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No... Dancing, going to the movies, motorcycle riding... And if he's brave enough.... taking him flying. LOL
(Just to mention a few "fun" things to do).
It's possible to meet the right person at the wrong time. There have been times when I thought I was ready to date, but when reality hit, something had to give. There was a time when I was working 2 jobs, studying & trying to date. It just didn't work but I didn't realise it until a few weeks into doing all 3. I was exhausted & cranky & didn't think it fair to try & start a relationship at that point.
Someone can be offered a once in a lifetime opportunity soon after they have just met someone. It would be insane to leave the opportunity in order to pursue a new relationship where nothing is guaranteed. You might end up without the job & without a relationship so it makes sense to end things before becoming too emotionally entangled.
That said, some statements are just a polite way of rejection so you'ld have to look at each circumstance individually.
Most of us have had significant others - potential, committed, or otherwise - break off relationships. In the past, I've heard the following excuses:
I'm not ready for a relationship now.
Am I gonna lose you too?
I'm too fragile.
I want to protect my heart.
I'm not ready to share again.
I don't want to lose myself.
After hearing such, one would wonder. Say you've been with someone for a brief time. You met, there was chemistry, you've hooked up, slept together, etc. Then one day, BAM! She (or he, if you're a female) told you one of the above. Is it real, or just a cop-out?
Honestly, to me, several of these sound like deliberate drama just for the excitement, and several sound more like flat-out "I'm trying to let you down easily, but no, I really don't want to date you/have more with you".
The "I'm not ready for a relationship now" usually comes up before anything gets off the ground, so they're not really a significant other. IME it comes up when you're asking for a number or for a first date. The rest of them, except for #2, are all the same one, different versions. I've never heard those, they're strange. They sound flakey and nonsensical. Those must be what women who are afraid to be honest and say "I'm not feeling it" or "I'm not that into you" say instead.
The "I'm not ready for a relationship now" usually comes up before anything gets off the ground, so they're not really a significant other. IME it comes up when you're asking for a number or for a first date. The rest of them, except for #2, are all the same one, different versions. I've never heard those, they're strange. They sound flakey and nonsensical. Those must be what women who are afraid to be honest and say "I'm not feeling it" or "I'm not that into you" say instead.
I was going to say something similar. Some of those reasons really sound like reasons given by people who are afraid to just tell you they aren't interested. Or maybe they just think those reasons will be easier on the person they are breaking up with. Sad thing is even if the person is thinking they are letting someone down easy with those words, they really aren't. Those kinds of excuses don't give closure to the other person. I think if you break up with someone you should be straight forward and honest about it, even if it makes you feel bad. That seems like the right thing to do.
Last edited by BellaLind; 03-01-2016 at 11:28 PM..
Those must be what women who are afraid to be honest and say "I'm not feeling it" or "I'm not that into you" say instead.
No one wants to explain why they aren't into someone, especially if all they're going on is a subjective opinion or gut feeling. It's easier and less hurtful to conclude that if someone is "not ready" to be in a relationship [with you] that they don't want to be browbeaten over the issue.
The OP needs to stop whining and accept the fact these women don't want to date him.
No one wants to explain why they aren't into someone, especially if all they're going on is a subjective opinion or gut feeling. It's easier and less hurtful to conclude that if someone is "not ready" to be in a relationship [with you] that they don't want to be browbeaten over the issue.
The OP needs to stop whining and accept the fact these women don't want to date him.
Lol!!! Omg harsh!
But yes either one likes to let you down nicely. And you think oh its him or her that's messed up.
No one wants to explain why they aren't into someone, especially if all they're going on is a subjective opinion or gut feeling. It's easier and less hurtful to conclude that if someone is "not ready" to be in a relationship [with you] that they don't want to be browbeaten over the issue.
The OP needs to stop whining and accept the fact these women don't want to date him.
This is a good point. Many of us have had the experience more than once of being hounded for "reasons" when we have said "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested," and it extends an already pretty uncomfortable experience. It is also extremely intrusive - you're not "allowed" to be not interested unless the rejected party approves of your reasons. So throwing out some "It's not you, it's me" may be chosen instead simply to prevent all that.
If people would just take no for an answer then yes, we'd always be able to communicate situations like this to one another as adults.
Most of us have had significant others - potential, committed, or otherwise - break off relationships. In the past, I've heard the following excuses:
I'm not ready for a relationship now.
Am I gonna lose you too?
I'm too fragile.
I want to protect my heart.
I'm not ready to share again.
I don't want to lose myself.
After hearing such, one would wonder. Say you've been with someone for a brief time. You met, there was chemistry, you've hooked up, slept together, etc. Then one day, BAM! She (or he, if you're a female) told you one of the above. Is it real, or just a cop-out?
It's real. It's just incomplete. The complete sentences are:
I'm not ready for a relationship now with you.
Am I gonna lose you too? Because I screw everything else up.
I'm too fragile to deal with you.
I want to protect my heart from you.
I'm not ready to share again with you.
I don't want to lose myself to you.
Painful, but there it is. When people meet people they REALLY want and like, they don't say things like this. They go for it, and damn the torpedoes. With the exception of the second one, about loss, which really doesn't fit the pattern, all of those things are really versions of "I'm just not that into you." They may like you, they may enjoy spending time with you, but they don't like you enough to put all of themselves out there and invest in you. It sucks, but it happens to everyone.
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