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I don't associate intensity with slave-driving, either.
Oh, slave-driving is such a negative word. I prefer the much kinder, gentler "Inspirational." As I tell CEOs whom I consult for, "Never ask somebody to do something that you're not willing to do yourself, plus another 10%." If they accept the assignment and agree to the price and the timeline, they have no room to complain.
When I think of intense personalities I think of an ex-business partner of mine. He was always the center of attention, demanded it, whether talking to me or our other partner, an employee, friend, U.S. senator, governor or you-name-it.
He was interesting, as he was passionate about his convictions and had strong opinions on any topic you'd bring up. He was a popular speaker, published author, well-known newspaper columnist and a driven businessman. He was overly confident and demanded near perfection from his employees and managers.
Whether he was skiing, playing tennis, or working, he went about it with passion and a high degree of energy. He lived his life on the edge, always competing with himself or others. He lived 200 miles from me, over a mountain range, but when he'd make the drive he'd often comment that he did it in two hours and X minutes. In the end he apparently pushed himself too hard, as he missed one of those mountain curves and was killed.
Our partnership had ended before that, however, as we were like fire and ice. His intensity, while attractive in small doses, became nerve-racking in large doses.
The last time I was told I was intense was by a claims adjuster form a customer's home owners insurance. He said they would not pay it, I said they would, they did.
the last time i was told i was intense was by a claims adjuster form a customer's home owners insurance. He said they would not pay it, i said they would, they did.:d:d:d
The last time I was told I was intense was by a claims adjuster form a customer's home owners insurance. He said they would not pay it, I said they would, they did.
What traits would you personally use to describe an intense personality?
Would you describe yourself as being an intense person? Has anyone else described you as being intense?
Do you feel that people who are intense have a harder time being in relationships or socializing than others? Why or why not?
Would you want your partner to be more or less intense as a personality overall?
Surprisingly, it's not easy to come across various opinions and info on this subject. I'll see a few things here and there on the internet about this topic through Google, but there's no definitive link or website that talks about this to a good degree.
Intense people are always on the edge of their seat, they toss in their sleep and wake to find a bed that looks like a battle zone. They see everything in bold print. Not only that, but they can see the hammer of the typewriter, hear it even, striking the page. When you tell them that someone is a nice, easy-going guy they stare at you with their mouths open, waiting for the point as that surely couldn't be all of it. They offend easily, they work night and day and party through the next night and day. They are never satisfied, they don't look at things that never were and ask why not, they demand to know why not and they're damn p.o.'ed about it. They don't get the niceties of life, they don't see the point. They are often frustrated by the lax attitudes they see in others, and while they simply do not understand, they secretly envy someone capable of that kind of grace in their lives. Under it all there is often a altruistic spirit that can't accept the inequities or mediocrities of life...
They are not good acquaintances, unless having already marked you as not one of them, they are playing you. But they are the truest friends you will find. They will be heroes in the low times and will often cause a ruckus, find conflict when we are all supposed to be just having a nice time. They bore quickly and though the evolved ones will allow you your inanities they will also be on their way out the backdoor and into the night, in search of more problematic, urgent matters.
Casual socializing baffles them. The good ones accept everyone alright, the friendly neighbor who is constantly offended by their rebuffs, and they can be hurt by such characterizations as aloof and standoffish, but they've learned to console themselves that though they are not everyone's fare, if they have to choose between being 'nice' and being 'good', that is an easy choice to make. Too often they've been disappointed by surface niceness, when they find that it is empty, hypocritical, cowardly and phony is how I think they'd see it.
My SO, if she were more intense, we never would have made it. I've been in relationships like that and they were a constant stream of explosions. As fun as they were, they did not make for harmonious domesticity.
What traits would you personally use to describe an intense personality?
Would you describe yourself as being an intense person? Has anyone else described you as being intense?
Do you feel that people who are intense have a harder time being in relationships or socializing than others? Why or why not?
Would you want your partner to be more or less intense as a personality overall?
there are certain phrases people use to describe themselves that I find really stomach-turning, because of the drama and attitude and excuses for not learning decent social skills that go along with them. these phrases are:
people who call themselves "so sensitive"
people who say "she gets me" (as if they are so complex and intriguing and beyond normal mere mortal comprehension)
people who say they are "intense"
followed closely by people who say since they are "so intelligent" it causes others to have trouble relating to them
the problem i have is that people tend to use that as an excuse for not being able to work well with others, play well with others, or function well in relationships. they suffer from terminal uniqueness oh woe is them, put the hand on the forehead and sigh dramatically
if someone got that dramatic tone in their voice and said to me "i have diabetes" and then expected all sorts of oohs and aahs and special treatment for their own particular brand of terminal uniqueness, i'd feel like saying 'get over it.' if you've got a condition, get treatment.
so anyone who fobs off their inability or unwillingness to develop basic skills in interrelating, or considers themselves aobve and beyond the masses of peons, i say get off the high horse, we're all in this together, you're not as special as you think you are, get on with your life and stop making excuses.
people who say "she gets me" (as if they are so complex and intriguing and beyond normal mere mortal comprehension)
I don't think people say this to boast about how complex and intriguing they are. The truth is that very few people really "get" one another and everybody longs for this feeling, so I see nothing wrong with it. Then again, I might be one of those your post is dedicated to...
I don't think people say this to boast about how complex and intriguing they are. The truth is that very few people really "get" one another and everybody longs for this feeling, so I see nothing wrong with it. Then again, I might be one of those your post is dedicated to...
Yep. All people have their odd little quirks. Sometimes it takes a special person to understand it.
so anyone who fobs off their inability or unwillingness to develop basic skills in interrelating, or considers themselves aobve and beyond the masses of peons, i say get off the high horse, we're all in this together, you're not as special as you think you are, get on with your life and stop making excuses.
I don't think it's always an excuse or trying to seem special....but people are different & that can cause problems, and so sometimes giving other people a heads up on a certain personality trait helps ease friction. I often tell people I am shy and can be intense, that way they don't misinterpret my shyness as being aloof or get offended by any intensity. I recognize there are negative sides to these traits, but there's good things that go along with them too, and it's taken me time to appreciate my own personality. Once I tell other people this, it really saves us all from misunderstandings. Conversely, I try and give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their behavior, and if everyone did that then maybe using labels like "intense" or whatever may not be as necessary.
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