that she has already been on a date with the other guy.
Hi Everyone, again thanks for the great advice and responses. I'm grateful. I've decided at this time to no longer pursue nor reach out this the gal (and don't expect she will either). Not sure what the lesson to be learned here was, maybe the margin of error for me is super super low or rather I should stop caring about each interaction with a woman so as not to get my hopes up (what a depressing way to proceed I must say though). Anyway, thanks again!
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. Then started texting (I know should have picked up the phone initially but it is what it is now) and she's pretty responsive and very upbeat when chatting so it was slightly a surprise when she dropped the whole other guy she likes in the picture thing on me and yet still offered up (albeit a half-ass attempt) to make a date after telling me that. So I'm really not sure- seems like she is just being a challenge or legitimately just doesn't care but is not rude about it. I thought we made a good connection and she obviously hasn't run away outright yet. Ah women are a mystery 
