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Old 04-08-2016, 05:17 AM
 
5,051 posts, read 3,564,891 times
Reputation: 6512

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Funny things those signals - yours said you really hit it off, hers said no way. The reasons could be many, things about which it is best not to speculate. If you really think she is a cool chick independent of wanting to get with her then go have lunch (both pay) but you sound like your interest is romantic (after all you're second guessing yourself by posting here) so, as said by many others, just walk away.
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Old 04-08-2016, 07:38 AM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
I met a girl last Friday in a bar with a business group from my school, and it seemed like we immediately hit it off. She also goes to the same school I do, and wants to get involved with this group as well. I had asked her for lunch sometime in the future, and she said yes, but that it could be a while because her schedule is very hectic (which she reminded me on FB).

We've been messaging on FB back and forth for almost a week, and here's a convo that happened today.


Me: Let me know if you are going to bring any friends if you do come this Friday. Have to give the bar a potential head count. Hope to see you there, and maybe buy you a drink : ). You done with midterms?

Her: I'm sick so I don't think I'll be going out this weekend. Yes I am. Are you?

Her: Can I ask you a question?

Me: Oh, sorry to hear. Feel better! Is it the flu?

And yes, I'm done..haha. Had like 4 midterms last month. Went beast mode on them ; ). And sure, ask anything. Shoot away.

(At this point, I had a feeling she'd ask this upcoming question, which I was right)


Her: No I have my flu shot so it better not be. It's not bad just slightly sickly

I feel awkward asking this but I like to be clear on things if I'm not sure about it. Let me know if I'm assuming but do you have an interest in me? Like you've wanted to get me lunch and a drink

Me: Well, I would have preferred saying this in person, but yes, I do have an interest in you and getting to know you better. Question is, do you have an interest in me? : )

Her: Yeah I was wanting to say this in person but wasn't sure when I'll see you again and I'm not the type to lead someone on. I'm sorry but honestly I don't. I just recently stopped talking to a guy so I'm not really interested in introducing someone else into my life

Me: No need to be sorry : ). I'm glad you were honest, and didn't lead me on to anything. I appreciate it.
I get it as well, since I've done the same in the past..

Her: I'll still like to hang with you! Like dude you don't get to meet a lot of Scorpios lol
I just wanted to make sure we were on the same level before I hang out with you again


I do think she's genuinely telling the truth in that she doesn't want a relationship right now, otherwise, I don't even think she would have wanted to hang out with me in the future. I guess I'll keep on open mind with her, but shouldn't expect for her to change her mind. She's also actually only being in NY for a couple of months (this is her 1st semester), so who knows.
I'm going to dissent from the others (yes reference my name) and suggest you have no further contact with her, at the very least for a few months. The rejection is fresh in your mind and you may have a negative reaction if she goes out with someone else while the rejection is fresh. I would back away from her at least on an interim basis.
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Old 04-08-2016, 08:02 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,018,431 times
Reputation: 5963
I have this conversation frequently. means I am just not into you. But I like you well enough to be friends.

Lately though I think I have more guy friends then I can deal with.
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Old 04-17-2016, 01:07 AM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,395,097 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer_Rain View Post
Seems like "chicks" can't win. Not say anything, she's a friendzoning game player or tease. She's upfront about not being interested, that's apparently worse according to you. I bet some people would call her rude if she had ignored him. Sigh.
Exactly.

I'd MUCH rather the girl be honest and upfront about not being interested, rather than string me along with no intention of ever being romantic with me. She didn't say anything harsh whatsoever.

Anyways, this thread doesn't even matter anymore, since I just recently met a girl this past Tuesday which I know for A FACT we hit it off with . I'll make a thread about it later.
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Old 04-17-2016, 02:16 AM
 
17,869 posts, read 20,963,134 times
Reputation: 13949
Yeah, nope. Wouldn't be friends with her or wait or anything, at least not for a while. I mean, I'd be doing damage to myself if I have some romantic feelings towards a woman but she doesn't share those same feelings. That's not OK. I guess there are some guys who can get over a rejection and be friends with a woman in the same moment, but I ain't one of those guys.
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Old 04-17-2016, 05:09 AM
 
2,495 posts, read 4,349,351 times
Reputation: 4935
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
Exactly.

I'd MUCH rather the girl be honest and upfront about not being interested, rather than string me along with no intention of ever being romantic with me. She didn't say anything harsh whatsoever.

Anyways, this thread doesn't even matter anymore, since I just recently met a girl this past Tuesday which I know for A FACT we hit it off with . I'll make a thread about it later.
How about you don't make a thread about it and focus your energy on establishing this new connection without feeling the urge to give CD a play by play analysis.
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Old 04-17-2016, 06:23 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,567,314 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage View Post
How about you don't make a thread about it and focus your energy on establishing this new connection without feeling the urge to give CD a play by play analysis.
What fun would that be?
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