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I'm not disputing that he had mental issues. But lack of sex exacerbated the issues that he did have. It is the extreme example. Lack of sex was a major contributing factor to his mental issues, as I said before. I think it is erroneous to say that lack of sex had nothing to do with his death.
My point is that a lot of people out there have never had sex, but yet, don't go out committing mass murder the way this psycho did.
Even if he regularly had sex and/or was in a relationship, he would have likely been deranged about something else.
^ that is just incorrect. People go without sex for years, their whole lives and don't committed mass murder, while people like Charles Manson got plenty of it and still did the same thing. Lack of sex isn't why he was crazy, he was just crazy.
Thank you.
If you could only imagine how hard I am laughing at his comment.
If what he said was true then 30-0 year old virgins would not exist. They would have killed themselves off a long time ago.
I'm not disputing that he had mental issues. But lack of sex exacerbated the issues that he did have. It is the extreme example. Lack of sex was a major contributing factor to his mental issues, as I said before. I think it is erroneous to say that lack of sex had nothing to do with his death.
Lack of sex ≠ mental problems
That is probably one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. A person "allowing" themselves to go insane because they are not having sex is a CHOICE. He CHOSE to murder those people because he wasn't getting what he WANTED. Like NewYorker said, if he was getting it, he would've likely murdered about something else insignificant.
Not having sex does not cause a healthy brain to just go ballistic. That just doesn't make any sense.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Healthy people don't just go ballistic without sex.
This is true. It's also true that outside of some religious orders (and some other very uncommon exceptions), healthy people don't willingly go without sex either.
I don't believe this. I've seen formely shy guys become absolute animals with women. It's about a mindset and not caring whether you get rejected
Being introverted and being shy are two different things. I have friends who can be very social, but are introverts. Being in social situations wears them out, and isn't always that enjoyable for them.
I agree with Ro2113, that charisma is something you have or you don't. One can be extroverted, and still lack charisma. This kind of person is often called obnoxious.
Some people choose to be in relationships which are not egalitarian. If a woman expects equality in the law, but not in her relationship, how is that hypocritical? One is not inextricably linked to the other- other than it boils down to choice. With the advent of equality under the law, women have more opportunities and choice in what they want to do in their lives, including in their private relationships. That a woman (or man, for that matter) chooses to be in a relationship that is not egalitarian, is good enough reason for me.
Expecting equal treatment everywhere in society but not in relationships? How is that not hypocritical?
I realize it's a matter of choice but it all boils down to equality being a 2-way street on all levels. Equality comes with a price tag. If we expect to be on equal grounds with the males, that means equal on all levels, not just pay scales or job opportunities.
At least I practice what I preach. Long ago I learned not to expect a man to come to my rescue if my car breaks down, I can change a tire and do basic repairs myself. I learned not to expect anyone to hold open doors or pay my way just because I'm a woman. I'm a strong believer in people doing for themselves, taking care of their own, and being responsible for their share of the finances.
If I want something bad enough I get it on my own. That's how I met my husband in the 1st place.
Expecting a man to always be the initiator and bear the brunt of the expenses doesn't teach women anything except how to sponge and be dependent.
My 1 big problem with the women's movement was all the phony feminists that came from it. Many of them have this self-entitlement attitude and expect the red carpet. Many men are just as guilty for letting those women get by with it.
So, my partner and I should reject what makes us happy and content in a relationship?
I'll be sure to let him know that tonight will be the last time I make us dinner until we set up a schedule where he does half of the cooking and cleaning.
So, what works for you should work for everyone else in the world?
You don't really mean that, do you?
Do whatever your heart desires, it's your choice and your life.
I'm just espousing my own opinions based on my experience----the happiest relationships are usually the ones with an equal partnership, not the ones with a boss.
I realize it's a matter of choice but it all boils down to equality being a 2-way street on all levels.
And you're perfectly entitled to your opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by raindance maggie
Equality comes with a price tag. If we expect to be on equal grounds with the males, that means equal on all levels, not just pay scales or job opportunities.
And there I heartily disagree with you.
As I believe I said earlier, I believe in equality under the law. I believe that people, of whatever gender, should be judged for (and paid commensurate with) their abilities and not what is between their legs.
That being said, "equality" in my intimate relationships makes no sense to me.
What does that mean exactly? Is it just finances, or does it go into all aspects? Should my partner and I divvy up everything 50/50? If I made dinner last night, does he make it tonight? If he went out last week to fix the privacy fence, do I do it the next time we have a wind storm? If he initiated sex the last time, do I need to do it the next time? And, on and on...
I could think of 50 things like this. But, I think that the appropriate question here is why is there any should?
As competent adults, my partner and I have decided to enter into a relationship that makes us both happy and content. Should we change it because outsiders don't approve? The reality is that unless I tell people, no one would know about how our relationship is set up. This is between he and I and no one else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by raindance maggie
At least I practice what I preach.
As do I.
Quote:
Originally Posted by raindance maggie
Long ago I learned not to expect a man to come to my rescue if my car breaks down, I can change a tire and do basic repairs myself. I learned not to expect anyone to hold open doors or pay my way just because I'm a woman. I'm a strong believer in people doing for themselves, taking care of their own, and being responsible for their share of the finances.
My partner and I are both extremely self-sufficient individuals.
That said, he enjoys opening doors for me, holding my arm as we walk, giving me his jacket when it's cold out... and that's what makes us compatible.
He also the type who would not have felt comfortable "going dutch" on our first outings. Again, compatibility.
Quote:
Originally Posted by raindance maggie
If I want something bad enough I get it on my own. That's how I met my husband in the 1st place.
And, that's great.
I was the one to reach out to my partner initially online. I made a short, snarky comment on his profile picture. I showed initial interest and left the rest up to him. Why? Because I wanted a guy who was going to take the initiative in a relationship. We would have never gotten past the first date if I had been the one leading things. And, you know what? Who's to say that there's anything wrong with that. It's what I, a fully capable woman, wants in a relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by raindance maggie
Expecting a man to always be the initiator and bear the brunt of the expenses doesn't teach women anything except how to sponge and be dependent.
Yeah, well, I can't speak to "all women", only to my own experience.
I came into my present relationship (and my prior one, for that matter) as a fully-formed, capable woman. As I think about it, I feel fortunate that after several short-term, failed relationships, I came to the understanding that I had internalized the "equality in everything" BS. Oh, hell no, I don't need a man to open a door for me!! Yeah. That just doesn't work for me.
I am comfortable with him being the initiator, the leader, if you will. (In case it's not already apparent, this goes WAY beyond splitting finances.) We work very well together in this way.
I just realized something here. I wanted this really badly and got it on my own. Funny how that works.
Quote:
Originally Posted by raindance maggie
My 1 big problem with the women's movement was all the phony feminists that came from it. Many of them have this self-entitlement attitude and expect the red carpet. Many men are just as guilty for letting those women get by with it.
Do whatever your heart desires, it's your choice and your life.
I'm just espousing my own opinions based on my experience----the happiest relationships are usually the ones with an equal partnership, not the ones with a boss.
The happiest relationships you've seen. Can't argue with you there. It is your personal experience after all.
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