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Once again, glib, quibbling...YOU used the term "welfare" to describe what was apparently food stamps - that you tell us after the fact as if we should be able to read your mind. The finer point is that you're getting SOME kind of assistance though you're fiercely proud that you're doing it on your own with no help from ANYONE.
You're running in smaller and smaller circles as your inconsistencies are pointed out. You need to stop lying, stop defending, shut your mouth, and start listening.
And stop perpetuating the stereotype of the inattentive single mom on public assistance making Facebook posts all day while the kids slurp sugar water.
Harsh, yes, but women who put men and related foolishness before the kids those men and related foolishness produce disgust me.
He is a good kid and I want him to be able to reach me if he needs help. He is 20 And has been living on his own for a good 5 years. I was once in his shoes.
Badgering a women who has repeatedly told you no is not a "good kid". It is a kid who oversteps boundaries. The fact that you don't understand simple boundary concepts is exactly your problem.
My struggles are not unique. I have lots of single friends that have the same results. One tried the single life for a year, she is going back to her husband because she didn't find anything better...lol
Of course your friends have the same struggles. That's why you are friends. They are just as dysfunctional as you. The fact that one thinks your ex is your soul mate and this one is going back to her ex just because she couldn't find someone better pretty much proves their dysfunctional thinking.
I brought it up because (since you refuse to leave your home town and the selection of men there seems to be dismal) it seems like you need to shake things up somehow.
You need to change the view. Meet new people. Online dating sucks, you already found that out yourself.
I agree with the above, especially the bold. Unfortunately, it's not as easy to do in a small town, but I do believe it would help LoL if she could find a way to expand her social circle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187
I think college would be helpful in improving her financial situation,
Not necessarily. If the area she lives in is truly small, there may not be a lot of job opportunities, skilled or unskilled. Quite frankly, though it doesn't sound like it's an option for her, I think her best bet is going to be a fresh start in a larger area where she has a larger dating pool to swim in and more opportunities to explore new hobbies, etc that would lead to her meeting new people. She's going to be stuck in a rut until she can change her environment, sadly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
My best friend is married and she thinks my ex is my soul mate, which is why it never works with anyone else. But clearly that has failed already. Not that we don't talk and get along.
I'm assuming you don't mean the one that tried to kill you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
My struggles are not unique. I have lots of single friends that have the same results.
I know almost no single men. I have a great friend and the other day I was trying to think of someone she would be good with and couldn't come up with anyone.
I think you and I are close in age - with you a couple years younger. I can emphasize with the above as I, and most of my girlfriends are in the same boat. Most of the single men I know are in their 20's or they are retired.
Slim pickings in our desired age range and I live in a large metro area. I have recently taken up a new hobby. It's primarily an older crowd, so the likelihood is I won't meet anyone there. But it's an entirely new circle of people for me to get to know and one of them may one day say "So I have this friend/brother/cousin..." and if not, it's a fun new hobby I'm really enjoying.
See an my friends that I have asked for honest opinions say that I am great. Why I am unmarried is baffling. I also like who I am and don't want to change to please anyone. Love me for me, not who you want me to be.
Nor do I want to change anyone else.
The only thing I might be changing soon is dyeing my hair. People are talking about my greys. They no longer hide well.
Are the people you're asking really your friends? Are they lying to you? This sounds just like when you say your therapists all think you're perfect. Are you lying to us? Because somebody's lying to someone!
Because...you're on here complaining all the time. I don't think you tell anyone the truth. I think you're so used to spinning a story that you can hardly tell the difference anymore and you're barely trying - that's why we hear the inconsistencies on here.
What's so telling is that you don't angrily refute people who call you on stuff, you just add a detail or two to change the story and continue.
Badgering a women who has repeatedly told you no is not a "good kid". It is a kid who oversteps boundaries. The fact that you don't understand simple boundary concepts is exactly your problem.
I am a people pleaser. I don't dismiss people from my life easily.
Of course your friends have the same struggles. That's why you are friends. They are just as dysfunctional as you. The fact that one thinks your ex is your soul mate and this one is going back to her ex just because she couldn't find someone better pretty much proves their dysfunctional thinking.
We go over this often. Most of my friends have been friends since preschool. We're we really all dysfunctional then? Seriously?
My ex and I have had a strong bond for decades. He is dysfunctional, who will admit it and that is why we are not a couple. I can't make him be stable and loyal. Dysfunction would be me trying to fix him. I gave that up a long time ago.
I really am not a bad person that you make me out to be.
We go over this often. Most of my friends have been friends since preschool. We're we really all dysfunctional then? Seriously?
My ex and I have had a strong bond for decades. He is dysfunctional, who will admit it and that is why we are not a couple. I can't make him be stable and loyal. Dysfunction would be me trying to fix him. I gave that up a long time ago.
I really am not a bad person that you make me out to be.
The people you grew up with who are not like you dropped out of your friend pool a long time ago. Emotionally healthy people are not going to continue to be friends with you. Your posts are fun and entertaining in a watching a trainwreck kind of way, but almost everyone here who is emotionally together that responds to your posts would probably avoid you in real life.
Dysfunction would also be staying with someone who is dysfunctional.
You are not bad, but you are responsible for your choices that come from your lack of boundaries and the outcomes of those choices. People keep telling you that, but you never hear.
Of course your friends have the same struggles. That's why you are friends. They are just as dysfunctional as you. The fact that one thinks your ex is your soul mate and this one is going back to her ex just because she couldn't find someone better pretty much proves their dysfunctional thinking.
This. This, goddammit, this.
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