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So, normally after a first date (especially one off an online dating site)--whether I'm interested in the guy or not--I send a text when I get home, thanking them for coming out and for the drinks (since usually they pay), and tell them I had a nice time (which I've been lucky enough to have a nice time on all my first dates thus far, regardless of interest).
Of course sometimes the guys text me before I get to them, but nonetheless I just consider it a sign of courtesy and politeness rather than interest.
So was just wondering how may ladies out there do the same? And for the guys do you consider these sort of texts, interest or courtesy?
The reason I ask, is I have some female friends who are mortified at the thought of sending a guy a text like that, especially if you have no interest in seeing them again. However I disagree, especially since 90% of the time the guy comes out to my neck of the woods which for some of them can be a half hour to 45 minute drive, or subway ride.
So, normally after a first date (especially one off an online dating site)--whether I'm interested in the guy or not--I send a text when I get home, thanking them for coming out and for the drinks (since usually they pay), and tell them I had a nice time (which I've been lucky enough to have a nice time on all my first dates thus far, regardless of interest).
Of course sometimes the guys text me before I get to them, but nonetheless I just consider it a sign of courtesy and politeness rather than interest.
So was just wondering how may ladies out there do the same? And for the guys do you consider these sort of texts, interest or courtesy?
The reason I ask, is I have some female friends who are mortified at the thought of sending a guy a text like that, especially if you have no interest in seeing them again. However I disagree, especially since 90% of the time the guy comes out to my neck of the woods which for some of them can be a half hour to 45 minute drive, or subway ride.
I usually only send those texts if I'm interested. Otherwise, I just thank them before we part ways.
I usually only send a "thank you" text if I'm interested in seeing them again. I always pay my share on dates so don't feel the need to thank them for paying, seeing how I would have paid half the bill anyway!
After a first date I will let the guy lead. Sometimes after a date the guy might not be *feeling* me as much i'm feeling him. If i send him a thank you text he might reply out of courtesy. So i let him lead.
After a first date I will let the guy lead. Sometimes after a date the guy might not be *feeling* me as much i'm feeling him. If i send him a thank you text he might reply out of courtesy. So i let him lead.
Well in those cases, I would think if he's really interested he will contact you again and ask you out. If he's not then you won't hear from him again.
If I text later it would be more like "Thank you again, I really had a good time. Have a good week " or something like that. It's my way of making the first move I guess after the "audition".
If I text later it would be more like "Thank you again, I really had a good time. Have a good week " or something like that. It's my way of making the first move I guess after the "audition".
I sometimes feel like goodbyes are awkward, especially after a first date and maybe I sort of thank them in a hurry. So I text just to say a proper thank you. I mean don't get me wrong there are times where I have clearly said thank you and that enjoyed the date, in those instances I do not text when I get home (unless the guys asks me to text him to let him know I got home ok). But more often than not, even if a date goes really well, the goodbye always seems a bit awkward.
If I'm REALLY interested in the guy, then MAYBE I might send another "thank you" text at the end of the night once we've parted ways. But if I'm just lukewarm, or not that interested, I will just say thank you at the end of the night in person regardless. No text.
I'm like the other poster above, I prefer to let the guy lead after the first date. Even if I'm really interested in him I try to curb the urge to initiate anything, because as was mentioned before, I may be really feeling the chemistry and thinking he's into me, but he's not that interested. If a guy is really interested, then I figure he will either try to nail me down for another date before we part ways, or he will text ME first after the first date. Otherwise, I'll just assume he wasn't THAT interested, or has other options he wishes to pursue further.
Many guys seem to hate confrontation or turning a girl down, so I allow them to lead, so that they're not just responding to me out of kindness/formalities. Ykwim?
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" or something like that. It's my way of making the first move I guess after the "audition".
