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Old 03-07-2016, 11:21 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,688,908 times
Reputation: 16655

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I don't get why so many people insist on confusing themselves when they like someone.

It's a "person"....not a big deal.
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Old 03-07-2016, 11:37 AM
 
Location: NYC
124 posts, read 104,945 times
Reputation: 172
He hit it and quit it little girly. Pretty easy to understand

Sounds like a seasoned alpha stud
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Old 03-07-2016, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,281,545 times
Reputation: 24248
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristen12 View Post
I'm going to make a general reply since I'm getting the same reactions.
So when I met him, I had my guard up because I've been hurt so many times and I knew there was heavy potential for that happening.
He wanted to hang out in no time of meeting me, I wanted to talk first and see how it went and then decide to hang out from there.
Conversations went well so I met up with him on Friday. We just went to eat.
Basically, it was such instant chemistry that he wanted a commitment up front.. He wanted me to be his girlfriend but I told him I needed a little more time and I thought we should get to know each other. He texted me that night about how he could see himself with me for a long time, wanted me to go all in because he was going to out all his effort into making sure it would work out with me, ect. He also texted me the next morning that he wanted to see me.
We hung out at his place. He has a DUI and can't drive his car off base so I had to come to him or have a friend bring him to me. Saturday I went to his house. It's kinda like a college dorm room.

You already said all of the above

There's literally nothing to do so we watched TV and he was not going to try anything because he knew I didn't want a relationship based on sex and he really did respect me.
Based on what you detail below, this is not true. He did want a "relationship" based on sex and only sex. Uhmmm...respect wasn't part of it.


Well he asked if he could kiss me and things basically just took off from there. We did everything but sex... In fact without getting too TMI he put his thing in me unprotected, but he is very gifted in that area and we had some technical issues since it had been a while for me, and I wanted him to stop since we had no protection and he did.

Last time I checked the dictionary, the above describes sex. I don't know what your definition is. BTW--there is NO such thing as being "gifted" enough to prevent disease without a condom and no such thing as being "gifted" enough to prevent pregnancy without birth control. Be careful unless you want a baby with a stranger or a disease from a stranger.

After that he asked me to be his girlfriend, I gave the same reply but told him I really liked him and he said things like 'I know we'll have a great relationship I'm not going anywhere' AFTER the fooling around happened.
He walked me to my car and texted me immediately after like he always did and then went out with friends.

Some males will do this because it makes them feel like they aren't being a jerk.You found one of these.

Heard nothing yesterday and nothing today.
I wasn't the one that went into anything being serious, he literally initiated everything in that way.
I can't understand why someone would ask me to be their girlfriend 48 hours ago and then say nothing, even when I've tried to check on him.

Why do you think that is? Perhaps because he understood that he might have to say some nice words to get what he really wanted.

He knows I'm on his Facebook and he's still posting.
Because he really doesn't care about you.

I know it hasn't been that long of knowing him, but you can feel something with someone having known them very little time. Even with so many differences I connected with him in a way I never have with anyone.
He knows I've been hurt in the past so for him to care about me and then act this way is not making sense. What could possibly be wrong? I just wish there was something I could do. I just want to know what's going on. I don't need constant communication and if I knew everything was alright I wouldn't even bother with needing to hear from him the past couple days.
I don't know what possibly could have happened but I feel sick over it. I promised to never let my guard down but he wanted me to, and it felt right to.
I'm just confused and upset and I really need an answer.
You seem to lack understanding of human nature and are very naive. I think you do not understand, or misinterpret people. He's quite the manipulator.
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Old 03-07-2016, 11:57 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,889,578 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristen12 View Post
I'm going to make a general reply since I'm getting the same reactions.
So when I met him, I had my guard up because I've been hurt so many times and I knew there was heavy potential for that happening.
He wanted to hang out in no time of meeting me, I wanted to talk first and see how it went and then decide to hang out from there.
Conversations went well so I met up with him on Friday. We just went to eat.
Basically, it was such instant chemistry that he wanted a commitment up front.. He wanted me to be his girlfriend but I told him I needed a little more time and I thought we should get to know each other. He texted me that night about how he could see himself with me for a long time, wanted me to go all in because he was going to out all his effort into making sure it would work out with me, ect. He also texted me the next morning that he wanted to see me.
Mistake #1- You fell for him being into you so fast. This is a huge red flag.


Quote:
We hung out at his place.
Mistake #2- You hung out at his place before doing things and getting to know him first.


Quote:
He has a DUI and can't drive his car off base so I had to come to him or have a friend bring him to me.
Mistake #3- He as a DUI.


Quote:
Saturday I went to his house. It's kinda like a college dorm room.
There's literally nothing to do so we watched TV and he was not going to try anything because he knew I didn't want a relationship based on sex and he really did respect me.
Mistake #4- You fell for his line of bs.

Quote:
Well he asked if he could kiss me and things basically just took off from there. We did everything but sex... In fact without getting too TMI he put his thing in me unprotected, but he is very gifted in that area and we had some technical issues since it had been a while for me, and I wanted him to stop since we had no protection and he did.
Mistake #5- Apparently you don't understand what constitutes sex.


Quote:
After that he asked me to be his girlfriend, I gave the same reply but told him I really liked him and he said things like 'I know we'll have a great relationship I'm not going anywhere' AFTER the fooling around happened.
Mistake #6- You told him you don't want to be his girlfriend after having sex with him.

Quote:
I can't understand why someone would ask me to be their girlfriend 48 hours ago and then say nothing, even when I've tried to check on him.
Because he played your and knew exactly what to say to you.

Quote:
I know it hasn't been that long of knowing him, but you can feel something with someone having known them very little time. Even with so many differences I connected with him in a way I never have with anyone.
Mistake #7- Thinking the above.

Quote:
He knows I've been hurt in the past so for him to care about me and then act this way is not making sense. What could possibly be wrong? I just wish there was something I could do. I just want to know what's going on. I don't need constant communication and if I knew everything was alright I wouldn't even bother with needing to hear from him the past couple days.
This makes perfect sense, actually. Women who have been hurt in the past often pick guys who will hurt them in the future. The more chemistry you feel with a guy, the more likely he will be to hurt you



Quote:
I don't know what possibly could have happened but I feel sick over it. I promised to never let my guard down but he wanted me to, and it felt right to.
I'm just confused and upset and I really need an answer.
Your answer is to go to therapy to deal with the issues from your parents that cause you to pick guys like this.
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Old 03-07-2016, 12:06 PM
 
1,619 posts, read 1,095,314 times
Reputation: 3233
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristen12 View Post
he put his thing in me unprotected
Seriously? After knowing him for only a week? LOL SMDH Have some respect for yourself. Why would you let him do that? Why would you do anything sexually with him after only knowing him for a week? He was probably trying to hit it and quit it and he is on to the next by now.
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Old 03-07-2016, 12:10 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,889,578 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by pretty in black View Post
Seriously? After knowing him for only a week? LOL SMDH Have some respect for yourself. Why would you let him do that? Why would you do anything sexually with him after only knowing him for a week? He was probably trying to hit it and quit it and he is on to the next by now.

If a guy has sex with a woman after knowing her for a week, does that mean he doesn't respect himself?
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Old 03-07-2016, 12:15 PM
 
182 posts, read 118,418 times
Reputation: 260
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristen12 View Post
In fact without getting too TMI he put his thing in me unprotected, but he is very gifted in that area and we had some technical issues since it had been a while for me, and I wanted him to stop since we had no protection and he did. .
OMG, so, for real. It sounds like this guy played "just the tip" with you...

How old are you? You fell for that?
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Old 03-07-2016, 12:16 PM
 
1,619 posts, read 1,095,314 times
Reputation: 3233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
If a guy has sex with a woman after knowing her for a week, does that mean he doesn't respect himself?
Of course it does. They are both nasty but since she is the one who is on here crying, I am addressing her lack of self respect.
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Old 03-07-2016, 12:24 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,889,578 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by pretty in black View Post
Of course it does. They are both nasty but since she is the one who is on here crying, I am addressing her lack of self respect.
Why does having sex with someone after knowing him or her have to do with self-respect? What level of sexual contact after a week indicates that a person would still have self-respect? Kissing? Fondling?
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Old 03-07-2016, 12:28 PM
 
182 posts, read 118,418 times
Reputation: 260
I think "within a week" seems kind of arbitrary.

In one relationship I had, I met this girl online, we had almost 2 weeks of chatting and skype before our first real in-person date. Which was on a Friday. We hit it off super well, and in the next week, had 2 more dates. We had sex on the third date, but it was within a week. I didn't have any loss of respect for her. The relationship lasted over a year.

About the only time I lose respect for a woman under these situations is if it's a one night stand thing at a bar or if she gives it up on the first date
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