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Old 03-07-2016, 09:40 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,913 posts, read 2,432,452 times
Reputation: 4005

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimBrown333 View Post
Hi All.


This is my first thread (still fairly new to the message boards), I wanted to explain my situation and get some feedback on it. I am 29 years old (I will be turning 30 in December) and I have never had a girlfriend,kissed a girl or done anything with one in the past. I do not have a problem talking to girls or making friends with them and I am sure if I tried to I could get dates with them, here is where my situation differs from most. As I have gotten older I have learned a lot about my self and one of the things I have learned about myself is how I want to live my life, I do not want to get married, Have kids or live with a future girlfriend (i need my space). Sometimes I feel like I could make an attempt to get to know a girl but then I think to myself and I assume most woman want one of the three things I am against and decide not to take it down that road. I was curious to hear from anyone who would like to comment, with how I want to live my life is it worth the time to ever make the effort with woman or not even worry about.
I never wanted to get married or have kids either and never did with no regrets. I'll be honest, I think it will be hard to find women in your age bracket who don't want marriage/kids, though they do exist. In my age bracket, it was much easier. Have you tried OLD? It's much easier to find someone who wants the same things you do since you can easily filter out ones who don't. In any case, if you are happy with your decision than continue, and don't worry about what others think. It's your life.
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Old 03-07-2016, 10:33 AM
 
405 posts, read 240,011 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
I never wanted to get married or have kids either and never did with no regrets. I'll be honest, I think it will be hard to find women in your age bracket who don't want marriage/kids, though they do exist. In my age bracket, it was much easier. Have you tried OLD? It's much easier to find someone who wants the same things you do since you can easily filter out ones who don't. In any case, if you are happy with your decision than continue, and don't worry about what others think. It's your life.


If you do not mind me asking what is your age bracket?. you are right about it being hard to find one that doesn't want those things lol, I have never tried online Dating as I am very old fashioned when it comes to meeting woman (meet them in person, court them, pick them up for dates etc. with online dating with the "cat fish" culture doesn't really mesh with how I do the dating process) you are right though it would make it easier with filtering. As I have gotten older I care less about what others think and I am now at the point where I do not care at all. Overall I am happy with my life and if sticking to my values means I remain single, I will never compromise myself for others.
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Old 03-07-2016, 10:57 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,913 posts, read 2,432,452 times
Reputation: 4005
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimBrown333 View Post
If you do not mind me asking what is your age bracket?. you are right about it being hard to find one that doesn't want those things lol, I have never tried online Dating as I am very old fashioned when it comes to meeting woman (meet them in person, court them, pick them up for dates etc. with online dating with the "cat fish" culture doesn't really mesh with how I do the dating process) you are right though it would make it easier with filtering. As I have gotten older I care less about what others think and I am now at the point where I do not care at all. Overall I am happy with my life and if sticking to my values means I remain single, I will never compromise myself for others.
I'm 49.
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Old 03-07-2016, 11:03 AM
 
405 posts, read 240,011 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
I'm 49.


That definitely makes it easier lol.
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Old 03-07-2016, 11:06 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,913 posts, read 2,432,452 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimBrown333 View Post
That definitely makes it easier lol.
Yes, especially where I live.
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Old 03-07-2016, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,627 posts, read 34,119,900 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimBrown333 View Post
Well Said, I used the word "Unique" based on for the most part that is what most people do Date, Move in together, Get married and have kids, buy a house. I think it is rare/unique to not want most of this and I understand myself to know and realize this. and you are correct I want a meaningful relationship (which goes along with why I am a virgin, I do not believe in hooking up otherwise I wouldn't be a virgin anymore as I have had plenty of opportunities).
While you could find plenty of women who aren't looking for marriage and children, what does a "meaningful relationship" look like to you that doesn't involve some sort of relationship progression? Just casual dating forever?
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Old 03-07-2016, 11:33 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,878,908 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimBrown333 View Post
Hi All.


This is my first thread (still fairly new to the message boards), I wanted to explain my situation and get some feedback on it. I am 29 years old (I will be turning 30 in December) and I have never had a girlfriend,kissed a girl or done anything with one in the past. I do not have a problem talking to girls or making friends with them and I am sure if I tried to I could get dates with them, here is where my situation differs from most. As I have gotten older I have learned a lot about my self and one of the things I have learned about myself is how I want to live my life, I do not want to get married, Have kids or live with a future girlfriend (i need my space). Sometimes I feel like I could make an attempt to get to know a girl but then I think to myself and I assume most woman want one of the three things I am against and decide not to take it down that road. I was curious to hear from anyone who would like to comment, with how I want to live my life is it worth the time to ever make the effort with woman or not even worry about.
Anytime you have a romantic interest in a woman, put your values on the table relatively soon. Eventually, you will find someone with matching values if you are being proactive about relating with women.
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Old 03-07-2016, 12:41 PM
 
237 posts, read 223,290 times
Reputation: 947
All of what you want is attainable, now more than ever, in today's times. With women able to support themselves and have access to reliable birth control, there is no longer the urgent need for them to marry for economic reasons. Plenty, however, still choose to marry for love and commitment. To be fair, you should state your desires not to marry, have children, or cohabitate very early in the relationship. It will save you and them a lot of time and future grief.

If you are certain you never want children, I would urge you to have a vasectomy to protect yourself from unintended pregnancy and future claims for child support. Check out some of the "child free" groups to find a like-minded female.
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Old 03-07-2016, 02:36 PM
 
405 posts, read 240,011 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
While you could find plenty of women who aren't looking for marriage and children, what does a "meaningful relationship" look like to you that doesn't involve some sort of relationship progression? Just casual dating forever?


that is why I used the word "Unique" it is going to take a special person to mesh with me, and I know that I am not trying to fool myself, I know my dating pool will be a small one, I still would like to think you can have a "meaningful" relationship without Kids,Marriage and co-habitation, maybe I am wrong.....

Last edited by JimBrown333; 03-07-2016 at 02:47 PM..
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Old 03-07-2016, 02:39 PM
 
405 posts, read 240,011 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
Anytime you have a romantic interest in a woman, put your values on the table relatively soon. Eventually, you will find someone with matching values if you are being proactive about relating with women.

I agree with this very much, on both of the dates I have been on in my life I always let the girl know my stance on Marriage and kids right off the bat. no surprises with me.
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