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There's this guy at my work who just got hired 3 months ago. Initially, We hardly talked to each other and I was indifferent towards him. This all changed few weeks later when I ran into him in stairway-the first thing he asked was if I go to the gym, to which I replied yes and asked him why he was asking. He proceeded to tell that he saw me the previous day at the gym while he was on treadmill and I was on different machine -but wasn't sure if it was me and that I looked very familiar . I confirmed that he was indeed right. The funny thing is ,I didn't even notice him at the gym that day. After chatting briefly ,I came to conclusion that he variably visits that gym as me -He visits other locations .So it was mere coincidence that we ended up at the same gym that day. Similarly, I go to different locations depending on where I am and the traffic . I've gone back to the same location few times but my gym schedules haven't coincident with his.
In addition,We work in completely unrelated departments.(we have very minimal work-related contact) However, we seem to run into each other walking in and out of conference rooms, hallways ,elavotors and staff rooms. He now always make it a point to smile ,ask how I'm doing and If he is not rushing off somewhere for work, we'll end up chatting briefly about basic stuff.ie if we have gone to gym lately etc.I see him see him around 1-3 times a week if I'm lucky.
He's got this reserved yet friendly geeky nature that I just can't get enough.There's no indication that he is anything towards me other than just-being a -pleasant friendly professional capacity but I'm curious about him, and therefore want to talk to him more, spend some time with him. And I don’t know how to deal with it, and what is considered appropriate
To get to the point: I'd like to get to know this guy a little better. He's nice (or seems to be), and we have a lot of the same interests. I want to ask him to hangout platonically without pressure of being a date.How do I go on about it?
Last edited by MissmamaAnnie; 03-16-2016 at 11:26 AM..
See if he wants to go to lunch on a workday--that's usually a pretty neutral outing. If you've got any other work friends, ask them, too, so it seems like less of a one-on-one "date".
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 03-16-2016 at 12:26 PM..
When you run into him, tell him you are going to this place (maybe a new place or some place neraby) for lunch and ask if he wants to join you. Or if it's after lunch, tell him you're planning to "stop by" this restaurant/bar/name the place after work and ask if he wants to meet you there.
Just make it casual when you ask, and don't worry about it if he declines.
Next time you run into him just say "hey I was just going to grab a cup of coffee, want to come along?". If he is interested he will join you. If for some reason he is really busy at work but likes you he will counter offer. If he doesn't counter offer, forget about him until he asks you out.
It is probable he feels the same way as you but might be uncomfortable because if you reject him he will still have to see you on occasion at work or the gym. Most guys are greatly fear rejection. The fact that he did start a conversation with you indicates he is interested, but was probably looking for a sure fire sign. By asking him for coffee he will realize you are interested unless he is totally socially inept. But let him take it from there after coffee, it is OK to lead a guy to water, but best to let him take the drink for himself if you get my drift.
See if he wants to go to lunch on a workday--that's usually a pretty neutral outing. If you've got any other work friends, ask them, too, so it seems like less of a one-on-one "date".
Example: "My bf doesn't work out as much, so I go alone for the most part."
"My bf doesnt like this xyz restaurant but I do, so I often go there for lunch."
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