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I did not marry a concept. I did marry a person, a person that is my person, someone worthy in my eyes. There is no concept of a marriage. That's not how my brain and heart work....so your answer is extremely confusing.
Marriages and relationships work because we want then to work, yes, and we do everything willingly and lovingly to make so successfully, obviously going both ways.
Obviously you and him have a huge disconnect, it doesn't seem like your sex drives and need for intimacy are in sync. He also doesn't seem to want to work on it, he's okay with it this way. If you aren't, you need to speak up. 5 years is a long time to just go along with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Shw911
What doesn't make sense to you?
Hes a great person all and all, great husband in all aspects but the physical and affective areas....
If he's such a great husband why can't you sit down and talk about this?
Mrs.Shw911 -
when you have that talk to him, listen to what he tells you.
If he's suffering - as I expect he is - from ED - it's a tough blow to ones ego. The last thing he'll want to do is tell you that. If his drive is down - and nothing is up - it's a rough hit to a mans ego... He's disappointed in himself - not being able to please you -
I love how when it's a woman not getting sex people are like "divorce him, you deserve much better!" When a guy posts this kinda thing (she won't have sex with me anymore) he needs to improve himself to where she wants him again or he should "get over himself and accept her for who she is!" Double standard much?
Also the part about being "very young" and in your 40s was the best. If she is very young, I am an infant lol
You not only have cultural differences you have generational (you're 20 years younger) and likely socioeconomic differences since you grew up in the city. Don't you know that rural, older, white men will NOT generally be as expressive as a young Hispanic/Latino woman?
Sure, he was happy at the start at his good luck to meet you but apparently you didn't have a long enough courtship to get past that honeymoon phase and see the real him...THIS is the REAL guy. If you can't live with it then you should leave while you still have good years. Sorry, but you'll likely be a young widow anyway.
I love how when it's a woman not getting sex people are like "divorce him, you deserve much better!" When a guy posts this kinda thing (she won't have sex with me anymore) he needs to improve himself to where she wants him again or he should "get over himself and accept her for who she is!" Double standard much?
Also the part about being "very young" and in your 40s was the best. If she is very young, I am an infant lol
I just read one third of the replies (first page) and literally, NO ONE said that.
What does happen on a regular basis is you showing up saying stuff like that, with no basis.
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Being in your 40's and he is in his 60's becomes only a problem if you guys are not in the same page... how often do you need him to be intimate? he is not young anymore and at this stage sometimes they just want companionship, he maybe over with intimacy but seems like you're not, you need to sit down with him and be open and just discussed this as 2 adults, hey, I would like to have my needs met, there are different ways to satisfy that need he can provide that with alternatives but you both need to talk about it. It's a marriage, its a partnersip. maybe its not rejection sometimes men are just not into it, yeah,yeah, all you other guys there will be shocked but there are men like that...was married to one... asked him nicely if there is anything at all you can do to spice up the relationship..
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