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Old 03-15-2016, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,283,321 times
Reputation: 50370

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
To me, if I'm looking for a girlfriend and have that as a SPECIFIC goal and a date doesn't work out, other than eliminating that person from consideration, I made no advancement towards that goal. That is frustrating to me.
And how many second and third dates do you go on?


I bet you grill them like you're filling a job that cost you $100k salary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What fun for her on that date...
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
And how many second and third dates do you go on?


I bet you grill them like you're filling a job that cost you $100k salary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What fun for her on that date...
No grilling here. I tend to let them talk and feel their vibe and typically they eliminate themselves or decide I'm not good enough for them and reject them. The dates NEVER end up being fun for me either.
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:17 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
Reputation: 62664
I wonder how much more frustrating it is going to be when you find the one who is *the one* for you and she goes down her lists of requirements and tosses you from the eligible pool in 60 seconds or less because *you* will not fulfill her requirement to move closer to her goal in life......
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,283,321 times
Reputation: 50370
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
No grilling here. I tend to let them talk and feel their vibe and typically they eliminate themselves or decide I'm not good enough for them and reject them. The dates NEVER end up being fun for me either.


Hmmmmm...does anyone else sense something wrong with Dissenter's entire attitude going into these dates....aside from the payment issue?


Again...how many second or third dates are you getting. This is not just based on HER being wrong, it means you're not PICKING the right ones to date in the first place or you suddenly are changing your requirements or attitude once on the date...if that happens EVERY time and you never get a second date you're never gonna get married.
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I wonder how much more frustrating it is going to be when you find the one who is *the one* for you and she goes down her lists of requirements and tosses you from the eligible pool in 60 seconds or less because *you* will not fulfill her requirement to move closer to her goal in life......
I may be p$&@ed about it but she is doing me a favor in that instance.
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:34 PM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,334,079 times
Reputation: 12295
Just to add to the fun, calling someone cheap and then saying that the comment isn't an insult is really disingenuous. Cheap, when applied to a person, is an insult.


Also, I freely open doors, get the car when it's raining, carry the heavy stuff, and pay for most activities in my relationship. Still, I wonder about this sometimes. Does thinking about something that appears to be a tradition that is pretty anachronistic make me cheap? Unmanly? Incapable of knowing when someone is insulting me, or disparages the stance I take in wondering about something? Can't people just disagree, or really just ask why something is so important? I mean, I'm doing the man thing pretty good really, but if I wonder about it I'm all kinds of nasty things


So anyway, can someone tell me:



1. Why it's the man's place to pay for first dates?
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:36 PM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,334,079 times
Reputation: 12295
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Hmmmmm...does anyone else sense something wrong with Dissenter's entire attitude going into these dates....aside from the payment issue?


Again...how many second or third dates are you getting. This is not just based on HER being wrong, it means you're not PICKING the right ones to date in the first place or you suddenly are changing your requirements or attitude once on the date...if that happens EVERY time and you never get a second date you're never gonna get married.
You think maybe you're a bit out of line making this personal? I don't happen to agree with much of what Dissenter says on this topic, but that's separate from his dating history.
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
You think maybe you're a bit out of line making this personal? I don't happen to agree with much of what Dissenter says on this topic, but that's separate from his dating history.
Seriously. I'm not going to answer her invasive question and give more ammo everyone here can fire at me.
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:50 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,784,008 times
Reputation: 4098
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
Just to add to the fun, calling someone cheap and then saying that the comment isn't an insult is really disingenuous. Cheap, when applied to a person, is an insult.


Also, I freely open doors, get the car when it's raining, carry the heavy stuff, and pay for most activities in my relationship. Still, I wonder about this sometimes. Does thinking about something that appears to be a tradition that is pretty anachronistic make me cheap? Unmanly? Incapable of knowing when someone is insulting me, or disparages the stance I take in wondering about something? Can't people just disagree, or really just ask why something is so important? I mean, I'm doing the man thing pretty good really, but if I wonder about it I'm all kinds of nasty things


So anyway, can someone tell me:



1. Why it's the man's place to pay for first dates?
Thank you for phrasing some of my thoughts better than I did.

Regarding your question: Though I don't like it, I can very clearly see why it's the case. I wouldn't say it's his "place", but rather his "chosen obligation", and women respond accordingly. And while I don't like that either, I can't blame them for it...I'd do the same if the situations were reversed (and I'm not in a good frame of mind to come up with an appropriate analogy).

Like you, I do most of the underlined. In some cases, it's because I'm a nice person. In others, I'm trying to make a good impression. And in others, it's simply a matter of remaining "competitive", so to speak. And there's plenty of crossover between those three. But apparently, showing dislike for the existing status quo warrants insults.
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Old 03-15-2016, 02:52 PM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,249,239 times
Reputation: 1734
can someone give cliffs of the 38 pages??
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