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I don't think anyone is saying it is a "life sentence", just that calling it a string of years and years and years of "bad luck" is totally bogus.
Right, and Checkered also said:
Quote:
Dates just don't happen. If you have not been dating and find it a monumental task to approach women, be comfortable around them, and have a chance at dating, then you really need to seek some professional help to work out the roadblocks in your life which are holding you back.
which is something that a lot of the dudes on this board aren't willing to do. Nothing is hopeless, but a lot of people need to take a hard look at their behavior and expectations to understand why they're not getting the results they want.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 02-29-2016 at 12:38 PM..
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
which is something that a lot of the dudes on this board aren't willing to do.
True. I have luck at dating, I haven't been having luck finding a monogamous relationship with a person I want one with. I date them, sleep with them, sometimes for years, but I can't find the monogamous relationship I want.
Guess what. Common denominator! It isn't bad luck, it is me. My picker. My actions. My inactions. I'm to blame. No one else, and certainly not luck.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimBrown333
how is that an issue?.
A human being, a naturally social creature, decides it isn't worth it to invest energy into making a connection with another human being?
That screams "there is an issue". Even those most introverted of people need some socializing, we are, as a species, mentally and emotional messes without social connections. Someone that thinks interpersonal connections aren't worth putting energy into, for like over a decade, screams freaking issues.
No. I said I can determine how attracted I AM to someone by looking at them. I don't know or care how others do it, I know what is best for me.
You could very well be writing off the perfect match for you because she doesn't come bundled as tall and curvy. Maybe try broadening your horizons instead of focusing on "type".
At 30 you should be in the right spot to facilitate a family (mentally, spiritually and financially) provided you actually want one and can find a decent girl worth having a family with.
Perhaps times have changed though. The amount of "still living at home until I can afford my dreams" threads are pretty astonishing on these boards.
You could very well be writing off the perfect match for you because she doesn't come bundled as tall and curvy. Maybe try broadening your horizons instead of focusing on "type".
I can see how sometimes "type" can be hard to let go of for guys. A good example: I went to an art opening one evening. A guy who was either a co-owner of the exhibit space, or a friend of the owner, was standing to one side, dressed in a nice leather jacket, his version of dressing "sharp". He was scanning the room throughout the evening, surveying the women as they came in. He never approached anyone. Why? Because (I concluded) the women were dressed more informally than what he was looking for, and were average-looking. No one came in who was wearing heels and something like a cocktail dress or "date" dress, looking hot. A few women were wearing skirts or dresses, but nothing trendy or fashionable. Others were wearing jeans or casual pants, and their fashion sense didn't jibe with his.
Was he missing out on a great potential girlfriend? Well, maybe not, if what he wanted was someone he could dress up with and go out with to certain types of venues, someone he could hit the cocktail circuit with, the trendy parties, etc. I kind of get it, in spite of the general nature of my posts that people should get past their fixation on "type".
At 30, it is not too late to meet someone to establish a family with kids. However, most normal, never married women who are interested in having a family usually try to meet their SO by early 20th. So every year from now your chances will diminish somewhat. That does not mean at all that you are doomed. That does mean that you have to have realistic expectations about the appearance. character, etc of someone you are trying to date...
A human being, a naturally social creature, decides it isn't worth it to invest energy into making a connection with another human being?
That screams "there is an issue". Even those most introverted of people need some socializing, we are, as a species, mentally and emotional messes without social connections. Someone that thinks interpersonal connections aren't worth putting energy into, for like over a decade, screams freaking issues.
I was talking about relationships lol, me personally I have plenty of friends and a pretty active social life (doing something every weekend usually), also throw in hanging out with my brothers and sisters (7 of us total 5 boys and 2 girls). I say that regarding relationships I have probably in my life only twice put in effort into going on a date (and both times I did get dates with the girls I wanted to) my last time putting in effort into that aspect was 2013, I feel this year I will make an effort as of right now, but If I change my mind and decide not to, I have plenty of other avenues of making connections with people.
I can see how sometimes "type" can be hard to let go of for guys. A good example: I went to an art opening one evening. A guy who was either a co-owner of the exhibit space, or a friend of the owner, was standing to one side, dressed in a nice leather jacket, his version of dressing "sharp". He was scanning the room throughout the evening, surveying the women as they came in. He never approached anyone. Why? Because (I concluded) the women were dressed more informally than what he was looking for, and were average-looking. No one came in who was wearing heels and something like a cocktail dress or "date" dress, looking hot. A few women were wearing skirts or dresses, but nothing trendy or fashionable. Others were wearing jeans or casual pants, and their fashion sense didn't jibe with his.
Was he missing out on a great potential girlfriend? Well, maybe not, if what he wanted was someone he could dress up with and go out with to certain types of venues, someone he could hit the cocktail circuit with, the trendy parties, etc. I kind of get it, in spite of the general nature of my posts that people should get past their fixation on "type".
I'm surprised to see you write something like this because your whole post is based on a guess you made about him, not knowing a thing about him.
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