Whats a few good ways to build confidence?

[TooncesTheDrivingCat]

I totally agree with some of the previous ideas.....


Fake it til you make it is great for talking to women, but applies to many other things as well.


Talking to random people will help with basic conversation skills.
Applying a nothing to lose mentality works.


But I would add a big one that seems counter-productive, but was huge for me. Go ahead and use terrible pick up lines and get shot down.....a lot. You may be terrified at the mere thought, but here's the deal, after it happens a few times you'll realize that it wasn't that bad and you lived through it. Then after a few more times you'll even learn to have some fun with it and guess what'll happen then? Suddenly you'll find that sometimes the women will even respond to the terrible pick up lines because you're a confident guy with a sense of humor.


When I was in the Army my friends and I would go to the bar and play a game where we each threw bad pick up lines in a hat. We'd try to the think of stuff that would get a guy slapped. Then we had to take turns drawing a line out and if we didn't use it on a woman we had to buy a round of drinks. At first I thought it was the most sadistic game I'd ever played (and I did get slapped once). But it was a huge confidence builder once you realized it wasn't that bad and those scary women have a sense of humor too.


Word of warning though....don't try that with women you know and want to like you. Get shot down by women that you may find attractive but that you don't know and aren't too worried about their opinion. If you try this on women you have a huge crush on the effect is the opposite....a total confidence killer.

[GravityMan]

Originally Posted by supertrucker212

Funymann has a point, however, I think confidence is like sales skills, to a point, you either have it or you don't. Some people just have it naturally. OP I'm sure you've heard the terms, "type A personality" and "alpha male," and "charisma." Those are things that a person is or just naturally has and can't be attained, (I'm adding this sentence in because you are talking about attracting women),. I was timid until I was in my early 20's. I can't say one event or series of events changed it but over time I just became more confident, (as far as approaching people in general),. I do know that while I gained confidence I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a type "B" personality who's also more introverted. Not the type of dude that women flock to. I would follow funymann's advise, but also keep in mind that while you may gain confidence you are what you are. And if you're like me, (personality type wise), you'll probably never be a pro at approaching women. I'm not saying you won't be able to do it but you'll have to plan it out in your head for as opposed to just doing it on the fly

I think you are correct when it comes to things like charisma and humor...those things can be refined and improved with relevant life experiences and practice, but at a base level they're a "you got it or you don't". But I somewhat disagree when it comes to confidence. While you are right about the "you are what you are"...I think anyone is capable of building confidence. If the person is willing to step out of his comfort zone and just go for it occasionally (i.e. courage), then that alone can go a long way. No need to be perfect or a "pro" or try too hard...just try. Heck, naturally being a little awkward or slightly nervous may actually be a positive in the eyes of some women.

[Frihed89]

Another quote that some will recognize: "it's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than think your way into a new way of acting" = "act as if" you are the person you want to be.