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Old 02-12-2008, 09:55 AM
Status: "Happy 2024" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Texas
8,672 posts, read 22,271,498 times
Reputation: 21369

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In view of Valentine's Day coming up, tell us what makes your marriage/relationship work if you are in a good one.

Also, please give your best piece of "relationship" advice-

Here's mine- What makes our relationship work?We truly love each other and we are committed to each other and to the sanctity of marriage. We also, after so much time together, (32 years!) understand each other and know what buttons not to push!

My best relationship advice-- This seems like a cliche, but here it is:
Don't sweat the small stuff. Save fighting for big, big issues. If it won't matter in 5 years, forget it.

Last edited by kaykay; 02-12-2008 at 10:34 AM..
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Old 02-12-2008, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Who knows
2,355 posts, read 2,182,811 times
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What makes our relationship work? Because we were friends first, we knew each other's high and low points...this has helped because we understand each other's past and how it plays into our now. Love, trust and honesty all are big parts of our relationship as well. We are each other's best friend. That's what makes our relationship work.

My best relationship advice -- communication...it is so integral to a relationship. It rates up there with love and trust.
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Old 02-12-2008, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,222 posts, read 5,019,909 times
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Yup, communication. Even if it's somthing uncomfortable to discuss, it's better than holding it in. Usually I find that it's not as bad as I thought it was.

We don't have to do everything together. Everyone needs their own thing to maintain their own identity.
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Old 02-12-2008, 11:46 AM
 
Location: California
11,466 posts, read 19,353,683 times
Reputation: 12713
Default communication

I find a really good pair of earpluggs works well combined with nodding, smiling and a yes here and there.

My advise is practice the smile and nod a little wink always helps.
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Old 02-12-2008, 01:04 PM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,165,927 times
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Put the other person in the relationship before you. And put your relationship above the needs of either of you. It's not just a romance. It's a partnership.
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Old 02-12-2008, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Southern California
10 posts, read 26,672 times
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Default Love Advice

Accept each other for who you really are, nurture the little boy in him, the little girl in her, tell your mate how much you love them (every day), make each other laugh (every day) and always kiss each other good night!
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Old 02-12-2008, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,222 posts, read 5,019,909 times
Reputation: 875
Just wanted to add one more thing...

Keep things in perspective. A disagreement over what color to paint the bathroom is not a major issue in the grand scheme of things. I know so many people that get into huge fights over stupid stuff... it's not worth it.
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Old 02-13-2008, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Washington, D.C.
324 posts, read 883,729 times
Reputation: 95
My best relationship advice is to always listen, especially because I tend to make up a story in my head and get stuck on that interpretation when it is not at all what the other person is thinking.

Speaking of sappy, there are some pretty cute love stories on the Greatest Love Stories contest on YouTube. You can vote for your favorite one...I still haven't decided on mine!
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Old 02-13-2008, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,002 posts, read 18,607,550 times
Reputation: 12357
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay View Post
In view of Valentine's Day coming up, tell us what makes your marriage/relationship work if you are in a good one.

Also, please give your best piece of "relationship" advice-

Here's mine- What makes our relationship work?We truly love each other and we are committed to each other and to the sanctity of marriage. We also, after so much time together, (32 years!) understand each other and know what buttons not to push!

My best relationship advice-- This seems like a cliche, but here it is:
Don't sweat the small stuff. Save fighting for big, big issues. If it won't matter in 5 years, forget it.

This is a great thread KayKay and your right on with not sweating the small stuff.

My best advice would be:

LOVE is NOT enough - You MUST have some of the same goals in life and morals. I'm not saying opposites don't attract because they do ~ but you must share some of these traits.

And, don't interpret what your partner says to what you think it means, ask them to translate or be more specific, sometimes people say things one way, but mean it another. This can decrease a lot of fights or disagreements.

And before getting married. Would you want your future son or daughter to marry someone just like your soon to be spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend? If you immediately shake your head no, then something is wrong.
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Old 02-13-2008, 11:32 AM
 
119 posts, read 517,866 times
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#1 - Communication. How can you live a life time with someone who you can't talk to? To someone you can't be honest and open with? It just doesn't work.

#2 - Realize that a relationship is give and take...if you give a lot, make sure to take some too....if you take a lot, make sure you are giving too.

I agree with the advice that love isn't always enough. You must have the same goals/dreams/wants in life. I got divorced because my ex-husband and I didn't have the same wants in life (I wanted kids, he didn't), it was something I couldn't give up.
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