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Nothing says 'I truly love my husband' then shoving your tongue down his brothers mouth, Lol.
In public, for his friends, family, and all the world to see.
Sorry, OP, but your hub has every right to be hurt and angry.
And yet, to divorce someone over this? After both wife and brother have apologized profusely? That's a bit much. The husband sounds petulant enough that I wonder how he handles other conflicts in the marriage, and if there's a pattern of grudge-holding. It also makes me wonder if this is the husband's excuse for a divorce he wanted all along, anyway. It's definitely not something I would get depressed enough to go on psych meds for, or let it eat me up to the extent the OP is doing. If this man is THAT unforgiving even after the OP and his brother have made multiple attempts to ask for forgiveness, I would get pretty sick of it and be all, "You know what? It was a mistake. We apologized. If you can't forgive, then don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out."
I am generally of the mindset that two people can overcome a lot if they want it badly enough... but this? The OP didn't just hurt her husband, she also helped destroy her husband's relationship with his brother. That's way worse than making out with some random guy, because a cheating wife can be replaced, while a brother cannot.
I am generally of the mindset that two people can overcome a lot if they want it badly enough... but this? The OP didn't just hurt her husband, she also helped destroy her husband's relationship with his brother. That's way worse than making out with some random guy, because a cheating wife can be replaced, while a brother cannot.
I don't suppose you'd consider that maybe it's the brother who helped destroy the marriage. It's not all the OP's fault. It's his brother's fault just as much as hers.
I don't suppose you'd consider that maybe it's the brother who helped destroy the marriage. It's not all the OP's fault. It's his brother's fault just as much as hers.
Sure, his tongue was every bit as much involved as hers. It just sucks because the OP's husband was betrayed by his wife and his brother. Wives are replaceable, brothers are not.
I don't suppose you'd consider that maybe it's the brother who helped destroy the marriage. It's not all the OP's fault. It's his brother's fault just as much as hers.
I agree, though I put more faith in the bond you choose to be in than the bond you are born with.
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NYE was 2 months ago and he's still acting like this? Yeah, kissing your husband's brother was pretty stupid, but I've seen lots of crazy stuff happen when people are drunk on NYE.
Look, years ago, I went out with a guy who, while we were together, openly admitted he had a crush on my best friend. It really didn't occur to me to feel jealous. Why WOULDN'T he have a crush on her? She and I are very similar. The things he saw in her were the same things he saw in me. But I knew he was committed to me and wasn't going to turn things upside down over a crush. Honestly, if they'd kissed in a situation like that, I would have just chalked it up to a momentary thing - and probably teased them quite a bit about it. I'm not a jealous person, I guess, and if I'm not confident about someone's feelings for me, I'm not going to be with them in the first place.
I just really don't see this as a big deal - you screwed up and have apologized and you clearly regret what happened. What I DO see as a big deal is that your husband is just nursing his anger rather than trying to deal with it. He's bent on punishing you and holding on to his anger rather than focusing on your marriage and addressing the problem. If it's a dealbreaker for him, he should have already initiated divorce proceedings - instead he's just beating you up emotionally. What that tells me is that he's the kind of guy who likes to wallow in misery and will hold any mistake over you for years - whenever you argue, this will come up.
See a marriage counselor and work on yourself and your marriage, but accept that this relationship might not be something worth saving.
Sure, his tongue was every bit as much involved as hers. It just sucks because the OP's husband was betrayed by his wife and his brother. Wives are replaceable, brothers are not.
Yes, siblings are irreplaceable, all right. No one else can be a bigger ahole to you than someone you've known since you popped out of the womb!
(Which is to say, nope, I don't miss two of mine, who are still walking around out there no doubt being aholes to everyone else they know. No need or desire to replace their crap in my life.)
Bottom line is that as someone else said up thread, the hub has been stewing in it for two months, sulking, pouting, being emotionally abusive in turn. Screw that. They apologized. They want to make amends. He won't let them. I'd be all BYE, FELICIA. Life is too short for that crap. It really is.
For those asking about the type of kiss, well let's just say it was the kind of kiss that should be reserved for a husband.
We both had a little too much to drink, but I'm not blaming the alcohol, we both knew what we were doing,
I just don't know what I was thinking. We both admit we got caught up in the moment and a little carried away.
His arms were around my waist and my arms around his neck
I'm ashamed to admit it, the kiss should of never happened or gone on that long, but it did and I let it happen
My husband also said some pretty mean and hurtful things to me afterwards, he said we looked like a couple of dogs in heat
He also told me that no one kisses like that unless they want to get with each other or they already have.
I just broke down and cried because I have always been loyal and faithful to him and I can't believe he would accuse of us of something like that, we would never do that to him
I'm with your husband, and I, too, would think there was something going on.
Nobody in their right mind, alcohol or not, would ever kiss their brother-in-law, period, much less an intimate kiss with a full-on body-length grapple, if they weren't harboring fantasies about that very thing.
The husband should have just laid out his brother with a brutal right cross followed by a left hook and a couple swift kicks to the nuts while he's down and moved on with his marriage. Instead, he's the weak victim.
A bit of hyperbole but c'mon. Grow a set.
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