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I'm talking about the VERY first time, whether you were a super young dopey kid or an elderly man/woman. If you somehow have never had this form of rejection then good for you! Now, move along
Anyway, I was curious for those that have gotten this kind of rejection how long did it take you to put two and two together? Also, what was the situation like exactly?
For me it was with this girl I didn't really click with, but it's not like I had been dating much at the time, so I figured what the hell maybe things will turn out better for the second one. She said she'd go on a second date, but had to check her work calendar since she didn't know when she'd be free. During the actual first date she said she was only working part time and had four free days every week. Of course, now I'd know better and just cease any hope there, but at the time I guess I was in denial. Things just kind of fizzled out naturally from there.
The time was kindergarten and I bartered my pudding for her friendship. That's when it sunk in, you aint got pudding, you aint got women. So very true all these years later.
I don't think I have ever had the "I'm too busy" excuse but... if you propose a date and the other person doesn't accept or makes a counteroffer if they are busy on the day you suggested, I would just move on. Clearly they aren't too excited about seeing you.
I don't think I have ever had the "I'm too busy" excuse but... if you propose a date and the other person doesn't accept or makes a counteroffer if they are busy on the day you suggested, I would just move on. Clearly they aren't too excited about seeing you.
By "too busy" It's not specifically said, at least not always. More along the lines of...
Person 1: Want to go on a date Thursday?
Person 2: I'd love to but I have to work!
Person 1: But you said you never work Thursdays.
Person 2: I never do and won't again in a million years, but this week I do.
Person 1: How about the Thursday after then?
Person 2: I can't! I forgot I have this other thing I need to do.
And this can just go on like this until Person 1 gets the clue. Aziz Ansari mentioned it as one of the three forms of rejection. It's somewhere between ghosting and being honest with someone.
I've gave the "excuse" and also been on the receiving end, and its no big deal. If you expect dating to be all cake and ice cream, you're in for a rude awakening. Not everyone you date is going to be successful.
You should not be taking this too personal, OP. Life is full of rejections.
I've gave the "excuse" and also been on the receiving end, and its no big deal. If you expect dating to be all cake and ice cream, you're in for a rude awakening. Not everyone you date is going to be successful.
You should not be taking this too personal, OP. Life is full of rejections.
Oh, I don't take it personally. Also, it's at least a step up from ghosting. I'm just curious to hear people's stories. I like stories
Edit: Also, dating technically can be all cake and ice cream if you only agree to go on dates at bakeries and ice cream shops
By "too busy" It's not specifically said, at least not always. More along the lines of...
Person 1: Want to go on a date Thursday?
Person 2: I'd love to but I have to work!
Person 1: But you said you never work Thursdays.
Person 2: I never do and won't again in a million years, but this week I do.
Person 1: How about the Thursday after then?
Person 2: I can't! I forgot I have this other thing I need to do.
And this can just go on like this until Person 1 gets the clue. Aziz Ansari mentioned it as one of the three forms of rejection. It's somewhere between ghosting and being honest with someone.
That is how it goes when they couldn't handle the,
"It's just not working out for me."
"You're a sweet person and I'm sure you'll find that special someone."
"No, there is nothing you can do to change my mind."
"Listen! You're a wacko! Goodbye!"
I don't take excuses. I have had this happen only once so far, I guess I have been really lucky. I am looking into other options, but I will keep asking her until I get a straight answer. It's a sign of cowardice and immaturity in my opinion, but it can be turned into a yes if done correctly. I know multiple couples who started out this way, two are happily married 5+ years now. One had to ask his (now) spouse out 5-6 times before she said yes.
In most cases, it's probably best to move on I suppose. Who is this Aziz guy? Is he one of those PUA I have heard about? Women are people, deal with them like you would any other personal interaction.
I don't take excuses. I have had this happen only once so far, I guess I have been really lucky. I am looking into other options, but I will keep asking her until I get a straight answer. It's a sign of cowardice and immaturity in my opinion, but it can be turned into a yes if done correctly. I know multiple couples who started out this way, two are happily married 5+ years now. One had to ask his (now) spouse out 5-6 times before she said yes.
In most cases, it's probably best to move on I suppose. Who is this Aziz guy? Is he one of those PUA I have heard about? Women are people, deal with them like you would any other personal interaction.
Aziz is a stand-up, not a pick-up artist. Probably mangled the spelling of his name because i was on my crappy sell phone at the time lol.
Anyway, as far as badgering someone until they give you a straight answer, I'd rather not. If I don't get a call back after two attempts I guess they're not that interested and move on.
It's probably happened to all of us at least once or twice. It's part of the learning process. Eventually, some people figure it out and quit falling for it. Some people never do, though.
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