Should women pay their half early on? (neighbor, dump, sensitive)
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To me, if I'm looking for a girlfriend and have that as a SPECIFIC goal and a date doesn't work out, other than eliminating that person from consideration, I made no advancement towards that goal. That is frustrating to me.
And how many second and third dates do you go on?
I bet you grill them like you're filling a job that cost you $100k salary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What fun for her on that date...
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
And how many second and third dates do you go on?
I bet you grill them like you're filling a job that cost you $100k salary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What fun for her on that date...
No grilling here. I tend to let them talk and feel their vibe and typically they eliminate themselves or decide I'm not good enough for them and reject them. The dates NEVER end up being fun for me either.
I wonder how much more frustrating it is going to be when you find the one who is *the one* for you and she goes down her lists of requirements and tosses you from the eligible pool in 60 seconds or less because *you* will not fulfill her requirement to move closer to her goal in life......
No grilling here. I tend to let them talk and feel their vibe and typically they eliminate themselves or decide I'm not good enough for them and reject them. The dates NEVER end up being fun for me either.
Hmmmmm...does anyone else sense something wrong with Dissenter's entire attitude going into these dates....aside from the payment issue?
Again...how many second or third dates are you getting. This is not just based on HER being wrong, it means you're not PICKING the right ones to date in the first place or you suddenly are changing your requirements or attitude once on the date...if that happens EVERY time and you never get a second date you're never gonna get married.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
I wonder how much more frustrating it is going to be when you find the one who is *the one* for you and she goes down her lists of requirements and tosses you from the eligible pool in 60 seconds or less because *you* will not fulfill her requirement to move closer to her goal in life......
I may be p$&@ed about it but she is doing me a favor in that instance.
Just to add to the fun, calling someone cheap and then saying that the comment isn't an insult is really disingenuous. Cheap, when applied to a person, is an insult.
Also, I freely open doors, get the car when it's raining, carry the heavy stuff, and pay for most activities in my relationship. Still, I wonder about this sometimes. Does thinking about something that appears to be a tradition that is pretty anachronistic make me cheap? Unmanly? Incapable of knowing when someone is insulting me, or disparages the stance I take in wondering about something? Can't people just disagree, or really just ask why something is so important? I mean, I'm doing the man thing pretty good really, but if I wonder about it I'm all kinds of nasty things
So anyway, can someone tell me:
1. Why it's the man's place to pay for first dates?
Hmmmmm...does anyone else sense something wrong with Dissenter's entire attitude going into these dates....aside from the payment issue?
Again...how many second or third dates are you getting. This is not just based on HER being wrong, it means you're not PICKING the right ones to date in the first place or you suddenly are changing your requirements or attitude once on the date...if that happens EVERY time and you never get a second date you're never gonna get married.
You think maybe you're a bit out of line making this personal? I don't happen to agree with much of what Dissenter says on this topic, but that's separate from his dating history.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
You think maybe you're a bit out of line making this personal? I don't happen to agree with much of what Dissenter says on this topic, but that's separate from his dating history.
Seriously. I'm not going to answer her invasive question and give more ammo everyone here can fire at me.
Just to add to the fun, calling someone cheap and then saying that the comment isn't an insult is really disingenuous. Cheap, when applied to a person, is an insult.
Also, I freely open doors, get the car when it's raining, carry the heavy stuff, and pay for most activities in my relationship. Still, I wonder about this sometimes. Does thinking about something that appears to be a tradition that is pretty anachronistic make me cheap? Unmanly? Incapable of knowing when someone is insulting me, or disparages the stance I take in wondering about something? Can't people just disagree, or really just ask why something is so important? I mean, I'm doing the man thing pretty good really, but if I wonder about it I'm all kinds of nasty things
So anyway, can someone tell me:
1. Why it's the man's place to pay for first dates?
Thank you for phrasing some of my thoughts better than I did.
Regarding your question: Though I don't like it, I can very clearly see why it's the case. I wouldn't say it's his "place", but rather his "chosen obligation", and women respond accordingly. And while I don't like that either, I can't blame them for it...I'd do the same if the situations were reversed (and I'm not in a good frame of mind to come up with an appropriate analogy).
Like you, I do most of the underlined. In some cases, it's because I'm a nice person. In others, I'm trying to make a good impression. And in others, it's simply a matter of remaining "competitive", so to speak. And there's plenty of crossover between those three. But apparently, showing dislike for the existing status quo warrants insults.
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