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Since he only lived in apartments, he might not care about a yard. Therefore, he doesn't feel like taking care of it. Since you wanted a house with yard, you'll be stuck with it. No offense, but that sounds plausible. Not everybody likes the additional work that comes with owning a house.
Yep, we have a condo and don't have a yard. I'm in the future looking to get a house but I sometimes wonder if I want to deal with all of the extras that a house comes with. It's not just the yard, it's everything. The HOA takes care of a lot of stuff around here and I'm a little spoiled at times. LOL
I was engaged until a couple weeks ago, the agreement I had with my fiance in the almost 3 years we lived together was that I would pay the mortgage and everything associated with that (about $1100/month), she would pay all utilities (about $200-$400 per month) and we would split "food and other expenses" about 50/50.
I live in a suburban community in a ~2000 square foot house with a decent sized front and back yard.
As far as work around the house, the agreement was, I did most of the yardwork and "outside chores", she would do the majority of the inside cleaning. This did not really end up happening, as I did most of the outside stuff and a fair amount of inside stuff. We both did our own laundry. We cooked about 50/50, and whomever did not cook did dishes most of the time.
It worked for us.
I also made more than twice what she did, so the financial arrangement seemed equitable.
I was engaged until a couple weeks ago, the agreement I had with my fiance in the almost 3 years we lived together was that I would pay the mortgage and everything associated with that (about $1100/month), she would pay all utilities (about $200-$400 per month) and we would split "food and other expenses" about 50/50.
I live in a suburban community in a ~2000 square foot house with a decent sized front and back yard.
As far as work around the house, the agreement was, I did most of the yardwork and "outside chores", she would do the majority of the inside cleaning. This did not really end up happening, as I did most of the outside stuff and a fair amount of inside stuff. We both did our own laundry. We cooked about 50/50, and whomever did not cook did dishes most of the time.
It worked for us.
I also made more than twice what she did, so the financial arrangement seemed equitable.
I think something like this is pretty common. It's also pretty common for one spouse to make a lot more money than the other. So things can be worked out if people give and take.
I think sometimes it's when people act like hard-ons about things is when you have problems.
This is a FEMALE posting about her Live in Boyfriend that proposed marriage to HER. I OWN my Home, and am a Single Working Mom. My Ex Husband is VERY responsible and takes care of OUR CHILD Financially, so my Live in BF is NOT taking care of my Daughter.
My current BF was living in an APARTMENT when I met him, is 50 Years old, and has never owned a Home.
I am NOT a Gold Digger, just a Woman who THOUGHT the Man in her life would STEP UP a little more after proposing marriage.
I am not looking for a Man to take care of me, but the scales just don't seem to be balancing here. I just wanted a MAN'S opinion.
I like to cook, clean, do the s$it around the house, and laundry. So split your accounts, get a common household account, and let the good times roll.
I think something like this is pretty common. It's also pretty common for one spouse to make a lot more money than the other. So things can be worked out if people give and take.
I think sometimes it's when people act like hard-ons about things is when you have problems.
This one guy I work with is completely nuts about finances. He charts out every monthly cost on a spreadsheet, I always hear him questioning his wife on purchases when the CC bill comes. it's nuts...
This one guy I work with is completely nuts about finances. He charts out every monthly cost on a spreadsheet, I always hear him questioning his wife on purchases when the CC bill comes. it's nuts...
I think money is one of the common things that causes strife and divorce for couples. I think it really helps when both parties are on the same page. I had a BIL and his wife was just a complete spender, I mean she took them to BK and her dumb parents bailed her out a few times over the yrs and now they are having problems in retirement, but whatever, that's their own fault.
Mrs. Chow and I are pretty much on the same page with spending, neither one of us goes nuts too often. I think people should have their own little slush fund fun money accounts too. If one person wants to blow money on stuff that is deemed frivolous by the other, fine, it doesn't affect the household then. But whatever, each couple needs to figure out what works for them.
This is a FEMALE posting about her Live in Boyfriend that proposed marriage to HER. I OWN my Home, and am a Single Working Mom. My Ex Husband is VERY responsible and takes care of OUR CHILD Financially, so my Live in BF is NOT taking care of my Daughter.
My current BF was living in an APARTMENT when I met him, is 50 Years old, and has never owned a Home.
I am NOT a Gold Digger, just a Woman who THOUGHT the Man in her life would STEP UP a little more after proposing marriage.
I am not looking for a Man to take care of me, but the scales just don't seem to be balancing here. I just wanted a MAN'S opinion.
OK, here is a MAN"S opinion: Move him back into an apartment, let him pay his own bills, and sign up for pre-marital counseling. The life-style you have described is not, IMO, sustainable.
As one who has been divorced twice and married three times, I can assure you that you do NOT want to go down that road! For your own good and the good of your child (and future children, if any), you need to be SURE that this relationship will last.
It may well be that, in order to protect YOUR assets, a prenuptial agreement is in order, even though, IMO, that is tantamount to saying "This relationship won't last, so I need protection."
I think money is one of the common things that causes strife and divorce for couples. I think it really helps when both parties are on the same page. I had a BIL and his wife was just a complete spender, I mean she took them to BK and her dumb parents bailed her out a few times over the yrs and now they are having problems in retirement, but whatever, that's their own fault.
Mrs. Chow and I are pretty much on the same page with spending, neither one of us goes nuts too often. I think people should have their own little slush fund fun money accounts too. If one person wants to blow money on stuff that is deemed frivolous by the other, fine, it doesn't affect the household then. But whatever, each couple needs to figure out what works for them.
Yeah, that's the sort of things you work through, and another reason why you live with someone before you marry them. Got to find out if they are an out of control spender... and have their finances in check.
Our finances are joint. Any and all money goes to whatever is in our budget for bills, misc. expenses, savings, etc. There is no dividing up monies where we each pay half of each bill. Nope.
And housework isn't really divided or delegated. I do a lot of the housework, but he does as well. If I say "Can you help me with X" or "Can you take care of Y." he does it. No complaints. We both do what needs to be done, but are pretty relaxed about it.
We also have kids that contribute to household chores.
I was taken care of my own yard when I met him. One of the things I thought was so sweet about him is the fact that he made the satatement " I'd be taking care of your yard if i were your man.!"
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