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I met a girl last Friday in a bar with a business group from my school, and it seemed like we immediately hit it off. She also goes to the same school I do, and wants to get involved with this group as well. I had asked her for lunch sometime in the future, and she said yes, but that it could be a while because her schedule is very hectic (which she reminded me on FB).
We've been messaging on FB back and forth for almost a week, and here's a convo that happened today.
Me: Let me know if you are going to bring any friends if you do come this Friday. Have to give the bar a potential head count. Hope to see you there, and maybe buy you a drink : ). You done with midterms?
Her: I'm sick so I don't think I'll be going out this weekend. Yes I am. Are you?
Her: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Oh, sorry to hear. Feel better! Is it the flu?
And yes, I'm done..haha. Had like 4 midterms last month. Went beast mode on them ; ). And sure, ask anything. Shoot away.
(At this point, I had a feeling she'd ask this upcoming question, which I was right)
Her: No I have my flu shot so it better not be. It's not bad just slightly sickly
I feel awkward asking this but I like to be clear on things if I'm not sure about it. Let me know if I'm assuming but do you have an interest in me? Like you've wanted to get me lunch and a drink
Me: Well, I would have preferred saying this in person, but yes, I do have an interest in you and getting to know you better. Question is, do you have an interest in me? : )
Her: Yeah I was wanting to say this in person but wasn't sure when I'll see you again and I'm not the type to lead someone on. I'm sorry but honestly I don't. I just recently stopped talking to a guy so I'm not really interested in introducing someone else into my life
Me: No need to be sorry : ). I'm glad you were honest, and didn't lead me on to anything. I appreciate it.
I get it as well, since I've done the same in the past..
Her: I'll still like to hang with you! Like dude you don't get to meet a lot of Scorpios lol
I just wanted to make sure we were on the same level before I hang out with you again
I do think she's genuinely telling the truth in that she doesn't want a relationship right now, otherwise, I don't even think she would have wanted to hang out with me in the future. I guess I'll keep on open mind with her, but shouldn't expect for her to change her mind. She's also actually only being in NY for a couple of months (this is her 1st semester), so who knows.
Does it really make a difference in why she doesn't want to go out with you?
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Does it really make a difference in why she doesn't want to go out with you?
I guess more in the sense if she isn't into me, or if she really doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. The latter does happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
Don't burn your bridge so fast, NY. Hang out, have some fun. Maybe, she has some friends.
True that, haha
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
She seems like a refreshingly honest person. She could be a cool platonic friend. Can you handle that?
I can. I already have one good platonic female friend, and if nothing else, this one also seems cool as well. Unlike a lot of other guys, I can be "just friends" with girls. If something develops overtime (and assuming I'm still single by then), then I'll deal with it if/when it happens.
I would interpret what she wrote as "sorry, not interested, EVER". Women, myself included, will sometimes sugarcoat things to let down the other person gently. She probably is really interested in being your friend but don't hold your breath for anything romantic ever happening between the 2 of you.
At least she was honest, but anything you do with her from now on will be interpreted as just being friendly. If you really like her romantically, then you might need to keep your distance, at least for a little while.
I guess I'll keep on open mind with her, but shouldn't expect for her to change her mind. She's also actually only being in NY for a couple of months (this is her 1st semester), so who knows.
You have given yourself good advise She sounds like a nice and honest person, so if you can handle "just" being friends, go for it! But don't do it just because you're hoping that she might change her mind.
Generally, when people say that they don't want a relationship, it's best to listen to them.
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