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Why are you getting married if you don't want kids? This is asinine! Of course he should be peed the eff off! I would've left the moment you did this, acting like "having my friend drive me there" is worth his future son's or daughter's life because you just "don't want to deal with this right now." Babies are a blessing, not something you throw out because you are inconvenienced.
I'm confused - it sounds like you got married because you were pregnant... but then you got an abortion? Why get married in the first place then? Of course, you seem to say you had to have the abortion so maybe it was for medical reasons that you found out about after getting married? Or are you saying you just felt like the abortion was your only option?
It's your right to have the abortion, but it's equally his right to feel differently about it - it was his baby too. This may be something he is not able to get passed. Regardless, it doesn't excuse him treating you meanly because of it, especially if the abortion was necessary for medical reasons. You need to have an adult conversation with each other about your feelings and decide whether you will be able to move beyond this or not.
No we got married before I got pregnant. I got an abortion because I didn't feel ready. And we knew that that's why we weren't trying because I was not in a place where I could have kids currently. Now he's mad at me for something he already knew.
No we got married before I got pregnant. I got an abortion because I didn't feel ready. And we knew that that's why we weren't trying because I was not in a place where I could have kids currently. Now he's mad at me for something he already knew.
Did you discuss your reasoning behind the termination with him, or is this something you told him you were doing after the fact?
No we got married first for many other reasons I was not pregnant when we got married. I decided to get an abortion after I found I was pregnant because I am not ready to have kids at this time. I'm 19 in college and focused on getting through school and having a career before I have kids
But you said you got married after you got pregnant. So you got pregnant, had an abortion, and got married, in that order? Why would you marry someone when you knew he had a problem with the abortion you just had? Why would you marry someone who was "immature and unsupportive" during the abortion process?
I dont imagine your marriage will last much longer. He will never get over this. It was not your decision to make. You are married. It was BOTH of your decisions.
No we got married before I got pregnant. I got an abortion because I didn't feel ready. And we knew that that's why we weren't trying because I was not in a place where I could have kids currently. Now he's mad at me for something he already knew.
[Mod cut: harsh language "having an abortion"]
Calling him names or belittling him won't help your marriage or get you through.
But you said you got married after you got pregnant. So you got pregnant, had an abortion, and got married, in that order? Why would you marry someone when you knew he had a problem with the abortion you just had? Why would you marry someone who was "immature and unsupportive" during the abortion process?
I dont imagine your marriage will last much longer. He will never get over this. It was not your decision to make. You are married. It was BOTH of your decisions.
You screwed up.
While I do think couples should discuss it together first (and we don't know that they didn't), ultimately it is not exactly something they can compromise over. If it comes down to one of them wanting the abortion and the other not, it comes down to her body, her choice.
I'm 19 and in college. I have had no interest in family children anytime soon. My H and I married 2 months ago shortly before I had become pregnant. And have had to have an abortion. He has always wanted kids and a family and is prolife and he acted really immature and unsupportive during this. To the point he even threatened leaving me. He wouldn't go with me I had to arrange for a friend to pick me up and had to pay myself. He wanted no part in it and since he's been really mean and I understand he feels hurt about it but there was really nothing else I could do. It's been 2 weeks and I don't want a good begin to go down the tubes already. Advice? What can I do now to help him move past this?
Be understanding. Don't pressure him to come out of his shell, give him time.
Tell him you have another 20 years to have all the babies he wants?
Marriage counseling?
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