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I was actually piggy backing on your response, but you clearly didn't catch that.
Combative? Interesting. You've said I have a weird neurosis, eluded that I must be insecure for daring to discuss it on a discussion forum, and then sarcastically referenced my love life. But I'm combative?
I guess logically laying out an argument is "combative" these days. Oh Internet.
No, I didn't catch that you were "piggy-backing" on my response to make some greater point about what you feel is unfair treatment of men. I guess because it makes no logical sense to me. I don't think that people telling you that they think you're insecure is wrong, just like I don't think it's wrong for you to date or disqualify whoever you want to for whatever reason, including insecurity. Ergo, your issue isn't with me, so I didn't see any need to involve me in it, nor to fixate on one particular word. It's just semantics.
Good luck with the vetting process. You can continue onward, I really have no opinion on the matter either way so you don't have to quote me.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck Jones 99
If you found out that the person you've been dating had had sex with a number of people that is higher than they said or you were led to believe, would this make any difference to you?
Depends.
Maybe not, if they said 5 and it turned out that one or two had slipped their mind.
Probably so, if they said 5 and it turned out there were 10 or more that conveniently slipped their mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck Jones 99
Would it make them less able to bond with someone, in your opinion? Do you think it would be a sign of an inability to be loyal? Or are there any other concerns?
Depends.
First, on their age. I don't look at most men under 35 as being mature enough for a serious and committed relationship. This doesn't mean there aren't exceptions that happen to be mature enough under that age, but I am answering a very generic question here.
Second, on their ability to have maintained a serious and committed relationship. If they are 35, were married for 10 years after High School, and the relationship ended because their partner died, I wouldn't look at that as an inability to bond, or lack of ability to be loyal.
Third, if they conveniently forgot how many children they fathered while under the age of 35. I wouldn't personally be interested in taking on someone else's previous baggage of women with kids while in search of a relationship - unless I'm just out for relieving tension, and not really interested in a serious relationship myself.
A big concern for me would be STDs with a high-partner count. I've managed to get this far in life without ever contracting any form of the Herpes Simplex virus, or any other STD, and I would like to keep my body in its status quo. That doesn't mean that someone with a high partner count hasn't managed to be very lucky in that regard, but in this day and age, I would be highly skeptical.
No, I didn't catch that you were "piggy-backing" on my response to make some greater point about what you feel is unfair treatment of men. I guess because it makes no logical sense to me. I don't think that people telling you that they think you're insecure is wrong, just like I don't think it's wrong for you to date or disqualify whoever you want to for whatever reason, including insecurity. Ergo, your issue isn't with me, so I didn't see any need to involve me in it, nor to fixate on one particular word. It's just semantics.
Good luck with the vetting process. You can continue onward, I really have no opinion on the matter either way so you don't have to quote me.
Lol unfair treatment of men. No. I'm simply walking you through the rationalizations of women and guys who strive to not be like all those "other guys."
Haven't read the thread, because these threads tend to be and
So, the only time a number might matter is if it indicated something about how people view sex and relationships. Lots of sex with lots of partners could mean that someone just likes sex, which is a good thing isn't it? Or it could be because someone copes through acting out sexually, which probably doesn't bode well for a committed relationship. I doubt anyone would admit to that though, so no one would know, but at least theoretically a high number could mean something in that way.
Likewise a low number, though. Could be lack of opportunity, which might be an issue in itself, or it could be about repressed attitudes. Either could possibly indicate some incompatibility.
However, that's seldom the way people look at this issue, especially people who harp on it. It's about **** shaming or insecurity or something.
Personally, I don't ask and I put my hands over my ears and make silly noises if she starts talking about her sexual history. Unless she's talking about her sexual history that includes me, in which case I listen intently. I mean, she might say something good.
Haven't read the thread, because these threads tend to be and
So, the only time a number might matter is if it indicated something about how people view sex and relationships. Lots of sex with lots of partners could mean that someone just likes sex, which is a good thing isn't it? Or it could be because someone copes through acting out sexually, which probably doesn't bode well for a committed relationship. I doubt anyone would admit to that though, so no one would know, but at least theoretically a high number could mean something in that way.
Likewise a low number, though. Could be lack of opportunity, which might be an issue in itself, or it could be about repressed attitudes. Either could possibly indicate some incompatibility.
However, that's seldom the way people look at this issue, especially people who harp on it. It's about **** shaming or insecurity or something.
Personally, I don't ask and I put my hands over my ears and make silly noises if she starts talking about her sexual history. Unless she's talking about her sexual history that includes me, in which case I listen intently. I mean, she might say something good.
Not allowed to rep you again. Just know that I would if I could.
Maybe not, if they said 5 and it turned out that one or two had slipped their mind.
Probably so, if they said 5 and it turned out there were 10 or more that conveniently slipped their mind.
Depends.
First, on their age. I don't look at most men under 35 as being mature enough for a serious and committed relationship. This doesn't mean there aren't exceptions that happen to be mature enough under that age, but I am answering a very generic question here.
Second, on their ability to have maintained a serious and committed relationship. If they are 35, were married for 10 years after High School, and the relationship ended because their partner died, I wouldn't look at that as an inability to bond, or lack of ability to be loyal.
Third, if they conveniently forgot how many children they fathered while under the age of 35. I wouldn't personally be interested in taking on someone else's previous baggage of women with kids while in search of a relationship - unless I'm just out for relieving tension, and not really interested in a serious relationship myself.
A big concern for me would be STDs with a high-partner count. I've managed to get this far in life without ever contracting any form of the Herpes Simplex virus, or any other STD, and I would like to keep my body in its status quo. That doesn't mean that someone with a high partner count hasn't managed to be very lucky in that regard, but in this day and age, I would be highly skeptical.
What's the big deal with STDs? That can easily be tested for - so it comes down to whether or not you want to be with someone who exposed themselves to STDs...so the number of partners-be honest.
I wonder how many women will call you insecure for saying that.
Oh yeah, I forgot, it's only insecurity if you do want to know.
Am I insecure if I'm willing to admit that I might be insecure?
Really, I'd rather know that a woman I'm with has different experiences and is choosing to be with me. I just don't care to hear the details of those prior experiences. I have no illusions about myself, but I'm also part of a culture that seems to encourage people to feel like we're not good enough. I'm not immune to those messages, so even though I think I'm plenty good, I don't need to have that thought challenged too vigorously.
If you found out that the person you've been dating had had sex with a number of people that is higher than they said or you were led to believe, would this make any difference to you?
Would it make them less able to bond with someone, in your opinion? Do you think it would be a sign of an inability to be loyal? Or are there any other concerns?
I am not interested in someone with lots of partners. I don't have a high number and looking for the same. High numbers indicates instability and I am only looking for a relationship. So high numbers can move along.
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