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Old 03-13-2016, 09:49 PM
 
1,098 posts, read 1,861,432 times
Reputation: 1379

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Get this, it's a bit long so I'll try to summarize.

Lately, I've been running into a few newly divorced women. Random chance and the sort, be it internet or in public. It's sparse but just often enough for me to question where I am in the over 30 dating circuit.

Now, I used to be the guy who ranted and complain about how women used to treat me a decade ago, dateless loser and so forth. A lot of that has pretty much changed now. One woman actually went out of her way to find me and wanted to chat. First thing off her chest was how she divorced her ten year husband... thing is I remember her being head over heels in LOVE with this guy, like no other man could compare. Now? She couldn't wait to leave him and take the kids. Now she seems curious in me, I don't have a lucrative career or a fancy house but she's been very talkative with me. All I could remember from her was how cold she was to me when I made a move and ignored me ever since... it's been a decade and suddenly I've become somewhat of a "what if". Even got a phone number without asking... not sure if I want to go through with this though.

Second was the one woman who did have feelings for me and me vice versa, then spurned me the moment I told her I wanted to be a graphic designer (this was early 2000s when it was a viable career). She married a closeted gay guy who despite having a family with, he did eventually came full out of the closet... but as a pedophile. Have been cheating on her for years but she stuck with the guy God knows why. Made front page of the local paper and everything. I have no qualms saying all this because quite frankly during the time they were together, they were insufferable snobs to me at work (work couple if you will). Guess you could call it a grudge but I'm finally over it now.

Come to find out, she's been on my facebook page often according to her step mom. She (the step mom) insinuated that she hopes to set up something as soon as the divorce is final.

There's one more that recently came into contact me last year, but it's not a big deal as I knew I had no chance with her. But all three had in common was that they remember me the most by saying "You were so nice to me". But what bothers me is that they're pretending that we were on friendly terms when in actuality I was pretty heartbroken, and a bit insulted from woman #2.

Sure, it's normal to find more divorced women than just regular single women on the dating market (varies by area) but I can't help but feel since I don't have all the baggage of an ex gf/wife, kids, alimony, or other issues I've become the easier choice for relationship options.

Not really liking it though.

Your thoughts? Discuss away.

Last edited by Cyber Surfer; 03-13-2016 at 09:57 PM..
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Old 03-13-2016, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Denver and Boston
2,071 posts, read 2,198,481 times
Reputation: 3831
My ego would prevent me from dating a woman that had rejected me years prior. Even if she was beautiful and had no kids.
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Old 03-14-2016, 05:35 AM
 
Location: who cares
92 posts, read 69,869 times
Reputation: 159
I wouldnt waste my time with them.
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Old 03-14-2016, 05:41 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,632,754 times
Reputation: 98359
I don't know if the "divorced" matters as much as the "recently."
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Old 03-14-2016, 07:12 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,602,814 times
Reputation: 3769
yep recently divorced is an issue for me. There's a LOT of baggage and issues to weed through. I don't care to be the rebound guy from a messy situation.

Too much drama for me to deal with.
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Old 03-14-2016, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,853,250 times
Reputation: 18712
You might get some enjoyment out of saying no to them, to their face. They all sound like women with huge egos. I would avoid these women in general, as they sound like they are out to find someone to use.
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Old 03-14-2016, 08:39 AM
 
1,098 posts, read 1,861,432 times
Reputation: 1379
Good replies, honestly I'd rather not be the rebound guy only for them to "move on" once they healed. It does reek of "I want to use him to boost my ego". Maybe they're trying to save face that they have a failed marriage on their social resume.
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Old 03-14-2016, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,632,754 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyber Surfer View Post
Maybe they're trying to save face that they have a failed marriage on their social resume.
Maybe not. What kind of judgy thing is that to say?

Just reset your "baggage" meter and refrain from casting aspersions on those in situations you have no actual knowledge about.
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Old 03-14-2016, 09:12 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,881,608 times
Reputation: 8594
Another guy who is bitter because he didn't have it going on in his 20s.
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Old 03-14-2016, 11:05 AM
 
7,934 posts, read 8,553,437 times
Reputation: 5889
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyber Surfer View Post
Get this, it's a bit long so I'll try to summarize.

Lately, I've been running into a few newly divorced women. Random chance and the sort, be it internet or in public. It's sparse but just often enough for me to question where I am in the over 30 dating circuit.

Now, I used to be the guy who ranted and complain about how women used to treat me a decade ago, dateless loser and so forth. A lot of that has pretty much changed now. One woman actually went out of her way to find me and wanted to chat. First thing off her chest was how she divorced her ten year husband... thing is I remember her being head over heels in LOVE with this guy, like no other man could compare. Now? She couldn't wait to leave him and take the kids. Now she seems curious in me, I don't have a lucrative career or a fancy house but she's been very talkative with me. All I could remember from her was how cold she was to me when I made a move and ignored me ever since... it's been a decade and suddenly I've become somewhat of a "what if". Even got a phone number without asking... not sure if I want to go through with this though.
Eh, you're every other guy on the planet. (Welcome to the club...poker in the front, liquor in the rear.) It could be worse: you could've been the poor ******* who thought he'd won the lottery marrying this broad a decade ago who just had his life come crashing down around his ears. There's nothing fantastic about you compared to this guy I'm going to wager. She just happened to hitch her wagon to him instead of you a decade ago and now you can play around with her at fire-sale prices if you want to. Let you penis be your guide. I think the guy she just divorced would rather be in your position at this point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyber Surfer View Post
Second was the one woman who did have feelings for me and me vice versa, then spurned me the moment I told her I wanted to be a graphic designer (this was early 2000s when it was a viable career). She married a closeted gay guy who despite having a family with, he did eventually came full out of the closet... but as a pedophile. Have been cheating on her for years but she stuck with the guy God knows why. Made front page of the local paper and everything. I have no qualms saying all this because quite frankly during the time they were together, they were insufferable snobs to me at work (work couple if you will). Guess you could call it a grudge but I'm finally over it now.

Come to find out, she's been on my facebook page often according to her step mom. She (the step mom) insinuated that she hopes to set up something as soon as the divorce is final.
Yeahh, she sounds like the classic gold-digging snob. We've all known folks like this and end up feeling very sorry for whoever she eventually gets her hooks into. The guys who fall for these types are generally hopeless saps anyway who have no balls and need someone to boss them around.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyber Surfer View Post
There's one more that recently came into contact me last year, but it's not a big deal as I knew I had no chance with her. But all three had in common was that they remember me the most by saying "You were so nice to me". But what bothers me is that they're pretending that we were on friendly terms when in actuality I was pretty heartbroken, and a bit insulted from woman #2.
If she came into contact with you you're deluding yourself; women simply don't just do stuff like that unless they have a scheme up their sleeve to dangle their shiny object in front of you in hopes you'll bite. In fact it's pretty rare for them to display any sort of "romantic return" type behavior at all. Men are generally the ones who do this sort of stuff, so she must have really been pining away for you. This must have been a "near-miss" type scenario where you two almost hooked and became an item but didn't for whatever reason.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyber Surfer View Post
Sure, it's normal to find more divorced women than just regular single women on the dating market (varies by area) but I can't help but feel since I don't have all the baggage of an ex gf/wife, kids, alimony, or other issues I've become the easier choice for relationship options.

Not really liking it though.

Your thoughts? Discuss away.
Of course that is the situation. You don't have the baggage and have spent the last decade working tirelessly on your career and have (hopefully) had some success in life. Now these women who wouldn't give you time of day when you first met them see you as ready to be harvested for goods and services. The tables have turned and you're the shiny object they want now. Feel free to enjoy yourself to the extent your conscience allows and for god's sake don't sign anything silly like a marriage contract.
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