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For the first 25-ish years of my life I didn't try. Nothing came to me. Then after trying really hard (or so I thought) for a few years (strictly OLD), I finally found someone.
That relationship has since ended and after some time to myself, I feel ready to find it again. I've been trying pretty hard again for a few months (I know that's not THAT long) but I still feel like I'm getting nowhere.
Friends have told me to just stop. Especially the online dating, which I'm finding frustrating and a waste of my time. But I literally have never met anyone any other way. They say that when I just stop, I'll find someone.
It's never worked for me before, why would it work now?
I could be wrong, but I've always thought the intent behind that statement was to say that people can get SO focused on a goal that they miss other opportunities around them.
Sure there's truth that you have a better chance of stumbling into someone that you had surprise chemistry with, yet you still have to put forth effort for that development to grow. Also, people just change their minds too. They may be into you one day, go to bed, and wake up and not be into you as much. When you're talking about dating, it can be really complex for some and has easy as getting a drink of water for others.
I could be wrong, but I've always thought the intent behind that statement was to say that people can get SO focused on a goal that they miss other opportunities around them.
In addition, trying TOO hard can add an air of desperation, which isn't attractive on anybody. Those who have "stopped trying", so to speak, are less likely to have that aura about them.
The meaning behind that statement is to focus on other things while at the same time...being open to meeting someone.
Don't go out expecting to meet someone or with the soul purpose of finding someone. You cannot force love to happen no matter how much you want to. In my own personal experience.....I genuinely stopped worrying about it and have gotten to the point of not really caring anymore.
If I come across someone I like, cool. If not, that's fine too. There is more to life than relationships.
Isn't the saying "when you stop trying too hard it will come to you?" I guess there are different versions of the same saying. But the truth is, especially for a guy, that you don't want to come out desperate or needy when dating. On other hand a needy but non crazy woman could be a turn on. But if someone just sits at home and watches TV then nothing will come to him/her. I think this saying means that you should try to have fun with dating/friends, enjoy different activities, interact with people and there could be a spark with someone...
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