Should I marry if I had been intimate with 29 women and 1 man in my lifetime?

[jjrose]

Originally Posted by anonymous51

Unfortunately, I was never in a long-term relationship, and honestly, I think the problem with online dating is that everyone is looking for the next best thing.


When I was in a relationship with someone whom I met online years ago, there was a coworker who flirted with me at a new year's party. She knew that I was taken, but she had a crush on me too. I gave in to temptation. I didn't have sex with that other woman, but I admit that I did kiss her numerous times that night. Of course, it was wrong of me to do that. But I learned how hard it is to resist advances if another woman comes on to me.

This shows that you just aren't ready for marriage, or just haven't found the right woman yet.

You're young still. Enjoy it, date, have fun. Don't be in such a hurry to force yourself into something that may not be right for you.

[Eddyline]

I sure a lot of women would not marry someone as inexperienced as you.

[JustJulia]

Nine months is your longest relationship? I would date someone exclusively for at least that long and figure out whether monogamy is something you really want. You need to get past the shiny new infatuation stage. And your past is your own business.

[bobman]

This has to be a wind up ?
Some 13 year olds sitting beside their computer laughing at everyone getting involved ?

I can't believe for one second that any real person who loves somebody enough to think about marrying them would just drop them and move on to somebody else.

Somehow I suspect that there's a bridge we're trip trapping over.
If this is real, as well as 99% of threads on this forum, then the world is doomed

Originally Posted by anonymous51

Ok. I understand that I am not ready for marriage. I wish that I had married years ago and started a family. Should I continue dating this woman, or should I leave her and find someone else? Honestly, I don't trust myself in being committed to someone and making a long-term relationship work.

[mishigas73]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

Nine months is your longest relationship? I would date someone exclusively for at least that long and figure out whether monogamy is something you really want. You need to get past the shiny new infatuation stage. And your past is your own business.

This.

OP, I'm personally in the "don't have the numbers conversation" camp, as a general rule. In my experience, and with the people I have been in relationships with, what has been vastly more useful is having meaningful discussions about prior relationships. How did they begin? How did they end? How long were they? How does this person speak about their ex? Things like that.

If someone tells me that they are interested in having an exclusive long term relationship, I want to know why. I want to know, to the extent possible, if they are capable of such a thing.

In your situation, you are facing the old "catch-22". You can't get experience without the opportunity, and you might have trouble getting the opportunity without experience. In that regard, I would echo JustJulia's suggestion. If you think that marriage might be something you want in the future, start with one of the preliminary steps- getting past the "honeymoon stage" of a relationship.

From my own perspective (certainly not trying to speak for anyone else but myself), what would be most important is that you demonstrate an understanding that marriage is about step 19, when you are only at step 3. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There is, IMO, a natural progression of things. If I were in the market at this point, I don't know that I would be looking specifically for someone without LTR experience, but if that happened, what I would be most interested in knowing is that this person had the capability of being in such a relationship. That starts, from my POV, with taking things one step at a time.

Don't worry about the possibilities of step 19 when you're still at step 3. There's definitely something to be said for enjoying the journey.