Ever had someone "grow" on you? (guys, love, single)
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Yes and I've been married to him for almost 25 years. We worked together and I wasn't interested in him romantically. He kept showing up where I would hang out after work and eventually we became friends and then more.
I think opposite things happen for me. Most people like me at first but I don't usually care for most people I meet initially. Then it flips when they start to grow on me but by then they have moved on.
I get annoyed pretty easily and have to force myself to see people as a person. I wish I could do it earlier on but I just take a little longer to warm up to.
Man lots of "love at first site, or nothing" people in this thread.
Yes, there are.
Not everyone will be in a situation where they run into the same person more than once, but for those that do, it is possible for something to develop over time.
No way to quantify it but I have wondered before how many people have missed out on terrific people, dismissing them instantly because of "no spark".
No. In my dating experiences I've always hit it off immediately with the ones I was in a LTR with. I have gone on second dates, but those just confirmed for me that we were not compatible and my gut instinct was correct. I've never considered dating someone I work with and never will. Of course my field is heavily male dominated so not really a consideration anyway.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Yes, there are.
Not everyone will be in a situation where they run into the same person more than once, but for those that do, it is possible for something to develop over time.
No way to quantify it but I have wondered before how many people have missed out on terrific people, dismissing them instantly because of "no spark".
Well, I've never developed romantic chemistry with someone over time. I've lost it over time, but over 25 years or so of dating, either it is there or it isn't. It isn't "love at first sight", it is just chemistry.
And people may be terrific people, those make good friends, but just being a terrific person doesn't make someone a potential romantic partner. Sparks and chemistry are needed for that.
I don't think "love at first sight or nothing" is the issue, not in my experience at least. It's just never happened.
I have had quite a few male friends, some I've been friends with for years. I have felt nothing but platonic feelings towards them. A lot of them have tried to get close to me but it's just weird, and I don't like it. I can think of two guys in particular. One has been in my life for over 7 years, claims to be in love with me, but I have no romantic attraction to him at all.
The other guy I've known since childhood, he recently came back into my life a few years ago. He likes me, but I feel nothing towards him either. He's like an older bother, so the thought of being intimate with him is weird and makes me feel very uncomfortable. So I don't believe it works like that for everyone. Usually if I am going to be interested in someone it happens fairly soon after we meet.
Not everyone will be in a situation where they run into the same person more than once, but for those that do, it is possible for something to develop over time.
No way to quantify it but I have wondered before how many people have missed out on terrific people, dismissing them instantly because of "no spark".
I agree. If you're not around someone for a long period of time, it most likely isn't going to happen. Definitely, one or two dates isn't an extended period of time to have someone grow on you.
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