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I've known for awhile he was into it. But we're in a LDR and it's hard for me to know how much he was into it. So he's confessed and I told him ill support him in any way to help him through it.
Thing is every time we try to talk about it we start arguing. He got mad at me for looking at a puppy instead of him while we talked about it once. I get it, I need to focus on him, but he wouldn't budge his anger after i apologized. He got mad at me for saying "I don't think i'll ever understand" which i quickly apologized for and said ill try my best and I aim to understand but he was still just as upset. Today, I read some stuff and advised him to try and hang out with others more or get a new hobby. I also admitted I was hurt that he waited so long to tell me and that he looked at these porno girls so much, but that i supported him and that we'll get through it together. He still gets upset with me saying I'm being sarcastic and that this isn't about trust (which i think it is bc it took him years to admit this to me).
Am I going about this all wrong? Should I avoid talking about how this is affecting me? Do you have any suggestions to help him? I'm trying my best here and I feel out of options.. I do plan on visiting him soon for a few days and hopefully keep us busy and away from the computer, i hope that helps..
I don't understand the whole "help him" thing. All men watch porn in some amount. The ones who say they don't are lying. Does the guy never leave the house because he's glued to porn 24x7? That, he'd need help with.
You could always use it to your advantage and suggest you watch some together as foreplay. If you're coming at this with an "all porn is evil" attitude, your best bet is to become a lesbian because you're going to have a tough time finding any guy who has never looked at porn.
He told me he was addicted. He told me he felt it was getting to the point where he was seeing reality in a really negative light. He told me he's trying to watch less. So im trying to help him watch less because he seems pretty convicted thats what he wants. I realize porn isnt all evil. Never said that. Just trying to help my boyfriend.
Sounds like he's wanting YOU to do something that will magically fix him. You haven't defined his addiction - is it an hour a day, 4, 8? How does it affect him - social or work-wise? What's the impact on you?
And why are you in an LDR? Were you ever in the same location? You may need to think about what you want and what is realistic in this relationship before getting in too deep with HIS issues.
Between your previous thread and this my suggestion is to walk away and don't look back. You're really young and you'll meet many more guys.
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