Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
They are not different. In either case, the person is being robbed of their right to determine their own emotions. I don't smile in most of my online photos because that is how I am in real life, I rarely smile typically since my smile looks stupid and I look like an idiot when I smile.
A question is not an order, and a smile is not an emotion.
A question is not an order, and a smile is not an emotion.
Exactly.
Even though they may not word it in the best way, generally the sentiment by people that ask about smiling is that they feel it would be pleasant, and are offering to help. It's usually not mean-spirited.
However, people that hear it often likely tire of it (as is the case with anything you hear too often), so they begin to get offended. I find it unlikely that those same people are offended the first time they hear it, and if they are, they're wound way too tight, in my opinion.
Sure, it'd be easy for people to keep their suggestions to themselves, but it's just as easy to simply acknowledge the statement and move on about your day without making a big fuss about it.
Personally, I welcome little statements like that, whether I agree with them or not. I don't particularly care for my smile, so I don't grin real big for pictures or anything, but I guess I smile enough to prevent people from suggesting it to me.
I am born and raised in the US and some of the crap that we get all worked over still boggles my mind. We are way too finicky of a society... at times too demanding and intrusive for the wrong reasons.
I would never ask a stranger to smile but it has more to do with minding my own business. However, I've said it to friends and acquaintances (male and female)... as away to say cheer up when it seems they are having a bad day. Smiling is good for you.. improves mood.. even a fake smile
"Some of the earliest work in the area was done by psychologist and “facial coding” expert Paul Ekman. While experimenting with negative facial expressions like frowns, Ekman found that his mood seemed to be altered. In 1990, Ekman’s research on other subjects showed that adopting a “Duchenne smile” – a full smile that involves facial muscles around the eyes – produced a change in brain activity that corresponded with a happier mood."
Had this discussion years ago with my exGF who was born and raised towards the end of Soviet era. A smile has different connotations in their culture stemming from distrust. From my point of view, it is not something we should imitate.
My exGF eventually lightened up as the years went by... and became a bit more personable. My wife today has a jovial way about her.. her positive view on life (I'm a polar opposite) balances me and that wonderful smile of hers reminds me to stay positive.
It's also worth noting that it's MUCH more often family and friends telling you to smile than strangers.
Not for me. A friend might ask, "What's wrong?" or "Is something on your mind?" Strangers don't care how you actually feel, they just want to look at something pretty.
Not for me. A friend might ask, "What's wrong?" or "Is something on your mind?" Strangers don't care how you actually feel, they just want to look at something pretty.
I can't say I've ever had a stranger mention my appearance in any way, so I couldn't comment. Male privilege, I guess!
I am female. I have had more men telling me to smile than I can count. It irks me.
I don't care if I have bitchy resting face; it's practice. I am working up to curmudgeon.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
