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Old 03-10-2016, 01:48 PM
 
Location: NYC
124 posts, read 105,292 times
Reputation: 172

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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
A great person and great husband would care that his wife is crying herself to sleep.
Exactly and they wouldn't block you out and not let you in on different areas
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Old 03-10-2016, 01:55 PM
 
2,936 posts, read 2,334,617 times
Reputation: 6690
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Shw911 View Post
I did not marry a concept. I did marry a person, a person that is my person, someone worthy in my eyes. There is no concept of a marriage. That's not how my brain and heart work....so your answer is extremely confusing.
Marriages and relationships work because we want then to work, yes, and we do everything willingly and lovingly to make so successfully, obviously going both ways.
Obviously you and him have a huge disconnect, it doesn't seem like your sex drives and need for intimacy are in sync. He also doesn't seem to want to work on it, he's okay with it this way. If you aren't, you need to speak up. 5 years is a long time to just go along with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Shw911 View Post
What doesn't make sense to you?
Hes a great person all and all, great husband in all aspects but the physical and affective areas....
If he's such a great husband why can't you sit down and talk about this?
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Old 03-10-2016, 01:59 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,906,644 times
Reputation: 8595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Shw911 View Post
What doesn't make sense to you?
Hes a great person all and all, great husband in all aspects but the physical and affective areas....
How was the physical and affection part of your relationship before you got married?
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Old 03-10-2016, 02:04 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,764 posts, read 19,972,298 times
Reputation: 43163
He is in his 60s, of course he is no young stallion anymore who gets it on all the time.


But he should be warm and caring otherwise.


Have a talk with him..?
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Old 03-10-2016, 02:06 PM
 
7 posts, read 7,102 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks...I appreciate it
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Old 03-14-2016, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,613,441 times
Reputation: 5446
Mrs.Shw911 -
when you have that talk to him, listen to what he tells you.
If he's suffering - as I expect he is - from ED - it's a tough blow to ones ego. The last thing he'll want to do is tell you that. If his drive is down - and nothing is up - it's a rough hit to a mans ego... He's disappointed in himself - not being able to please you -
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Old 03-26-2016, 07:33 AM
 
2,135 posts, read 5,489,872 times
Reputation: 3146
I love how when it's a woman not getting sex people are like "divorce him, you deserve much better!" When a guy posts this kinda thing (she won't have sex with me anymore) he needs to improve himself to where she wants him again or he should "get over himself and accept her for who she is!" Double standard much?

Also the part about being "very young" and in your 40s was the best. If she is very young, I am an infant lol
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Old 03-26-2016, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,372,564 times
Reputation: 50380
You not only have cultural differences you have generational (you're 20 years younger) and likely socioeconomic differences since you grew up in the city. Don't you know that rural, older, white men will NOT generally be as expressive as a young Hispanic/Latino woman?

Sure, he was happy at the start at his good luck to meet you but apparently you didn't have a long enough courtship to get past that honeymoon phase and see the real him...THIS is the REAL guy. If you can't live with it then you should leave while you still have good years. Sorry, but you'll likely be a young widow anyway.
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Old 03-26-2016, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,525 posts, read 34,851,331 times
Reputation: 73759
Quote:
Originally Posted by YaFace View Post
I love how when it's a woman not getting sex people are like "divorce him, you deserve much better!" When a guy posts this kinda thing (she won't have sex with me anymore) he needs to improve himself to where she wants him again or he should "get over himself and accept her for who she is!" Double standard much?

Also the part about being "very young" and in your 40s was the best. If she is very young, I am an infant lol






I just read one third of the replies (first page) and literally, NO ONE said that.


What does happen on a regular basis is you showing up saying stuff like that, with no basis.
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Old 03-26-2016, 12:51 PM
 
20 posts, read 13,229 times
Reputation: 31
Being in your 40's and he is in his 60's becomes only a problem if you guys are not in the same page... how often do you need him to be intimate? he is not young anymore and at this stage sometimes they just want companionship, he maybe over with intimacy but seems like you're not, you need to sit down with him and be open and just discussed this as 2 adults, hey, I would like to have my needs met, there are different ways to satisfy that need he can provide that with alternatives but you both need to talk about it. It's a marriage, its a partnersip. maybe its not rejection sometimes men are just not into it, yeah,yeah, all you other guys there will be shocked but there are men like that...was married to one... asked him nicely if there is anything at all you can do to spice up the relationship..
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