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There's a body of literature in social psychology that says, on average, women and men count sex their sex partners differently. Women "enumerate" in the sense they think back through their sexual experiences, try to recall the experiences and then use this "memory scan" to come with a number. Men, on the other hand, sort of "wing it" and use a rough estimation process, without relying to much on their memory.
Do you happen to remember where you saw this? (Or if you can't, could you further elaborate on the underlined part?) I'd be interested in learning more about this.
While I don't doubt that some guy could rack up over 100 by age 22, I think it's odd he knows the exact number. I'm in my late 30's and I doubt i've slept with 50 women
I'm 23 and have been dating my bf for 6 months. Recently the conversation of how many people we have been with came up. I have been with about 20 guys, which I was embarassed to say. He said he's been with 104.
Lets do the math here - I'm assuming he is your age (or close enough anyway).
If he lost his virginity at 14, he's been at it for 9 years.
104/9 = 11.5 women a year.
Basically he's sleeping with a new girl every month from the time he turned 14.
Does this sound like a good idea to you?
Herpes, HPV, HIV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Trichomonas, and Syphillis say hello.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Movingrightalong...
Herpes, HPV, HIV, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Trichomonas, and Syphillis say hello.
He should have had the HPV vaccine if he is early 20s. As should all the women.
And I don't get this fear of diseases thing. You can catch something sleeping with one person a year, or 10. This is why people need to use protection and get tested. I don't care if you've slept with 10 in your life or 100, irrelevant, play safe and get tested.
And I'll tell you, the women I've met that are more active are WAAAAY better at insisting on condoms and better at sexual health practices in general.
He should have had the HPV vaccine if he is early 20s. As should all the women.
And I don't get this fear of diseases thing. You can catch something sleeping with one person a year, or 10. This is why people need to use protection and get tested. I don't care if you've slept with 10 in your life or 100, irrelevant, play safe and get tested.
And I'll tell you, the women I've met that are more active are WAAAAY better at insisting on condoms and better at sexual health practices in general.
The fear comes (somewhat obviously) there being more risk of "something happening" from the numbers of people involved.
The same fear that makes people ask this question and if they "should be"" ok accepting someone they want to be with has had so many partners, in the broad sense that it naturally has opened them up to the increase of associated issues.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
The fear comes (somewhat obviously) there being more risk of "something" from the numbers of people involved.
The same fear that makes people ask this question and if they "should be"" ok accepting someone they want to be with has had so many partners, in the broad sense that it naturally has opened them up to the increase of associated issues.
That's a horrible mindset to have. The mindset to have is to practice safe sex and get tested, whether you think the person has had 5 lovers or 50. It only takes one (even none).
Anyone that believes: Oh, I don't need to be tested, she doesn't sleep around, she has only had sex twice before (or even not at all), so she's safe. We don't need to be tested or to use protection.
Is a straight up moron, and precisely the types that catch and spread diseases, because they aren't tested (I don't sleep around, I know the person I slept with well, they don't' have a disease) and don't play safe.
He should have had the HPV vaccine if he is early 20s. As should all the women.
And I don't get this fear of diseases thing.
I'm of the opinion that it's mostly a knee-jerk shaming-type reaction. It's the first thing that's brought up as a response to the topic of sexual promiscuity, even by those who aren't sexually active. I'm with you, the more sexually active women I know are the FAR more careful ones.
That's a horrible mindset to have. The mindset to have is to practice safe sex and get tested, whether you think the person has had 5 lovers or 50. It only takes one (even none).
Anyone that believes: Oh, I don't need to be tested, she doesn't sleep around, she has only had sex twice before (or even not at all), so she's safe. We don't need to be tested or to use protection.
Is a straight up moron, and precisely the types that catch and spread diseases, because they aren't tested (I don't sleep around, I know the person I slept with well, they don't' have a disease) and don't play safe.
You have no idea of the person you are with has "been a moron" anywhere along that way. Unless your are requesting specific testing, you have no way outside of your own judgment based in the information you have and can gain on your own.
and yes I agree, being proactive is the best option...that's common sense.
Their is also the psychological aspects to consider, which has nothing to do with shaming or hating on another. It's investigating if their is alternative motive/intent behind such a large/extreme percentage of happenings.
Just as anyone would question anything being on either the extreme or underwhelming end of a scale in any other subject.
Last edited by rego00123; 02-26-2016 at 11:46 AM..
Well, Ward, times have changed since you and June had the Beav.
Seriously, how old are you and how is this shocking to you? Did you miss the 60s? And are you unaware that these days fewer people believe in your "good book" than do? There's an entire generation of non-religious people coming of age now, and atheists are the fastest growing group with respect to religion. Bible-belt excepted, religion is well on its way out in the U.S., and at the rate we're going, non-believers and the irreligious will outnumber believers by the time Millennials retire. You follow your "good book" for you, and don't tell the rest of us what to do and how to live. You're not the boss of us.
What's more, how do you know what those around you do behind closed doors? Do they discuss their sex lives with you? Because I can guarantee that if they are going around announcing how pure and Christian they are, they're full of garbage and have probably been with far more than 20, with some serious kink thrown in for good measure. There are no hypocrites like sexual hypocrites. See: Evangelist preachers and the right wing in Congress.
Thank you, drive through, say hi to Ike for me! Sheesh!
I am not that old. I am in my mid 40s and was raised in the 70s and 80s. Of course immorality has always been around but I can say with all certainty that most people back then did not have more than 20 partners by the time they were 20. Only a very small group of people engaged in that kind of behavior in those days, in spite of what you may have seen in the movies and TV. When I was in high school a girl guarded her reputation and most remained good girls until late high school or college. A great many married by 20 years old. An awful lot has changed in the last 30 years and its not a good change. The open immorality and godlessness is a harbinger of doom for our society, of course this is my opinion and I know you disagree.
Several post agreed with your sentiment regarding God and Christian values. There is nothing I can do about that but it does make me sad. I know Gods laws were put in place for our benefit, but because of sin in the world many rebel against them. I also never said the people I know are perfect, nor am I. We are all sinful, and all in need of forgiveness. However I do know that they never engaged in the kind of promiscuity being discussed in this thread. Not only is 100 sexual partners disgusting and sinful, its downright dangerous. "Say high to Ike for me", yea that was funny you get points for that, however I am not old enough for Ike. However I am old enough for you to replace Ike with Ron. My generation came of age during the conservative resurgence of the 80s, many of Americas traditional values were still intact so that may explain my values and viewpoints. I don't understand the way things are today and I really don't want to.
gee.. I must be a reject from the 70s and 80s then.... oh well
We are doomed I tell yah!.. Doomed!!!
Socially... I think things are better now than ever before. You should understand why things are they are today.... "our" generation contributed to it. So typical...... "we are right and greater.. everyone else is wrong".
Last edited by usayit; 02-27-2016 at 05:54 AM..
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