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As we have said, you could very easily douse any "fire" right this minute rather than dragging out all the intrigue. Just unfriend and block him on FB. And no more marriage advice. That is one of the most obvious ways married people flirt and build inroads... to complain about their marriage to someone of the opposite sex.
Enablers don't have to be confrontational. They just "let" things happen.
Yep. And the easiest way to make it clear that you are just friends and coworkers and that you're not open to all that is to be sympathetic "sorry you're having a rough time" and make a suggestion "maybe you two should consider marriage counseling" and then to avoid the subject other than that.
I just redirect people. They cannot head off in that direction with my help. If they do it, it's with me pushing them in the opposite direction. The rare times that ever happened with male friends, I just make it plain that I'm not gonna play along.
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Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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Originally Posted by RedZin
I'm confused. If a guy I worked with even made it to FB friend status, he'd best act like a friend, or I'd just unfriend him and avoid the subject entirely.
Why is something to simple so complicated???
Ditto texting me stuff that's inappropriate. I've had many a male friend in the workplace and none of them cross any lines of inappropriate behavior because I don't allow it.
I even have some that are pretty big jokers and are relatively flirty individuals, but they keep it light and harmless. I'm friends on FB (and in person) with most of their wives, too.
I dunno... I think you made this complicated, when it could have been really simple.
How did I make it any more complicated? He was targeting me bc I asked other female coworkers & they told me that he didnt' "come onto" them I'm not trying to be snarky or rude, I'm being honest?
How did I make it any more complicated? He was targeting me bc I asked other female coworkers & they told me that he didnt' "come onto" them I'm not trying to be snarky or rude, I'm being honest?
Because instead of immediately blocking him on FB, you told your husband, then allowed HIM to message the guy, and apparently asked co-workers about their interactions with him, which was a huge mistake.
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedZin
Yep. And the easiest way to make it clear that you are just friends and coworkers and that you're not open to all that is to be sympathetic "sorry you're having a rough time" and make a suggestion "maybe you two should consider marriage counseling" and then to avoid the subject other than that.
In order to stop his flirting, that should have been the ONLY thing you said. It sounds like you had "discussions" about his marriage?
When talking to an inappropriately flirty person, you nip the flirting by constantly mentioning your spouse or their spouse in conversations, and then ending the conversations quickly.
You don't follow their lead and build rapport with just the two of you.
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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Originally Posted by convextech
Your friend is entirely correct. Now block him on Facebook and stop talking to him at work unless it's work-related. The fact that he came back at your husband tells me that he is not going to stop, so it's up to you to shut his *ss down.
Is this for real? He won't stop even if my husband intervened? He probably thinks he's not serious since "I haven't taken a stand" smh...
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
In order to stop his flirting, that should have been the ONLY thing you said. It sounds like you had "discussions" about his marriage?
When talking to an inappropriately flirty person, you nip the flirting by constantly mentioning your spouse or their spouse in conversations, and then ending the conversations quickly.
You don't follow their lead and build rapport with just the two of you.
He would complain and I'd be like "Well, my husband and I know this/that" "You all should consider this option..."
I don't think I was contributing to the *issue* at all....like I said his wife doesn't sound innocent either..
Because instead of immediately blocking him on FB, you told your husband, then allowed HIM to message the guy, and apparently asked co-workers about their interactions with him, which was a huge mistake.
This. This is how you made it more complicated.
The first time this guy did it and you didn't just step right in and either unfriend, block, or just confront him directly or even somewhat indirectly...you could easily have said "I think you meant this for someone else? We work together and I'm married!" and he would've backed off... you created drama for yourself.
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I'm not trying to be snarky or rude, I'm being honest?
