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Your link says "peak" is defined differently for women than men; for women it's defined as age of maximum satisfaction from sex, whereas for men it's defined as peak libido. I don't know where the author got that. When science and the medical profession say women's sexual peak is in their 30's, they're talking about libido.
This part is true.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
You must have missed the several threads we had a year or two ago about men in LTR's only being able to handle sex 2-3 times/week, while many women are raring to go daily, or multiple times daily.
This part is also true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
It's highly debatable whether men or women have a bigger interest in sex.
This part is false.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Also, being "interested" and actually being able to deliver (and the discussion was about young men, 20-somethings, mainly) with much frequency are two very different things, as the women here were emphatically told by several of the male posters. Frankly, I found it impossible to believe, but....whatever.
And lastly, this part is true (if I understand what you're saying here, which I very well might not).
Edit: If you mean that it's the women who couldn't deliver....then no, it's not the case, and disregard my previous statement. I thought you meant that it would be men who wanted it and couldn't deliver as a matter of biological function. That, is obviously a thing.
As is often the case, everything is argued from a matter of perception. Women will often describe the definition of libido as "frequency of desire". In that regard, there is no question...women want, and are capable of having, sex WAY more frequently than men (taking exceptions into account, we know nothing is 100%).
When men describe it, they tend to refer to the strength of the urge itself, as demonstrated by the ridiculous hoops they will jump through simply to OBTAIN sex.
Put another way: If you take a man and a woman who just had sex, who would want sex more? I'd argue it's the woman.
If you take a man and a woman who haven't had sex for a year, who would want sex more? I'd argue it's the man.
The LITERAL definition of libido/sex drive is unclear. Personally, I read it as the strength of the urge, rather than the frequency of the urge, but then again...I'm a man. A woman could easily read it as I mentioned above, which goes back to interpretation.
Overall men appear to have a bigger interest in sex than women but when it comes to peak I am not sure we can say women/men peak at a certain age. It seems women are simply more comfortable with their bodies and sexuality the older they get.
Obviously there's no hard and set number, but if someone were to suggest to me that men sexually peak at 18-ish and women sexually peak at 40-ish, I wouldn't argue it. Both I, and most men in my circle, wanted it the most and the most often around 16-25. As for the women in our circle, closer to 36-50.
And lastly, this part is true (if I understand what you're saying here, which I very well might not).
As is often the case, everything is argued from a matter of perception. Women will often describe the definition of libido as "frequency of desire". In that regard, there is no question...women want, and are capable of having, sex WAY more frequently than men (taking exceptions into account, we know nothing is 100%).
When men describe it, they tend to refer to the strength of the urge itself, as demonstrated by the ridiculous hoops they will jump through simply to OBTAIN sex.
Put another way: If you take a man and a woman who just had sex, who would want sex more? I'd argue it's the woman.
If you take a man and a woman who haven't had sex for a year, who would want sex more? I'd argue it's the man.
The LITERAL definition of libido/sex drive is unclear. Personally, I read it as the strength of the urge, rather than the frequency of the urge, but then again...I'm a man. A woman could easily read it as I mentioned above, which goes back to interpretation.
Yes, that was the conclusion that came out of those discussions. It was fascinating, and, I think, enlightening for everyone.
The fact that the question of who has the greater libido is highly debatable was evidenced by all those debates. If your quotes 1 & 2 were true, then & 3 would also have to be true. And the fact that you're still debating it , saying the definition of sex drive is "unclear", also proves the whole issue is highly debatable.
But I think basically we're agreed on the important points. And I think there doesn't have to be any single definition of "sex drive/libido". It makes sense that there could be two definitions, as there are two genders. Each brings his/her perspective to it. We can entertain both definitions, learn from them, and end with "vive la difference!".
And btw, I wasn't disagreeing with you, earlier, but with our old friend, OnihC.
Yes, that was the conclusion that came out of those discussions. It was fascinating, and, I think, enlightening for everyone.
The fact that the question of who has the greater libido is highly debatable was evidenced by all those debates. If your quotes 1 & 2 were true, then & 3 would also have to be true. And the fact that you're still debating it , saying the definition of sex drive is "unclear", also proves the whole issue is highly debatable.
But I think basically we're agreed on the important points. And I think there doesn't have to be any single definition of "sex drive/libido". It makes sense that there could be two definitions, as there are two genders. Each brings his/her perspective to it. We can entertain both definitions, learn from them, and end with "vive la difference!".
This is where we don't agree. 3 is absolutely false, it's simply a matter of what definition you use (one of which dictates that it's "false, women have the higher sex drive" and one of which dictates that it's "false, men have the higher sex drive". 2 opposing interpretations don't average out and make it a wash. One is distinctively stronger in women, and one is distinctively stronger in men. I see what you're saying about it being debatable in that regard, but in the context that it is always referred to, the relevance to one interpretation or another becomes super important and is absolutely not "debatable".
(Example: If a man is lamenting the strength of his own sex drive in its power to cause him to do stupid things in an effort to alleviate it, then the "strength of urge" interpretation is the relevant one.
If a woman is lamenting her husband's weaker sex drive compared to her own, leading to marital dissatisfaction, then it's the "frequency of urge" interpretation that becomes relevant.
In neither case is it debatable...in the first example, the man very obviously has the stronger sex drive and in the latter, the woman does. )
I suggest that the definition is unclear in an effort to be political; obviously, I very strongly believe one definition is more relevant/suitable than the other. I tried to debate why in a different thread, but people tend to get super angry about it for some reason.
Obviously there's no hard and set number, but if someone were to suggest to me that men sexually peak at 18-ish and women sexually peak at 40-ish, I wouldn't argue it. Both I, and most men in my circle, wanted it the most and the most often around 16-25. As for the women in our circle, closer to 36-50.
I think women at an earlier age will find it harder to talk about things of sexual nature. Ask a group of high school students if they masturbate and then ask a group of older women in their 40s and you’ll see who is more likely to admit it among other things on the subject. It seems women are more comfortable about their sexuality the older they get unlike guys who seem to be more open and comfortable about it anytime compared to women.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Really, the picture that emerges from discussions like that, and the constant attempts to describe women as not being interested in sex, is that men are afraid of women's sexuality
Not so long ago I was debating with other female posters who were supporting the idea that, yes, men would do anything for sex compared to women regardless of risks involved. Didn’t see anybody jump in to disagree with them. But men being afraid of women’s sexuality? It would be as saying that women are afraid of men who are romantic and good listeners. It is men who normally complain about sexless relationships so having a woman that doesn’t have any hangups or needs the planets and the stars to be aligned a certain way and simply wants to go at it without any dinners and wine or commitment is just not as common as the other way around. If anybody wants it they’ll go for it without any ifs or buts. Anybody who is really hungry won’t be asking if their food is gluten free, how many calories it has, and so on. They’ll just go for it and eat. Generally speaking who usually shows that kind of hunger for sex is men. There are exceptions of course.
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They know they can't keep up with women, so they have to create this mythology and work hard to support it, to feel better about themselves
I am yet to hear men complain as much as women about their girl wanting sex often or crying because they were used for sex. Where are you hearing men are angry, uncomfortable, feeling used, etc. because their girl wants too much sex? It is actually the other way around. Also, the threads around here talking about giving sex too early, being used for sex, etc. are usually started by female posters. Reason why women are called the gatekeepers of sex, not men. I don't see how a man would complain because his girl wants sex often or feel "intimidated."
I'd agree that historically men (not all men and not you specifically) have been very afraid of female sexuality. A major tenet of most religions is about putting a lid on it. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what the allegory about Eve and the apple is altogether about.
I'd agree that historically men (not all men and not you specifically) have been very afraid of female sexuality. A major tenet of most religions is about putting a lid on it.
I am trying to grasp the idea of men being afraid of a woman who wants sex for the reasons I already mentioned. That wouldn’t make sense especially when it is observed how women are afraid to admit things of sexual nature or even talk about it while guys are comfortable to even joke about their own sexuality. A woman would hardly admit she masturbates, she has one night stands, she has had a large number of partners, etc. It’s nothing new to see how men and women usually have those different attitudes about their sexuality. I agree on how religion can also play a role on women being afraid and/or ashamed of their own sexuality.
I'd agree that historically men (not all men and not you specifically) have been very afraid of female sexuality. A major tenet of most religions is about putting a lid on it. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what the allegory about Eve and the apple is altogether about.
It's not even entirely historically--look at how some of our legislators discuss birth control and abortion rights (or, most telling, how they discuss the women who want birth control and abortion rights.)
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, saying the definition of sex drive is "unclear", also proves the whole issue is highly debatable. 